Barring Tyler Hansbrough breaking both legs and both arms on his way to the Dean Dome, the senior will become Carolina's all-time leading scorer sometime during the contest Thursday evening. The current record-holder, Phil Ford, will be in attendance to see his record broken, and after the game a huge celebration is planned. The details of the ceremony are being kept under wraps, but word on the street is that someone in the Smith Center will win one million dollars. So get your ticket today.

What Roy said after the win over Oral Roberts
What Roy wanted to say after the win over Oral Roberts

It makes our coaching staff feel very good because we need some practice time. Our staff doesn't even like the games. They're too much fun. We actually prefer practice instead. That's how good we are. We feel happy about the win, but it was probably the least efficient we have been all year. Except at Midnight Madness. We were throwin' the frickin' ball away that whole night. I think you have to congratulate Oral Roberts because they kept coming at us. And just to clarify, I mean that you have to congratulate Oral Roberts himself. You know, that dadgum televangelist. He really had his youngsters ready to play. That was probably one of the better games in Oral history. Get it? Oral history. It's a dadgum pun. Jarvis made a bunch of shots and I think their post players played well and did some things we did not want them to do. Jarvis was a lot better than everybody expected and I'm sure those guys at Carolina Water Cooler are ticked off that they picked us to cover that 37-point spread.

We were not sharp at all. I used the word "gol-durn" at halftime, and that didn't even help. We were not very good defensively at all. Fortunately we average 100 points a game. I guess we should have expected it. They are Oral Roberts after all. The last nine days we have had two practices and taken a lot of exams. And we all know how mentally exhausting exams can be. Did you know that's why Duke lost to Michigan? Because they were tired from exams? True story. We were just more gifted, playing at home and won the game for those reasons. And the fact that their guards threw some passes that would have made Brian Morrison look like Steve Nash. Again I think you have to congratulate Oral Roberts to outscore us in the second half. By himself. Not good news to me to give up 50 points in the second half. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday we have to get back and go to work. All our guys will probably lose 25 pounds apiece next week. I have been pleased with what we have done defensively on the floor, but not tonight so we have got to get back and go to work. But the good news is that we don't have to play anymore televangelists until that mid-February matchup against Jimmy Swaggart. But I could give two flips about that game right now.

Scholar: I have to tell you...I'm tickled pink to see the Heels get a chance to play in the Meineke Car Care Bowl.  To me, this is the second best bowl an ACC team can attend.  The first is obviously the Humanitarian--because who could turn down a trip to Boise to play on that famous smurf field?  But the Meineke Bowl is a close second.  You're probably wondering how I can say that this bowl is better than some of the other ACC tie-ins, such as the Peach and Gator.  The reason is two-fold:

First, the game is played in Charlotte, the Queen City.  The queen is the second most important person in the castle (behind only the jester), so it stands to reason that a bowl played in the Queen City is the second most important bowl.  In fact, the bowl was officially certified by the NCAA as the Queen City Bowl prior to obtaining a sponsor.

Speaking of sponsors, that leads me to reason numero dos.  This bowl is sponsored by Meineke Car Care.  Do you know who the spokesperson is for Meineke Car Care?  George Foreman.  George Foreman is clearly the best spokesperson related to any of the ACC bowl tie-in games.  Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl?  George Foreman grills those Chick-Fil-A cows on his George Foreman Grill. Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl?  Seriously?  Gaylord?

Gentleman: Being relegated to the Meineke Car Care Bowl is a disaster.  Just think of all the exotic locations that are more appealing than Charlotte...

At the EagleBank Bowl in our nation's capital, the football team could have had the opportunity to go hunting with Dick Cheney, just as the basketball team got the opportunity to play basketball with Barack Obama several months ago.

At the Motor City Bowl, Trimane Goddard and Garrett Reynolds could have capped off their college experience by standing in the streets of downtown Detroit while federal helicopters fly over, dropping bags of bailout cash available to anyone who can get their hands on it.

At the International Bowl, some of the non-NFL prospects on our team could have at least gotten a look from scouts for the Toronto Argonauts.

But what is the team going to do in Charlotte?  Take a visit to Discovery Place in between tours of banking buildings that are now largely unoccupied?  Yeah, sign me up for that.

Scholar: How dare you put down Charlotte! The "704" has been nothing but good to you. Hakeem Nicks now gets to play what will likely be his final game in a Tar Heel uniform in his home town. You make it sound as though Discovery Place and a failing banking industry (while awesome) are the only things the Queen City have going for it. You conveniently left out Carowinds and the Bobcats.  Need I go on?

And I believe you've grossly over-estimated the enjoyment one would get out of taking a visit to your "exotic" locations.  Why would the team need to take a hunting trip with Dick Cheney?  They already shot themselves in the foot in games against Maryland and N.C. State, so getting shot in the face wouldn't be all that new of an experience for them.  And Trimane and Garrett have no reason to go to Detroit and stand out in the bitter cold just to catch some of the bailout cash--they've already instructed Mike Copeland and Tyler Zeller to bring some of it back for them after they make the trip in April.

At least we've spent the last week relatively confident that the Heels would be headed to the Car Care Bowl.  Would you rather have spent the last 7 days pacing back and forth in your living room mulling over a 6-6 record only to discover that you've been invited to a bowl located in Birmingham, Alabama?

Gentleman: Birmingham is a delightful town. Didn't you realize that they recently began allowing black folks to sit anywhere they choose on public buses? Wait, maybe that's just in Montgomery...

I will say that it could have been worse. The Car Care Bowl isn't the worst bowl...in fact it's only second worst. The BCS Championship Game actually ranks lower. At least the winner of the Car Care Bowl has an undeniable claim to the title "Car Care Bowl Champion." The winner of the BCS Championship Game will constantly have to deal with people telling them that they're not legitimate national champions...

It seems that the ACC/Big Ten Challenge can at least be called the "ACC/Big Ten Moderate Dispute." Still several levels away from actually being a "challenge," but we'll call it progress for the Big Ten. Hopefully we won't screw up our end of the deal.

9:10 - So I guess Wake isn't as good as we thought. They're only beating Tom Crean's squad of Caucasian misfits by 30.

9:19 - Don't we have Jimmy V Week at least six times a year? I'm almost positive that I see his speech at least every other month. Or maybe, instead of a bunch of different weeks, the "week" begins at the ESPY Awards in July and doesn't end until spring when Dickie V goes on vacation to watch the Rays in spring training.

9:21 - We're just underway, and Tyler is already on pace for a 320-point explosion. That should get him back into the National Player of the Year discussion.

9:27 - Benji is eating brussel sprouts, and it smells like he cooked them in urine. So it's more than a bit difficult to enjoy our early 11-6 lead.

9:34 - Danny hasn't missed a three-point attempt since midway through his sophomore year. Dude is out of his mind.

9:43 - You know, it's entirely possible that we could score more points in this building tonight than the Lions will score here all season. I have no idea if that's actually true or not, but it sounds true.

9:48 - "Don't bring that weak tot action!" - Ed Davis, circa 9:48 EST

9:55 - Is Ed ever going to lose the t-shirt or is this something we're going to have to deal with his entire career? Benji suggests that maybe he has horrible back acne like JJ did as a freshman.

10:03 - Shulman just said, "Here comes the Spartans." Little bit of subject/verb disagreement there. Just wanted to point that out.

10:04 - Well, Vitale pretty much just guaranteed that Tyler will average 15 ppg for his entire NBA career. So, you know...no pressure.

10:17 - Ah, good. Some sappy piano music with slow-motion video of Jimmy V. Did you know that he died of cancer? And that he's apparently the only person in the recorded history of the human race that has ever done so?

10:28 - Roy nearly passed out again. One of these days he's going to go down in a heap on the court, rendering us unable to make fun of Coach K's fetal position. But hopefully Roy won't be wearing tennis shoes when he goes down.

10:33 - Here's my problem with the Jared Galleria of Jewelry commercial. You see, evidently this woman has been dating this guy long enough that he felt compelled to buy jewelry for her. Yet at the same time, their relationship is still new and exciting enough that she feels the need to send text message updates to her friends throughout the evening. Logic seems to be lacking here.

10:42 - Dave says that he was suddenly just overcome with a premonition that we're going to meet Duke in the NCAA tournament this year. Apparently he's not only stopped concerning himself with this game, but the rest of the regular season as well.

10:52 - Rasheed looks good in Carolina blue. They should have traded him to the Nuggets with Chauncey Billups so he could finish his career in the appropriate color. Either that or make him dye his gray spot blue.

11:04 - There have certainly been Carolina teams better than this one, but I don't recall a time when we were this good, and the rest of the NCAA was so bad.

11:07 - Looks like Vitale made it to the 5:24 mark in the second half before his first Tim Tebow reference. Pretty impressive that he held out this long. Benji has been waiting all night for that.

11:22 - Did we win? I stopped paying attention. But only about three more months until we play a worthy opponent.

At halftime of North Carolina’s game against Michigan State on Wednesday night, we urge you to take a moment and reflect on the first 25% of the 2008-2009 regular season. That’s right, midway through Wednesday’s contest we’ll be a quarter of the way through basketball. Seems like it just started last week.

If the Heels can manage to play the Spartans even in the first half of action, they’ll have won or tied every half of basketball they played in the first quarter of the year. Thus far they’ve outscored their opponent in every half except the second twenty minutes of the Penn, Oregon, and UNC-Asheville games, which they tied. Just kidding - Carolina actually more than doubled the Bulldogs in each half on Sunday evening. But the Penn and Oregon part is 100% true – despite winning those games by 15 and 29 respectively, the Heels merely played their opponent evenly in the second half of those two contests.

Wednesday’s game, however, could be the toughest of the young season for the Heels. That seems unlikely given the 18 point drubbing that Maryland handed to Michigan State on Thanksgiving, but it’s probably accurate considering that we can say with absolute certainty that you won’t see Luke Harangody whining about having pneumonia during this game.

Speaking of pneumonia…remember that time when Shavlik Randolph had mono? The two illnesses aren’t really related, and we don’t necessarily have anything to add to the Shav story, we’re just sorry this site wasn’t around to make fun of him while he attended Duke.

But back to Wednesday night’s opponent. The Spartans have a pretty tough schedule this season. Not only do they play some quality non-conference opponents – Maryland (who wouldn’t have made this list if they hadn’t already defeated MSU), North Carolina, Texas, and Kansas – but, according to their official website, they also end the season with two games at Illinois, three games at Indiana (admittedly, not an upper echelon team this season), and two home games against Purdue.

In a shocking departure from protocol, this season North Carolina will play on a “neutral court” (in the same sense that Greensboro is a neutral floor when the Heels play Illinois) while the Duke Blue Devils will play a true road game in the ACC/Big Ten Challenge. To our knowledge, those two events have never occurred in the same Challenge. Mostly because Duke has never played a road game in the event.

Sadly, by the time the Heels and Spartans tip off Wednesday night at around 9:15, the Challenge will already be decided. The ACC typically takes the title (how’s that for alliteration?) before the second night concludes, so playing in the late game on night number three is really just a formality. Carolina will be playing for pride, however, as they’ll look to improve to .500 (5-5) in the event.

Changing the subject a little, but who is the last top notch collegiate player you remember coming out of Michigan State? Mateen Cleaves? Us too. Cleaves graduated a good while ago, so the Spartans are probably due for a star sometime in the next decade or so. In case you’re wondering, no, we don’t count Drew Neitzel as a “top notch collegiate player.” Of course, you could probably take it a step further and say that Mateen Cleaves wasn’t a top notch collegiate player, either. In which case, you’ve got to go all the way back to Magic Johnson to find one.

Wednesday’s game will be played at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan. This is bad news for the Spartans, as the home team at Ford Field hasn’t won since the Lions defeated the Chiefs on December 23, 2007. If you live in Michigan and miss your chance to see the Heels at Ford Field Wednesday, don’t worry…they’ll be back April 4, 2009. Of course, by then the venue will likely be renamed Toyota Field.

I've arrived home from my Thanksgiving travels just in time for kickoff. I''ll be beginning this View and Stillman will be here as soon as the posted legal speed limit will allow. I'll likely hand over the reigns to him at halftime. Or maybe we could alternate every two entries a la Curry and Durant. We'll play it by ear. Or nose, in Stillman's case.

3:34 - Excuse me for what I hope will only be a few moments while I attempt to put our Christmas tree in the stand.

3:40 - Touchdown, Duke. I'd love to tell you what happened, but ESPNU was too busy showing a replay of the previous play. Got the tree in the stand, by the way.

3:41 - There are apparently some Duke fans in attendance...I can hear them doing their "go to hell, Carolina, go to hell" chant. You stay classy, Durham.

3:48 - No worries. Shaun Draughn just scampered for a first down. And then another first down. And then a touchdown. And suddenly we're on pace to see both teams score 56 points in regulation.

3:57 - How inexcusable for Deunta Williams to drill the Duke receiver like that. If only we had more polite gentlemen playing safety like we did during the Bunting Era. Not only would those young men allow you to catch the ball and then allow you to run to the end zone unimpeded, but they'd meet you there with tea and crumpets for a post-touchdown celebration. Ah, the glory days.

4:03 - Funny story...in fact, you probably won't even believe this, but Shaun just fumbled. I know, I was as surprised as you were. You'll also to be shocked to hear that Duke ran it back for a touchdown. 14-7.

4:14 - We're still on pace for a 56-56 game at the end of regulation. Technically, each team is on pace for 63.7 points, as there's still 1:41 to play in the first quarter, but I'm banking on neither team scoring again until quarter two. Plus I have no idea how one acquires seven tenths of a point.

4:20 - What luck. No more points in the first quarter. So now each team is officially on pace for exactly 56 points. Or eight touchdowns. However you want to look at it.

4:23 - For some reason, ESPNU sold "Mighty Putty" an infomercial in between the first and second quarters. It's been going on since my last entry.

4:31 - Dinner is served (a smidge on the early side). Might be a while before another entry - my mother always told me to never type with my mouth full.

4:38 - Shaun is now playing the Blue Devils one on eleven. He's actually holding his own quite well.

4:48 - Hmmmm...touchdown Nicks? I don't think he caught it. Did he catch it? He caught it?!? Touchdown Nicks! That was impressive. He went all David Tyree up in here.

5:00 - At the beginning of the game, I was really worried about the Eron Riley/Jordan Hemby matchup, but strictly from a pass coverage perspective. As it turns out, I should have been more worried about it from a street fighting perspective, as Eron just tried to stomp a hole into poor Jordan.

5:14 - I'm now officially turning over this View to Stillman, though he's actually already written four and a half entries. Free Priceless Gym t-shirt to the first person who can accurately guess which four and a half.

5:17 - I just received a phone call from friend-of-the-site Jeff, who said, "What do you think about this game so far? It's just the typical Carolina/Duke game. Carolina is doing anything they want on offense, but Duke is scrapping and clawing and doing anything they can to stay in the game. But Carolina is just having their way on offense." Now, can anyone tell me why he started that dissertation by asking me what I thought?

5:29 - Hakeem is now a 1,000-yard receiver, but Dave is predicting that later today he's going to catch a screen pass that goes for negative six yards, bringing him back to an even 999 yards for the season. ::sigh:: You know how sometimes at a party, a guy will walk in and start being generally obnoxious and bring all of the laughter and happiness to a screeching halt? Well, Dave is that guy when it comes to football.

5:42 - Garbage. Kendric Burney just lit up Eron Riley and got a penalty. Again, if only we had the tea and crumpets crew, Duke would be punting right now. Also, speaking of Eron, that's how Chinese people refer to Elon University. I'm sorry, that was inappropriate.

5:50 - Gregory Little has made some delightful catches today. Incidentally, he also has an extraordinarily long neck.

5:57 - TOUCHDOWN RICHARD QUIINN!!! Well, that's nice. Good way to send out the big fella. You know, assuming we don't blow this 8-point lead.

6:07 - Greg just likes to hand the Blue Devils their collective hind parts, doesn't he?

6:13 - So let me get this straight--we dominated Georgia Tech, who today beat Georgia. We also lost to Virginia, who is one of two ACC teams not going to a bowl. Alrighty then.

6:25 - ESPNU commercials are just terrific. Every product I've seen today can cure AIDS, but only costs $19.99. (Of course, that's only if you call right now).

6:41 - Is it just me, or does this look all too familiar? Duke is driving, they're probably going to score with :08 to play. Of course, they'll have to go for two, and Kentwan Balmer will show up and sack Thad Lewis before anybody even knows what's happening. So it should all work out in the end.

6:46 - I've grown weary of being on the edge of my seat during football games against Duke. Although, you'd think I'd be used to it by now.

6:47 - And once again, Trimane Goddard seals it with a pick. Extra credit for running out of bounds and falling on his badonkadonk.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm in the booming metropolis of Statesville for the night. I've been in town since a dental appointment this morning. No cavities!

10:00 - I just defeated my father as quickly as possible in a game of pool so that I could be in here in time for tip-off...and wouldn't you know it, the Magic-Sixers game is taking its sweet time to end.

10:06 - So not only do I have to watch an NBA game instead of the first few minutes of our game, but I also have to see J.J. Redick and Elton Brand on my (parents') television?

10:13 - In the first two games of this tourney, Ty Lawson still hasn't played a total of 40 minutes. Last time we won the Maui, Raymond Felton played 216 minutes in the first two games.

10:15 - Kristin is in Greensboro at her parents' house and has texted to say that the cable in their den is out, so she's watching the game from the kitchen on the teeny tiny TV. It may be a 13 incher (that's what she said). Twenty bucks says she goes to bed before halftime.

10:20 - I can't tell if I'm watching two really good teams or two really bad teams. One second you'll see Notre Dame hit a spectacular three followed by Lawson sprinting the floor for a "BLOW BY!" The next second, we try a stupid cross court pass that gets picked off only to see the Irish blow an open layup.

10:24 - Not gonna lie...it's pretty frustrating to hear the announcers say things like "Zeller with the rebound" or "nice look for Zeller" or anything else that includes the word "Zeller."

10:28 - Tyler just lost his contact. First time this season. I bet it won't be the last.

10:31 - The Irish just kicked a field goal to cut our lead from 28-21 to 28-24. Oh, sorry, wrong sport...we've already beaten Notre Dame in football this year.

10:40 - DEON THOMPSON! WHAT A DUNK! Wow. Sorry to have yelled in your ear like that.

10:42 - This Luke Zeller fella...is he Tyler's older brother or is he his father? I ask because it appears he's got quite a bit of male pattern baldness going on.

10:46 - My dad is taking orders for Thanksgiving breakfast. I'm either going to have a gravy biscuit with a side of bacon or a chicken biscuit. Depends on whether he goes to the little coffee shop up the street or to Bojangles. Anyone want anything?

10:52 - I was hoping to be up 30 at the half like we normally are in Maui, but I'll settle for 10.

10:53 - Kristin's off to bed. I owe everyone $20 since she made it until halftime. How about in lieu of me paying everyone, all of you just buy t-shirts instead?

11:06 - My brother, Mark, has decided to join me for half number two, now that he and his fiancee have finished watching some movie called Hellboy 2. I highly doubt it was more entertaining than the first half of this game, but he's pretty whipped, so I don't think he had a choice.

11:12 - For some reason, when I hear "Harangody" I think "mahogany."

11:16 - Moments ago Tyler was called for a phantom walk. The officials promptly made up for it by allowing Danny to stop dribbling at midcourt but continue running all the way into the paint.

11:20 - Sometimes I feel sorry for Jay Bilas when he tries to have an intelligent basketball discussion with Bill Raftery.

11:28 - This Harangody character kind of sucks. Surely he's sick or something, but the announcers haven't mentioned that he's under the weather a single time. Not once.

11:32 - Thirteen rebounds for Ed Davis. Not this game - just on that one play.

11:37 - Hansbrough just flushed it to put the Heels up by 23. With that, my brother is calling it a night. With no fiancee to blame that on, we'll just have to say it's because he's a pansy.

11:48 - Have we scored since Mark went to bed? It's now just an 11 point lead. If they cut it to single digits I'll go wake him up.

11:53 - Notre Dame has no interior defense. None. If we make an entry pass, you can go ahead and put three points on the board (they foul pretty much every time).

11:57 - Had we lost this game, we'd be adding McAlarney to "the list" of players who single-handedly buried us. Luckily, we're going to win this game, and he'll instead be added to the Tyrese Rice "nice try" list.

12:01 - The University of North Carolina would like to thank Chaminade for continuing to invite us to the Maui Invitational despite our complete domination of the event.

9:31 - Sean McDonough, Bill Raftery, and Jay Bilas. Don't want to set my expectations too high, but this might be the greatest announcing team that's ever done one of our games. A little kiss!

9:34 - Here's the risk that we take by not playing Tyler: If something happens and it ends up being close, and we decide that we need him later in the game, then it's going to look like a move of desperation and make the other four guys on the court hit the panic button. It's a lose-lose situation.

9:39 - Somehow it's taken me four games to mention this, but what's up with Marc Campbell's hair this year? It's like a deadly combination of Dante Calabria, Matt Wenstrom, and Ponyboy from the Outsiders.

9:45 - I think Will Gravy had both hands above the square when he dunked. Mad rise.

9:48 - Dave is now officially a gambler. He finally figured out how to make bets online, became a member of this site, and took Chaminade +31.5. Knowing how easily he gets addicted to stuff, I'm going to recommend that you keep a close eye on CNN for the next six months as they'll probably be reporting on the congressional hearings for the David Staley Bailout Plan.

9:57 - Roy just looks too comfortable in that casual Maui attire. Some coaches (ok, all of the other coaches in America) look goofy in a Hawaiian shirt, but Roy looks like he was born to be on vacation. Benji says that he's surprised that Roy hasn't scheduled us to play a game in Scotland so he can play golf at St. Andrews.

10:05 - I actually really like the idea of Dave betting on games. I'm already rooting hard for us to win by exactly 32 so that he'll lose by a half a point.

10:09 - Dave wants to know if it's just him, or if Bobby's shot is a little off, which has sent me to TarHeelBlue to find out just how off he is. The verdict? Two-for-14 from the field, and 1-for-9 from behind the arc. And he's only missed two more so far tonight. So I'd say it's just Dave.

10:18 - I'm thankful for Danny Green. And with that said, it seems like a great time to remind you of our Thanksgiving Sale on Priceless Gym t-shirts. Buy two shirts for just $22. Or, if you only want one shirt, you can buy just one for $22. (We try to be as accomodating as possible).

10:23 - Dave already regrets taking the Silver Swords and the 31.5 points.

10:26 - In the halftime feature, Roy just used the phrase "Jiminy Christmas." Glad he cleaned it up for the cameras.

10:38 - Bobcats won. Ray dropped 23 to go with his seven rebounds and five assists. Also, the big French dude started and scored 2 points. Looks like he could end up being the Bobcats version of Neil Fingleton.

10:41 - Speaking of Fingleton, we've obtained a current status update on the big fellow from Benji after his trip to New York a couple of weeks ago. While he was there, he told a girl he went to Carolina, to which she replied, "Oh, do you know Neil Fingleton? I went to Holy Cross with him!" As it turns out, Fing is presently hanging around New York trying to make it as an actor. Benji says that he could get a role as the villian in the next Austin Powers movie.

10:46 - Dave says he wants a Shamwow for Christmas. Actually, that should be Chaminade's mascot. The Chaminade Shamwows.

10:51 - We're beating the tar out of Chaminade, that's why I'm talking about Fing, the Bobcats, and Shamwows. Danny Green just threw down a one-handed alley oop, causing Bill Raftery to have a seizure on national television.

11:02 - Barring a miraculous Silver Swords comeback, Dave is going to be out four cents on this game. Did I mention that's what he bet? Four cents. His first ever internet wager, and he couldn't come up with a nickel.

11:06 - Benji says that since they don't have Bojangle's in Hawaii, everyone in the gym gets a roasted pig if we break 100.

11:09 - To paraphrase Ron Burgundy: "Ladies and Gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you to stop what you're doing and listen. Bobby Frasor just hit a three-pointer."

11:19 - Justin Watts is currently running around with a bunch of short, white people. That's a good sign that we can call it a ballgame.

Talk about a weekend chock full of Tar Heel athletics. There is a veritable cornucopia (how’s that for a Thanksgiving reference?) of Carolina sporting events for fans to choose from. As a side note, do you think people who follow the Jayhawks ever have an opportunity to say “chock full” and “rock chock” in the same sentence? That would be awesome.

Where to start, where to start? So many games to choose from. We should probably just rank them in order of importance.

1. Women’s Soccer vs. Illinois

By far the most important contest of the weekend will be played on Fetzer Field Saturday evening. Anson Dorrance and company will face the Fighting Illini as the Heels look to win their 19th NCAA Soccer Championship, and their first since 2006. Yes, 2006 was just two years ago, but when you’ve won as many titles as Carolina, enduring a full year of not being the defending champs is an eternity.

The winner of Saturday’s contest will move on to face either Florida or Texas A&M for a chance to advance to the College Cup (a.k.a., Final Four). The Heels have yet to allow a goal in the NCAA Tournament this year, with shutout victories over both Western Carolina and Charlotte. Of course, neither of those teams were coached by the great Bruce Weber, so Carolina will have their work cut out for them this weekend.

2. Volleyball vs. Florida State

The Heels take on Florida State in a game with serious conference implications on the line. This game is similar to the football team’s game against Maryland last weekend. Here’s hoping Carolina doesn’t lay an egg like they did in College Park.

In other news, if you ever find yourself looking for a picture that could easily be captioned “the luckiest guy in the world,” look no further than this year’s Seminole team photo.

3. Men’s Basketball at UC Santa Barbara

Look at that – a horn of plenty reference in paragraph one and a Santa reference in an opponent’s name. Talk about getting into the holiday spirit.

The Heels will battle the Gauchos Friday night at 10 p.m. EST in a game intended to be a warm-up for the Maui Invitational that begins on Monday. If you’ll remember, the last time Carolina made a stop in Cali on their way to Maui, they lost to Santa Clara (again with the Santa thing). Of course, they also won the National Championship that year, so a loss Friday wouldn’t necessarily ruin the entire season. Another season-ending injury, on the other hand, could accomplish that feat.

4. Swimming and Diving at Gamecock Invitational

We don’t know too much about Swimming and Diving here at Carolina Water Cooler, but a quick glance at a few pictures from throughout this season has quickly shown us that you can put a swim cap and goggles on pretty much every guy and make him look like Michael Phelps. Nearly typed “Derrick Phelps” right there, which would have rendered the statement incredibly inaccurate.

Due to our limited knowledge of the sport – our knowledge being that we know it requires water – it’s hard for us to know exactly how consequential this match is. But considering that it’s being held in Columbia, South Carolina, and we can’t think of a single significant athletic event to ever be played in the Palmetto State, we’re going to have to rank this one pretty low on the list.

5. Wrestling at the Sprawl and Brawl

The fact that there is still so much wrestling season left to go meant that we weren’t even going to preview this matchup. Then we saw that the name of the match was the “Sprawl and Brawl,” and we couldn’t pass that up. We don’t even have anything to add to the title, we just wanted to say “Sprawl and Brawl” on this website. Plus, now we can say that we’ve previewed every sporting event of the weekend, even those in which the Heels are playing the most trivial of opponents.

Stillman's View from the Couch: Kentucky
11/18/08

9:01 - Oh Dick Vitale. It's been so long. Not nearly long enough, but it's been so long. The good news is that we should be getting a healthy dose of both Erin Andrews and Ashley Judd.

9:05 - And the first game of the season is underway. (Full disclosure: I don't count games that aren't in HD as real, actual games).

9:08 - Dave points out that Deon is averaging a shot every 30 seconds. Fortunately, I don't recall him missing one.

9:11 - Good work, Bobby. That missed layup should give us some good locker room quotes for at least two weeks. Although, since Bobby is usually the best quote, I guess it would have been better if somebody else had missed it.

9:13 - Friend-of-the-site Bryson has requested that I not hate him for this, but he's secretly hoping that Kentucky pulls out a victory and inspires Ashley Judd to have a Brandy Chastain moment on national television.

9:19 - It's 25 to 6. I don't even know anybody from the state of Kentucky, but I'm already picturing how awkward it's going to be if I ever meet someone from there. It's that bad. Dave says he's glad that he couldn't figure out how to place a bet on Kentucky +16.

9:27 - Deon has lost so much weight in the last two years that I've mistaken him for Reyshawn Terry three times tonight.

9:30 - I don't mean to sound like a completely unrealistic message board geek, but I'm fairly certain that we could beat the Celtics. If not the '92 Dream Team.

9:36 - I'm suddenly concerned that Deon is going to declare for the NBA draft. At halftime.

9:46 - It occurs to me that we're going to need a good way to differentiate between Tyler and Tyler when both of them are active. "Hansbrough" and "Zeller" just sounds too formal. We could use "Lil' Tyler," but I don't know if that should refer to the younger Tyler or the shorter Tyler. For now, let's just go with "Tyler (the old one)" and "Tyler (the young one)."

9:57 - Bobby Knight's eyebrows have always been interesting, but they're just completely out of control this year. I'm pretty sure they've become a habitat to several small rodents.

10:06 - Dave points out that the eyebrows are particularly odd because not many of them are white, while every last hair on his head is white. Strange.

10:15 - Bryson states that, based on appearance alone, Tyler (the young one) looks like he should be playing for Duke. I'd like to passionately argue to the contrary, but I'm having trouble disagreeing. Fortunately, the fact that he's a big man with actual talent precludes him from being able to play for Duke.

10:24 - Don't misunderstand--I'm well aware that Tyler (the old one) is a relatively important part of our team. But did Dick just downgrade us "a top 20 team" without him and make it sound like a compliment? Surely I heard that wrong.

10:48 - Dickie now on the record telling us that Kentucky will make the NCAA tournament.

10:52 - Remember when Deon was kinda pudgy, relatively passive on offense, and essentially a non-factor on defense? Me neither.

10:58 - I know it was foolish of me to think this, but I honestly thought that ESPN would be able to broadcast tonight's game (a basketball game between North Carolina and Kentucky, mind you) without subjecting us to a Tim Tebow Lovefest. Sadly mistaken.

11:00 - Great. Tyler (the young one) just shattered his wrist and will have to sit out until halfway through his junior season. This is getting out of hand. It's almost like Tom O'Brien is coaching our team.

11:05 - That's the ballgame. And probably the season. I'm expecting Ty, Wayne, Danny, and Ed to crash into each other at practice tomorrow, causing Wayne to miss two weeks with a severe concussion, putting Ty in a body cast until May, and leaving both Danny and Ed in a coma until 2012. Worst game ever.

It’s official. College basketball season is upon us. The little warm-up against Penn was nice and all, but now it’s time for the big boys to come out and play. ESPN is getting everyone geared up for round ball with their First Annual College Hoops Tip-Off Marathon. The event begins with Memphis hosting Massachusetts for a midnight EST (11 p.m. Central) tipoff and will be capped off by your very own North Carolina Tar Heels hosting the Kentucky Wildcats.

Between the ESPN family of networks, 14 games will be aired during the Marathon. There will even be a special one hour edition of College GameDay originating from Chapel Hill. One of the highlights of the program? The Kansas Jayhawks hoisting their National Championship banner. Here’s hoping Roy wears his sticker again!

Since he’s going to be in town for GameDay anyway, Dick Vitale has agreed to grace the Bulls Head Bookshop at the UNC Student Store with his presence. It will be interesting to see who gets booed more – Dickie V or the kid wearing a Duke jersey on the sportsmanship commercial at the football games.

But the biggest boos of all will likely be reserved for Tuesday night’s opponent. Last season, Billy Gillispie won his first game as the Wildcats’ head coach before his squad suffered an embarrassing home loss to Gardner-Webb. This year, he opted not to goof around, and instead led them to the embarrassing home loss in their first game of the season as Kentucky fell to VMI in Rupp Arena on Friday. Despite scoring 103 points, topping the century mark for the first time in nearly five years, Kentucky managed to find a way to lose, allowing 111 points in just a 40-minute game.

The loss, coupled with Carolina’s season opening victory over Penn, allowed the Heels to gain a game on the Wildcats in the all-time wins race. While Carolina fans only think about this statistic once a year (when they play Kentucky), Wildcat fans wake up every morning and go through the record books with an abacus – or, for the more technologically advanced Bluegrass State residents, a slide rule – to verify that they still have more wins in their history than the Heels do. Occasionally during this daily ritual someone will stumble across 10 or 15 wins that no one had noticed before. The current tally shows Kentucky with 1,966 wins and North Carolina bringing up the rear with a mere 1,951. Tuesday night, one team will get the opportunity to tack on another victory.

The Tar Heels will enter Tuesday’s contest a little short handed. For the second game in a row, Tyler Hansbrough, Marcus Ginyard, and Mike Copeland will be unavailable due to injuries. While Copeland (torn ACL) and Ginyard (stress fracture in foot) are still recovering from serious injuries, the rumor in Chapel Hill is that Hansbrough is at nearly 100% following a stress reaction in his shin, but he is refusing to play so that he doesn’t risk further injury and hurt his stock in the 2009 NBA Draft.

With that Tyler on the bench, it’ll be up to another Tyler (Zeller), along with Deon Thompson and Ed Davis, to stop the greatest player in the history of Kentucky, nay, collegiate, basketball – Patrick Patterson. Though, after pee-pee (or does he pronounce it P.P.?) only managed to scrounge up eight points (of a possible 103!) in the Cats’ season opener, the Heels may want to consider guarding Jodie Meeks, who put up 39 against VMI on Friday night.

Tuesday night’s game will air on ESPN at 9 p.m. following the special edition of College GameDay. Thanks to Barack Obama’s victory in North Carolina, Ashley Judd will be sitting in the student section for the game. And that’s something that people of all political persuasions can get behind…whether she wears Carolina Blue or not.

After our Scholar/Gentleman piece earlier this week, I decided to compromise with Stillman. I’ve already watched the first half of the football game live. It is now halftime, and I’ve switched to the basketball game on DVR. When the second half of the football game starts, I’ll flip back to that. When they finish on the gridiron, I’ll beright back here to finish up my View from the DVR. You can just call me Iron Man.

5:08 – I hope there’s not 10 minutes of pregame stuff for me to wade through before tip-off. Otherwise, I’ll barely make it to the first TV timeout before the football game resumes.

5:12 – Only four minutes of pregame junk before the game started. Of course, I fast-forwarded through 30 minutes or so of commercials.

5:14 – Oh good. We lead 2-0, just like in the football game. (My apologies to the basketball firsters who are reading this View from the DVR before Stillman’s View from the Couch of the football game. I’ll try not to spoil any more of the results of that game for you.)

5:16 – And now we trail by a point. I’d be more nervous if the stupid folks on ABC hadn’t shown us the score during the football game. We were winning 37-28. Sorry to ruin this for you, too.

5:19 – Alright, TV timeout numero uno. Might as well just switch back to the football game since halftime is nearly over. Here’s hoping ABC doesn’t show the final score of this game during the second half.

I’m back. And I’d just like to thank Stillman for convincing me to watch the football game live. I have no regrets whatsoever. If you haven’t read Stillman’s article yet and therefore don’t know who won the Maryland game, I’ll keep you in suspense on whether I’m being sincere or sarcastic.

6:53 – We look a little rusty. Probably because the entire team is injured. But I’m sure the fact that it’s our first game has something to do with it also.

6:57 – Larry Drew II kind of looks like Q.T. Not so much in physical appearance, but just in the little things. Like the way he catches the inbounds pass after a made basket and throws overhead passes and things of that nature. Also because he’s wearing number 11.

7:02 - It’s actually kind of difficult to get into the flow of a basketball game immediately after watching a football game. Especially such a fantastic game. (Again…serious or sarcastic? You just don’t know.)

7:04 – Since I never watch sporting events on DVR, I almost forgot I could fast forward through commercials. That would have been tragic.

7:10 – It’s 37-28. Thanks to ABC, I had no idea this would be the score.

7:15 – Much like the Drew/Q.T. comparison, it’s not all that difficult to spot some similarities between Tyler Zeller and Tyler Hansbrough. Maybe it’s just because this game isn’t in HD.

7:20 – Up 15 at the half. And apparently they’re going to be showing “highlights” from Black Sunday during halftime. I hate I’m going to be fast-forwarding through that.

7:24 – Kristin’s working a puzzle on the coffee table and now I have nowhere to put my plate. I don’t know why she can’t do her puzzle at the dinner table like a normal person.

7:26 – Terrific dunk by the Gazeller (that is what everyone will be calling him, correct?). I’d love to have he and Stillman stand side-by-side and see whose nose is bigger. Really hope ol' Tyler stays four years so I’ll have 48 months worth of nose material to hit Stillman with.

7:28 – Now that we’re up 20, I wonder if the folks in the Dean Dome are wishing they’d stayed home to watch the wildly entertaining football game instead. It’s amazing how many comments have the potential to mean two different things.

7:39 – Ty Lawson with a blind pass over his head to a wide open Deon Thompson for a dunk. That was cute.

7:49 – Fantastic bounce pass in transition by Danny Green. He looked like Cam Sexton out there.

7:55 – I’d say we won’t beat Kentucky playing this way, but if VMI hung 111 on them in Rupp how hard could it be?

7:57 – And a Quaker three pointer cuts the lead to 10. And Stillman said this would be a 40-point drubbing. Shows how much he knows.

8:00 – Easy Ed is quite the rebounder.

8:02 – Kristin finished her puzzle and she’s missing a piece. That’s a shame. It’s probably in the couch cushions.

8:07 – Roy looks thrilled. He must be listening to the football game with an earbud.

8:10 – Fifteen point win. I’ll take it. And, after four and a half hours of Carolina athletics, I’m spent.

North Carolina hits the road for the last time in the 2008 regular season this Saturday as they head to Chevy Chase Bank Field at Byrd Stadium in College Park to take on the Maryland Terrapins. Before you start sending in your corrections, let the record state that we’re aware the Heels technically end the season on the road against Duke…but we’re of the mindset that when you have more fans in the stadium than the home team you become the home team by default.

The Heels enter the game with a 7-2 record. The last time that happened, they were coming off a National Championship. Of course, that was in basketball. The last time they started 7-2 in football was probably during the Jim Hickey era. In other news – and this may have been discussed when he coached here – but while researching that statistic, we were reminded that Australia once had a serial killer named John Bunting. (No relation.)

Meanwhile, Maryland enters the game with a 6-3 record (4-2 ACC). The two conference losses have come to respectable teams in Virginia and Virginia Tech. If those two sound familiar, it’s because they both beat Carolina. Of course, the Heels lost to the Cavaliers by three in overtime, whereas the Terps were shut out 31-0 by Al Groh’s Virginia squad. Doesn’t sound quite so respectable now, does it? Games like that (and their 10 point loss to Middle Tennessee State) are why this Maryland team is often dubbed a “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” team.

A nasty rumor recently spread throughout the nation that that nickname stemmed from the fact that Ralph Friedgen was big enough to have eaten both Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, but it turns out that rumor was started by Charlie Weis. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Speaking of the Fridge, we’re pretty mad at that guy here at Carolina Water Cooler. After he guided his team to the embarrassing Middle Tennessee State loss mentioned earlier, we spent a perfectly good $7.95 on the domain name www.fireralphfriedgen.com expecting him to continue his losing ways. And then what did he do? He went out and beat California and a slew of other teams. The guy is a disgrace to Ralph’s everywhere, including Dave’s dad.

This game has major implications for both the Coastal and Atlantic Divisions. With Virginia Tech’s loss on Thursday night (thanks, Miami), the Heels now control their own destiny. If they win out, they’re off to Raymond James Stadium in Tampa Bay, Florida to represent the Coastal Division in the Dr. Pepper Pepsi Coca-Cola ACC Championship Game. Of course, if they don’t win out, they could find themselves playing in the equally prestigious San Diego County Credit Union Library Johnson & Johnson’s Poinsettia Bowl. Similarly, the Terrapins also control their own destiny. Sadly, both teams can’t win out since they play each other this week. So we’re going to need the Heels to go ahead and take care of business Saturday.

This weekend also marks the start of basketball season. The pride of the Ivy League will head to the Dean Dome at 4 p.m. on Saturday and patiently await their whipping from the (likely) Tyler Hansbrough-less Heels. We don’t have the time, space, or desire to do the kind of in-depth research on the Quakers that you just got on the Terrapins, so just re-read last year’s Penn preview to prepare (nice alliteration, huh?) for this weekend’s contest. Surely they can’t have changed all that much.

Tickets to both the football game and the basketball game are still available. Feel free to purchase tickets to them both. Since the games take place at the same time, you’ll only be able to attend one of them – but Carolina Water Cooler will get a hefty commission.

Gentleman: No other option? I can only hope that Butch Davis isn't saying, "Hmmm...let's see, I could stay at Carolina, make two and a half million dollars, and coach in front of fans who care enough to watch my team play during the commercial breaks of a basketball game against an Ivy League school...OR I could go to Tennessee, make four and a half million dollars, coach in one of the biggest stadiums in America, and have more teeth than anybody else in the state! There's no other option!!!"

I won't even try to delve into the misguided mindset that one must have to consider themselves a "basketball firster." But for this particular situation, suffice it to say that if you elect to watch an insignificant game that your team is guaranteed to win, instead of a truly meaningful contest with an unknown outcome, you should probably see your family doctor to determine just how severe your testicular fortitude deficiency is.

The football game begins half an hour earlier. Am I really to understand that you'll begin watching the significant game, only to abandon it thirty minutes later in favor of a game that's sure to have you yawning before the second TV timeout?

Also consider time management. Watching a basketball game on DVR will seem like it takes almost no time at all. After speeding through the commercials and halftime, your viewing time might be less than an hour. And in a game against a team called the "Quakers," you'll probably find that you're mostly just interested in the highlights anyway.

But if it pleases you, by all means, enjoy the forty-point drubbing in a game that has no bearings on a shot at a conference championship. The more virile among us will be spending our Saturday afternoon with a game that has some implications.


Scholar: Before we go any further with this debate, we should probably work on your reading comprehension. I never said I'd be watching the Maryland game during the commercial breaks of the Penn game. I said I'd watch the basketball game live, followed by the football game on DVR.

What Butch Davis said after Carolina's win over Georgia Tech.
What Butch Davis wanted to say after Carolina's win over Georgia Tech.


Obviously we were thrilled to win the game. I start almost every press conference after a win with this same sentence. It's true--just go back and check the records. This is the first time our football team has played an offense like Georgia Tech, and trust me before the game, you have no idea what could happen. I'm glad that we don't have to play against an offense like that very often. It can be hard for the fans to stay awake--especially at a noon kickoff. As I said throughout last week and this week, the buzz words were assignment football and with the exception of one big, long run near the end of the ball game I was very, very pleased with our defense. Did you hear me yelling "Bruuuuuuuuuuce" on the sidelines? Good times.

On the running game:

I thought Shaun Draughn and Ryan Houston were equally effective and a big part of the game being able to run the football, move the chains, make some first downs, punish the defense a little bit and punch it in. I kinda feel bad for Shaun, actually. He has to do all of the work up and down the field while Ryan sits over there drinking orange juice or something on the sidelines until we get inside the ten yard line. Then Ryan goes in and scores. Is it fair? No. Does anyone care? Maybe Shaun's parents--but they're probably fine with it too. Certainly the running backs are part of it, but the offensive line, Richard Quinn, Bobby Rome...you've got to give them certainly some credit. Remember how bad all of you thought our offensive line was at the beginning of the season? Well, they're sure playing some hairy-chested football now, aren't they?

On Hakeem Nicks:

He loves to compete. He loves the fact that no one in this league can compete with him. He loves to play. He likes playing now more than he liked playing for John Bunting. Just sayin'. What the fans and the media see on Saturday is just a minor glimpse into what we see during the week. Every single day during practice, he runs his routes like that, he makes circus catches. He's a great leader. You do realize that there's no chance that he returns after this season, correct? I heard a rumor that some people out there think he might stay for his senior year. Haha. Good luck with that.

On wearing navy uniforms:

At this school, we will always be Carolina blue. Dick Baddle, our athletic director, told me to say that.
There will never be a question about the color of the uniforms. Mister Battar told me to say that too.
Maybe once a year we'll have a little bit of diversity. Dick Bannour is not opposed to diversity. The recruits love it, the players love it, it probably makes Nike happy. And as long as all of those people are happy, Mister Dick Ballance, our athletic director, is happy too.

North Carolina’s bye week last weekend couldn’t have come at a better time. It allowed the Heels to get some much needed rest after what has to this point been a grueling 2008 campaign. Not only that, but due to some pretty embarrassing gaffes by their opponents, Carolina was able to move up in the polls without having to take the field. The most recent data gathered by the Associated Press shows that the Heels are now 19th in the rankings (margin of error +/- 4 positions) and boast a solid approval rating among supporters.

The Heels were also able to use the off-week to prepare for Georgia Tech’s unique (read: tricky to defend) offensive style. The Yellow Jackets, much like Barack Obama, have a strong ground game, largely due to the use of the triple option. The Ramblin’ Wreck average 242.3 rushing yards per game. Butch Davis plans to redistribute some of those running yards from the Jackets to the Tar Heels this Saturday. On the other hand, Tech only averages a mere 108.7 passing yards per game, which is only slightly more than Hakeem Nicks racks up in a typical quarter of action.

Saturday’s game will be played in Kenan Stadium with fans surrounding the teams on three sides and one end zone remaining open. Georgia Tech had requested that the game be played in more of a “town hall” type format, with fans allowed to call plays from their seats. When the North Carolina administration would only agree to this if fans were also given whistles and allowed to call penalties, the Jackets flip flopped and decided it was best to go with the large arena format.

While this particular contest will not decide the winner of the ACC’s Coastal Division, the loser is virtually assured of being eliminated from contention. Like every other team in the Coastal Division (except Duke), the Heels and Jackets each have two losses a piece – with both losing to Virginia and Virginia Tech. Whichever candidate for Division Champion emerges victorious Saturday will still have high hopes for heading to Tampa for the ACC Championship game.

While a potential ACC Championship berth is probably the biggest initiative on the ballot this Saturday, there are other contests further down the list which shouldn’t be overlooked. For one, there is the ACC Coach of the Year race. Butch Davis, in only his second season, has guided the Tar Heels to a 6-2 record and has them playing meaningful football in November for the first time in about a decade. Meanwhile, Paul Johnson is in just his first season as head coach of the Jackets, but has them ranked and commanding respect from their opponents. Whichever coach leads their team to victory Saturday may also wrap up Coach of the Year honors in the process.

One of the more hot-button and divisive topics that will be decided on Saturday is actually a local issue that centers around what sport is more important in Chapel Hill – football or basketball? Kickoff Saturday is at noon, but at 5:30 the Carolina basketball team will play its first (and only) exhibition game of the year. If fans stay in their seats until the final second ticks off the clock in Kenan on Saturday, regardless of the score, it’ll be a major victory for all parties. It won’t mean football has become more important than basketball, but it will serve as valid evidence that the two sports are at least close to equal. But if fans roll out of Kenan at the conclusion of the third quarter just to wait in line outside the Dean Dome for a good seat to watch the Heels destroy UNC-Pembroke, everyone loses. Butch Davis will almost assuredly quit on the spot, and no one wants that. The only way to avoid that catastrophe will be through a truly bipartisan effort where fans of both sports stay in Kenan until the game ends.

Since Saturday is Homecoming, there is also an election for Homecoming King and Queen. Don’t ask Carolina Water Cooler who is running nor what their positions are. We didn’t do our civic duty by voting for that stuff when were attending Carolina, and we certainly aren’t keeping up with who the most popular people on campus are now that we’ve graduated.

Kickoff is at noon, so grab a breakfast burrito and be in your seat at least 30 minutes prior to kickoff ready to rock the vote (whatever that even means).

Here at Carolina Water Cooler, we receive all sorts of interesting emails every week. Often, those emails are somehow related to the content on our website. Occasionally, those emails are about...well...other things. Perhaps you'll enjoy the following "business" deal...

Hello My Name is Delbin Astrin contacting you for your products that I will like to purchase *Water Coolers* Kindly advise me on the types you have in stock and your method of payment . I will therefore want to pay with my Credit Card as soon as product list and confirmation of my payment is accepted.

Best Regards

Richard

_____________________________________________

Hello Delbin/Richard,

We have 3 different types of *Water Coolers* in stock, which range quite a bit in price. It all depends on what you are in the market for.

# The first type is your standard pitcher (easily stored in your refrigerator). These are inexpensive and typically run around $35 (plus shipping and handling) depending on the brand we have in stock at the time of your order. Filters must be re-ordered every 3 months through our website or your water will begin to have a urine tint to it.

# The second type is your sporting event cooler - like you see on the sidelines of youth soccer games. These cost a little more ($60 plus shipping and handling), but you never have to re-order filters (because the water isn't filtered) and the only time you get the urine tint is if you actually urinate in the cooler.

# The third option is the large water dispenser...it filters, it heats, it cools, and sometimes it even slices and dices! This is the most expensive option ($200) and cannot be shipped to anywhere but South Africa - and we don't sell to people that live in South Africa because earlier this year we won their email lottery and any sales we have in that country are now taxed in the 175% tax bracket.

Please let me know if you'd like any more information.

Sincerely,
Carolina Water Cooler

______________________________________________

Thank you very much for your reply and below are the information you need before you proceed with my order,i need 10pcs of large water dispenser and 10pcs of sporting event cooler,10pcs of standard pitcher  Kindly give me the total price of the units including taxes before i proceed with payment could you please give me the shipping rate.

Regards

_______________________________________________


Delbin,

That is a very large order!  Because it's so large, we may have to place an order with our supplier to fill the entire order.  It will probably take us 3 days to get in the shipment of the 10 pieces of standard pitcher and 10 pieces of sporting event cooler.  After that, we can ship these items to you.

For the standard pitcher, the charge will be $35 each for 10 pitchers, which totals $350.  For the event cooler pitcher, the charge will be $60 each for 10 coolers, which totals $600.  That's a total of $950, but because you are ordering in bulk and you seem like a nice guy, we'll make it an even $1000.

We must then add shipping costs - before I can tell you how much we will charge for shipping, I will need your shipping address.

As for the large water dispenser, they are $200 each for 10 dispensers, which totals $2000.  As stated in my previous email, these cannot be shipped and must be picked up directly from us.

Also, with such a large order, I must inform you that these coolers are not labeled for individual resale.  These are strictly for personal use. You are not ordering on behalf of a company with the intention of reselling the coolers at a profit, are you?

Thanks for your interest,
Carolina Water Cooler

________________________________________________

Dear Sir,

Thank you very much for the time and patient you had with me regarding this order and your patient is highly appreciated .However i will like to recommend you to a freight company that i want to use for the pickup of the order I dont want you to ship the order for me ,so below is their contact details just contact them now and get back to me with what they emailed you with and i mean the shipping quote. You have to put an attention on the subject as (shipping Quote needed) with that they will get back to you urgently so i will be waiting for your email after you hear back from them.

Company Name : custom Shippings
Contact Name:Zundis
Contact Email: bzundis@yahoo.com

Details they will require before the give the quote.

(1)Pickup Location Address, weight and quantity of Mechandise you want to ship.
(2)Delivery address  Below it is .

PO Box 3984 Dreggen
N-5035 Bergen
Postboks 144 N-1662
Norway

As soon as you contact them and when you hear back from them email me at your ealiest convinience so that we can proceed on with the order from there then i will make the payment as well .
Counting to your prompt response .
Delbin Astrin

_____________________________________

Delbin,

Regretfully I must inform you that our coolers can only be shipped via UPS due to a contract we have with our supplier, so this transaction must be terminated effective immediately.

It is also with deep sadness that I must tell you that recently one of my co-workers shipped 1000 of our most expensive coolers to an individual in Australia without receiving payment.  Before we could collect the monies due, the individual died, and now my company has gone bankrupt.

As of this morning, my company has gone out of business, and I am unemployed.

I am truly sorry we cannot fill your order.  America's economy is in horrible shape, so perhaps you should look for a cooler supplier in Norway.

I wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Thanks,
Carolina Water Cooler

___________________________________________

thanks one again for your quick reply and cooperation so far i called the shipping company i told you to contact and they told me they have not had from you could you please tell me of explain to me the reason why you did not contact them please try as much for me and contact me as much as possible.

Regards,

Delbin.

__________________________________________

Clearly this guy doesn't get it. Perhaps you'd like to contact him yourself with a business proposition of your own. In fact, we encourage you to do so.

delbinastrin@gmail.com

Good luck.

Dear Ronald,

On behalf of the University of North Carolina, its fans, players, coaches, and boosters, Carolina Water Cooler would like to apologize for the vitriol that’s been spewed in your general direction over the last several weeks. We’re truly sorry for screaming at you during games (from our seats in Kenan or from our sofas at home), any emails sent to the league office demanding that you be fired immediately, and any letters laced with anthrax sent to your home.

You’re so humble and unassuming, you probably haven’t even noticed what’s been going on around you. But we can assure you that there has been palpable hostility in the air during games you’ve recently worked. Little old grandmas who can’t tell the difference between Marvin Austin and Trase Jones have berated you from the stands in ways that would make a sailor blush.

It’s really all been one gigantic misunderstanding, and we accept full responsibility for the confusion. You see, at first glance, someone watching you officiate recent Carolina games would get the impression that you and your crew despise the Tar Heels and/or are completely incompetent. But upon further review, it’s apparent to us that you are so far ahead of your time you’ll never be appreciated until you’re gone. You are the George W. Bush of ACC referees.

For instance, when Hakeem Nicks was called out of bounds at the one yard line against Boston College Saturday, it was as if you’d already told your crew that in a few years the width of the field is going to be contracted in an effort to combat record-breaking high scores caused by more athletic offenses. When that occurs, we’ll go back and watch a replay of this week’s game and see Nicks clearly remain inbounds en route to a touchdown and say “yes, but on today’s field he’d have been out.” Being ahead of your time, you already know that.

Or in the second half, when Brooks Foster made a catch but was ruled down immediately after the reception. Yes, at the time you claimed it was because his knee was down (and congrats on your 20/5 vision, by the way – not many officials have the eagle eyes necessary to make that call from 50 yards away), but we know it’s because in the future if a receiver doesn’t catch the ball in stride, he will be ruled down at the point of the catch. You were booed mercilessly at the time, but highlights of catches exactly like Foster’s will be shown in the meetings when this rule change is announced as perfect examples of when to whistle a play dead. Just another example of you being ahead of the curve.

Like we said, your tendency to shy away from the spotlight and let the players take center stage in the game has probably allowed you to do your job without even noticing the rage coming from the stands. But we can assure you it’s been there, and we apologize again.

See you next time we play on Raycom (you’re so lucky – that’s where the ACC always puts the best officials).

Your pals,

Dave & Stillman

Cc: All other ACC schools, who are also misinformed in their thinking that Ron Cherry is completely inept.

If one weather-delayed game in Kenan Stadium this season just wasn’t enough for you, then you’re in luck… Mother Nature has another one planned for this Saturday! And no more of that non-enjoyable (sorry, Microsoft Word says “unenjoyable” isn’t a word, so non-enjoyable was the logical choice to remove the red squiggly line) summer-esque rain, either. No, this will be that pleasant, cold rain that’s always so fun to sit in for three and a half hours. Are you excited yet?

If not, just think about the memories this game will bring back to your mind. You can’t think of Boston College and not think of the Continental Tire Bowl, the last bowl game that the Heels played in. It’s hard not to smile when you think back just four short years to Carolina’s 37-24 loss in everyone’s favorite vacation destination – Charlotte, North Cackalack.

But the teams that will meet on Saturday are different teams than met back then. In the Heels’ case, they are clearly better now than they were in 2004. The coaching staff has improved (read: changed), the wide receivers are more talented, and the running game is…worse. But did we mention the coaching staff changed?

In the case of Boston College, they are, at a minimum, more overrated this season than they were during that fateful Tire Bowl matchup. They enter Saturday’s game ranked 23rd in the AP poll, following a moderately impressive victory over Virginia Tech last week. But, when your other four wins are against Kent State, UCF, Rhode Island, and N.C. State, 5-1 doesn’t sound quite as good as you might expect. And who knew Rhode Island had a football team? Carolina Water Cooler thought they’d disbanded all athletic programs after their 112-67 loss to the Heels in the 1993 NCAA Tournament.

Speaking of basketball, Late Night with Roy is this Friday night and festivities will commence at 5 p.m. with what’s sure to be a thrilling volleyball game between the Heels and whoever they’re playing. If you’re one of the millions of readers who took part in our Post-Columbus Day Special,