Louisville Head Coach Dan McDonnell

Opening remarks…
First of all, congratulations to North Carolina. I don’t particularly mean that, but it’s the polite thing to say. They are a very good team. Better than us, I guess, and we’re pretty good. You don't really prepare for a season-ending speech when things are going so well for you. But I organized a few words in coherent manner on a sheet of paper last night, just in case our season did end today. It’s not a “speech,” though, just some things I wanted to make sure to remember to say when we lost our last game. Anyway, here goes… What a great season for the University of Louisville. Man were we good. This team will go down in history as one of the greatest baseball teams in Louisville history. And by “one of the greatest,” I mean “the greatest.” What a special season we have had. It’s not every year the U of L comes to Omaha. In fact, until now, it’s not been any year. I told my players that the season is going to end and you want it to end in Omaha. Ideally you want it to end with a win in Omaha, but I digress.

About only tallying three hits…
You realize anything can happen when you lose the first game 15-10. But after losing 15-10, figuring out how to get more hits was the least of my worries. It was a tough day on the hitters. Today, I mean. Not the game we lost 15 -10. That one was more difficult on the pitchers. We had a couple of balls hit hard but they just weren't going out for us. Well, one of them did. But just the one. I credit UNC for getting it done today. Also the wind for keeping our balls in play.

North Carolina Head Coach Mike Fox

Opening remarks…
First of all, congratulations to Dan (McDonnell) and Louisville for a terrific season. I’m sorry we were the ones that had to end it. Ok, I’m not really sorry. And congratulations to our team on 55 wins, which is the most in the history of our program. And more wins than Duke football has had in the past decade. We were happy to get that one and survive. Do you realize our starting pitcher went more than twice as many innings today as our last two starting pitchers combined? We had to play a lot differently today, obviously with the wind. Well, not a lot differently…hit, run, throw. It’s pretty fundamental. Pitching and defense is the name of the game and we got all those today. Sunday? Not so much. We're happy to be able to play tomorrow. We won’t give up 14 runs to Rice again, I can guarantee you that.

About playing Rice again…
We hope it is a different game than it was the first time. Because if it’s the same game we’ll be in a lot of trouble. And also in some sort of time warp. We have to be better offensively than we were today. And we have to be better defensively than we were on Sunday. We're happy to be playing tomorrow. Have I said that already? I may have, but we’re just tickled pink to still be alive. We'll have to play well. At the very least, we’ll have to not play poorly.

Happy Father's Day to all. Well, not really to all, mostly just to the fathers out there. Now let's just hope that the Diamond Heels can show the Owls of Rice who their daddy is.

6:58 - Hopefully Tiger can quickly do something amazing or screw up horribly so that I'm not torn between the U.S. Open and the College World Series. Just imagine how tough this is on Ol' Roy. He's probably at Rosenblatt Stadium watching the Open on his Blackberry.

7:07 - We're underway in Omaha. Hopefully Alex White doesn't give me an ulcer like he's been doing recently.

7:12 - An easy first inning for White. Looks promising. Not so promising for Tiger...he'll have to birdie the 18th hole at Oakmont. Good luck with that.

7:16 - I never really thought about this until now, but what's up with all of the similar names on our team? Flack and Fronk. Fedroff and Federowicz. Woodard, Wooten and Warren. Putkonen and... ok there's only one Putkonen.

7:20 - Surely there's a way that we could get Sean McDonough to broadcast more ACC games during basketball season instead of all that Big East stuff that he does. He's so much easier to listen to than Billy Packer or Mike Patrick or Dick Vitale or Len Elmore. Of course, a cat stuck in an oscillating fan is also more pleasant than those guys.

7:27 - Great work by ESPN with their win probability statistic. How else would we be able to figure out that both teams still have exactly a 50% chance of winning after a scoreless first inning?

7:31 - Angel Cabrera is your U.S. Open champion. And the Owls now lead 1-0. These two events have virtually nothing to do with each other.

7:44 - Is it me, or is this the 14th consecutive game where we've started out in a 4-0 hole? Danford in for White.

7:54 - Text from Dave, after the Owls put up six in the 2nd inning: "You think they'll let me go get rocked for 1 1/3 next game so I can say I pitched in the College World Series?" I see his point.

8:03 - They just showed the replay of Mike Fox's "difference of opinion" with the umpire from last inning. McDonough commends Coach on his ability to have a good tirade without the cussing. Owls now lead 7-1, so rest assured there's somebody cussing somewhere.

8:11 - Text from friend-of-the-site Dan: "It's like Invasion of the flippin' Body Snatchers." Well alright.

8:15 - Based on the fact that they haven't shown Roy on TV 26 times, I'm going to assume that he's not there.

8:28 - Wayne Graham is old.

8:32 - The old guy's team is killing us. 9-2.

8:43 - If we were to come back at this point, Rice would be guilty of a bigger choke than our last 12 minutes against Georgetown in the Elite 8. Of course, such a choke by the Owls wouldn't make me feel any better about that March debacle.

8:56 - In what was clearly an attempt to lighten the mood of this dreary game, Reece Holbrook just picked his nose on national television. That kid is such a rock star.

8:57 - I stand corrected, Roy is in attendance. Maybe they only like to show him when we're winning.

9:06 - Somehow our win probability has gone up to 4%. That's right, gone up to 4%.

9:22 - Well, after tonight, at least a lot of our guys will be able to say they pitched in the College World Series.

9:26 - Win probability back down to 1%. I hate that thing.

9:27 - Clearly Sean McDonough and I are on the same wavelength. He just made the exact same comment about a lot of guys being able to say they pitched in the College World Series. I've always like that guy.

9:35 - Text from Dave: "If I fly out now, I may get there in time to close this one out." While that probably wouldn't help matters, it would probably be good publicity for Carolina Water Cooler if he were to do that.

9:48 - I'd really feel a lot better about our chances of winning this game if we were up 12-4 instead of down 12-4.

9:52 - Dave says balks are stupid. He's always been a bit of a whiner.

10:09 - Mercifully, this one is over. Final damage: 14-4. I've had some pretty unsuccessful views from the couch before, but this one is right up there.

In order to advance to the Championship Series of the 2007 College World Series in Omaha, North Carolina will have to emerge victorious from their half of the bracket, which contains the following teams…

Mississippi State

We can all agree that it’s dangerous to defame an institution that a Hansbrough attends. This has never been an issue in the past, as Tyler Hansbrough attends the University of North Carolina, a school which receives the full backing of Carolina Water Cooler. But with Ben Hansbrough currently playing basketball at Mississippi State, we’re going to watch what we say about the Bulldogs.

Mississippi State University is located in the booming metropolis of Starkville, Mississippi. While there’s not much to Starkville besides the University community, anything that conjures up images of Melissa Stark can’t be that bad.

Apparently half of the municipalities in Mississippi are named after European cities. The Bulldogs’ roster lists players from Oxford, Heidelberg, and Carthage. Not to mention Venice, Florida and Birmingham, Alabama. That’s an impressive collection of prestigious sounding hometowns.

The Bulldogs have been ACC killers this postseason, defeating Florida State twice (in Tallahassee) and sweeping Clemson in the Super Regional. In the regular season, however, MSU lost quite a few head-scratchers. They fell to Winthrop and Dallas Baptist, lost both games in a two game set with Austin Peay State, and were hammered 20 to 3 by the Heels’ Super Regional opponent, South Carolina.

With only one player in double digits in the home run column, you can expect the Bulldogs to try to base hit you to death. You can also anticipate the announcers saying “small ball” at least four times per half inning. Carolina’s match-up against the ‘Dawgs will begin Friday night at 7 p.m. EST.

Rice

Like Carolina, the Owls are making their second straight College World Series appearance. Omaha is familiar territory for the school, which also participated in the event in 1997, 1999, 2002, and 2003 (when it won its first-ever team NCAA title in any sport). They’re undefeated in NCAA tournament play this season and have won 35 of their last 37 games. That’s strong. In hindsight, they probably should have gotten the top national seed instead of those choke artists from Vanderbilt.

The only team to take a three game series from Owls this season is another College World Series contestant, Cal State Fullerton. They jumped on the Owls like white on Rice in the series opener, winning the first contest 10 to 3. However, the Owls were able to contain the powerhouse of Dallas Baptist, posting a 7 to 1 win over the same Patriots that defeated Mississippi State.

Slugger Lance Berkman and pitcher Norm Charlton both donned the…whatever colors Rice dons. But they aren’t the most famous alumni to come out of the school in…wherever Rice is located. That distinction arguably goes to the current (at least at the time of this writing) U.S. Attorney General, Alberto Gonzales.

If you’d like to send a message congratulating the Owls on making it to the CWS, click here and scroll to the bottom of the page. As far as we know, it’s alright to say “Good luck in Omaha except when you’re playing North Carolina,” but we imagine the University would frown upon threatening to eat the baseball team as some sort of side dish.

Louisville

The University of Louisville, or the “U of L” as the locals say, is making its first trip to the College World Series, courtesy of a 20 to 2 drubbing of Oklahoma State. After starting the season just 9-7, few people would have expected the Cardinals to wind up in Omaha. But that’s what happened. So you can bet that during this off-season, fans of Southern Illinois, Stetson, Illinois State, Kent State, and Evansville will probably point out that their team beat a school that played in the CWS.

This isn’t the first time in recent history that the Heels and Cardinals have wound up on a sport’s biggest stage at the same time. In 2005, both schools made the Final Four. You’d forgotten Louisville had made it to St. Louis, hadn’t you? If there’d been a pop quiz at the start of this column asking you to name the four teams in the 2005 Final Four, you’d have said “ Carolina, Illinois, Michigan State, and…somebody else.” It’s ok, you can admit it. Just like the 2005 Final Four, no one expects Louisville to win it all in Omaha. And with a little luck, just like the 2005 Final Four, the Heels will be the last team left standing at this event.

Some of the Cardinals’ accomplishments over the past few weeks have been overshadowed by a reporter from the Louisville Courier-Journal who was ejected from the press box for blogging during a Super Regional game. As an official media outlet (more or less), Carolina Water Cooler would love to side with the criminal blogger, Brian Bennett, in this situation. However, Mr. Bennett lost our support when he began his defense by saying, “I started covering the U of L baseball team almost two weeks ago.” Almost two weeks ago, eh? Bandwagon reporting at its finest.

For those of you who are worried, Carolina Water Cooler’s “View from the Press Box” is safe from any NCAA reprimand because it is posted to the internet all at once after the game has concluded. However, we would like to point out that our “View from the…” features have been a driving force in the now nationwide blogging phenomenon.

Since Rosenblatt Stadium is located in Omaha, which operates on Central time, be sure to confirm the time zone being used when you hear what time a game is starting. That seems like common sense, but if you’re not careful, you will turn your television on an hour too early. Not that we’re speaking from experience or anything.

Over the past year, Carolina Water Cooler has taken and taken and taken from the community. We’ve taken the time of employees who were supposed to be working but were instead reading what Roy Williams wanted to say in his press conferences. We’ve taken caption contest submissions month after month. We’ve even taken criticism from people who aren’t Tar Heel fans. But no more! After nearly a year of freeloading, we recently decided it was high time we gave something back to society.

With thousands of worthy causes out there, we quickly realized that we could either give a penny to every single association, society, and institute in America – which wouldn’t really provide a benefit to any of them – or we could throw all our support behind a single organization. We opted for the latter choice. The question then became “which organization do we support?”

As a website that covers athletics at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, it made sense to choose an organization located in the greater Chapel Hill metropolitan area (some people refer to that geographic region as “ Orange County”). It also seemed logical to select an organization that members of the Tar Heel athletic family have chosen to get involved with. The final criterion, however, was the most difficult to meet. The organization had to have a golf tournament sponsored by a former Carolina basketball player and current ESPN analyst.

After sorting through all of the options, Volunteers for Youth received the coveted endorsement of Carolina Water Cooler. Volunteers for Youth is a program that matches young people in Orange County with caring adults who build a positive relationship with the youth, helping them to cultivate their strengths and develop the ability to make responsible choices.

On Monday, October 8th, the Hubert Davis Charity Golf Tournament benefiting Volunteers for Youth will be held at Finley Golf Course. There are several ways for you to take part in this exciting event. If you’re a golfer, you can register to play for $150. That fee includes a golf cart (which you have to give back at the end of the day), lunch, and a goody bag (which you can keep). If your golf skills aren’t up to par, you can also make a donation or convince your boss to sponsor the event.

Additional information about the tournament can be found at the Volunteers for Youth website, which, in addition to being linked earlier in this sentence, can also be quickly accessed by clicking the logo in the upper left corner of most every page on Carolina Water Cooler. For additional information, please contact Scott Dreyer at 919-967-4511 or sad@volunteersforyouth.org.

You’ll definitely want to take part in the first ever event endorsed by both Carolina Water Cooler and Hubert Davis, so make today the day that you decide to give back to the community.

Here we are (myself and the wife, Kristin) on the one year anniversary of Carolina Water Cooler for a Super Regional style View from the Couch. Wouldn't it be great if, on this momentous occasion, Carolina Water Cooler's present to you was a repeat visit to Omaha for the baseball team? A victory over the Gamecocks will make that a reality. For the record, since it's our anniversary, we should really be the one's receiving the gifts.

7:05 - Stillman has been at the Bosh since about 5 p.m. Apparently the University feeds the media quite well, so he made sure to be there in time to cash in on the free food. In between bites, he managed to send me two text messages. The first was a picture of a guy in khaki pants with what appeared to be chicken pox on them. Turns out, they were tiny Gamecocks. Hideous. The second was to tell me that a "lady just nicked her own chin with a pocket sized fan." He didn't say if there was any blood involved.

7:19 - A one out double makes it one to zip, Chickens. Speaking of chicken, that's what I had for dinner tonight.

7:23 - Kristin just asked why ESPN's scoreboard says "UNC" and "S CAR" instead of "USC," but quickly said "oh, because USC is Southern Cal." And this is from someone who harbors no ill-will toward the Gamecocks and has no idea of their inferiority complex when it comes to how people refer to them.

7:26 - Two to nothing, Chickens, and Danford is up in the bullpen. Not promising, since we've only gotten one out in the entire game.

7:32 - South Carolina just screwed up running the bases and got picked off at third, mercifully ending a three run first inning.

7:33 - Text from Stillman: "Why does the first inning hate me?" This makes me feel better, because for a second I thought it was me the first inning hated.

7:45 - South Carolina's third baseman just decided to throw it to the right fielder in an attempt to get a force out at second. Not surprisingly, that didn't pan out, and the Heels cut it to three to two.

7:56 - Stillman just texted to say that Wes Miller and Cam Sexton are present and accounted for at the Bosh, and that Cam Sexton's watch is large enough to be mistaken for some sort of nuclear device. Stillman is obviously unaware that one of the goals of modern technology is to make things like nuclear weapons smaller, not larger.

8:00 - I like how the announcers keep saying "he hasn't had a hit this series" or "he has yet to pitch this series," as though the series has been so long. It's only in its 12th inning.

8:07 - I don't think Stillman has seen a single pitch in this inning. Since it started, he's sent three texts updating me on who's in attendance. Danny Green, Deon Thompson, Eric Hoots, a guy that used to work at Chase Dining Hall, and, apparently, the entire cast of Ocean's Thirteen. Not sure how they scored tickets. Oh, three to two headed to the bottom of the third.

8:10 - Wow, that ball got out of the park in a hurry. And it put the Chickens up four to two.

8:18 - Amazingly enough, Stillman failed to text and let me know that Roy Williams is watching the game. I had to get that little tidbit from ESPN.

8:26 - Well, after a balk which contributed to another Gamecock run, Alex White's night is over. Pitching-wise anyway. I imagine he'll stay to watch the rest of the game.

8:30 - When the light hits him just right, Matt Danford looks kind of like Stillman (no offense, Matt).

8:36 - Well, it wouldn't be a game in this Super Regional if the Heels didn't trail by at least six runs. Of course, those last two Chicken runs came on a hit that most of Boshamer Stadium thought was fowl, but the umpire seemed to think was fair.

9:00 - Just checking in. Nothing to report here.

9:15 - Dave Odom is sitting beside Roy Williams. I guess Dave's been in North Carolina all week and hasn't gotten our letter to him yet, which explains his lack of a response.

9:23 - No matter how many times the term "balk" is explained to me, I don't think I'll ever be able to correctly discern when it has occurred.

9:24 - Two outs. Translation: the Heels just scored again, cutting it to eight to five.

9:27 - It just thundered loudly outside my window. I live not five miles from Boshamer Stadium. That’s not promising.

9:28 – As I suspected, we’ve returned from a commercial break to discover that the game’s in a mandatory 30-minute delay. This will be the longest seventh inning stretch ever. So…I'll be back in 30 minutes.

9:56 - Apparently every time lightning strikes the 30 minute count starts over. It's sort of like "every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings," except completely different. The point is, it's still lightning, so don't expect the game to resume anytime soon.

10:52 - After all this waiting, they've decided to resume the game at 2:36 tomorrow afternoon. Seems like it would have saved everyone a lot of time if they'd decided that an hour and a half ago. But, they didn't…so I'll be back tomorrow. At exactly 2:36.

2:36 - Now spanning over 19 hours, this qualifies as the longest View from the Couch in Carolina Water Cooler history. So long, in fact, that it's not even our one year anniversary anymore. Sorry we didn't deliver on that Omaha present.

2:41 - It's a whole new ball game. Rob Wooten just retired the side in order. Pretty sure the Heels didn't do that at all last night.

2:43 - An update on the UC Irvine - Wichita State game reveals two things. First, Wichita State has an artificial turf infield but real grass in the outfield. It’s not pretty. Second, UC Irvine's nickname is "Anteaters." Talk about striking fear into your opponents. Are there any universities with the nickname "Ants?"

2:53 - Got one run in the eighth, but we're going to need two more in the ninth.

2:58 - Why do we keep trying to pick off a runner who appears to be slower than Damion Grant?

3:07 - Two outs in the ninth. It's now or never.

3:08 - Never. Game 3 tonight at 7 o'clock.

June 9, 2006 – Carolina Water Cooler begins. Dave and Stillman co-write a tear-jerking article reflecting on the 40-point loss to Maryland from several years back and informing readers that this site was developed for people who were terribly depressed after that game. It is, perhaps, the final serious article ever posted on Carolina Water Cooler. No one could have predicted how far from the original intent of the site this project would stray.

June 20, 2006 – It took eleven days, but the boys finally got in their first jab at the N.C. State Wolfpack. Amazingly enough, the inspiration for the insult came following the Carolina Hurricanes being crowned Stanley Cup Champions.

July 5, 2006 – The duo realizes they’ve picked the worst possible time to start a website covering Carolina athletics. Football season is still nearly two months away.

August 1, 2006 – Less than two months after starting a website with the goal of driving all competitors out of business, Carolina Water Cooler partners with Inside Carolina, proving there’s truth in the oft repeated phrase: “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”

August 9, 2006 – Dave pens a touching column informing all Carolina football fans that this is the year that the Heels are finally going to become one of college football’s elite teams.

August 28, 2006 – Carolina Water Cooler Radio becomes a reality as the first ever show is posted online. You’d never know it now, but the original purpose of this website was to have a place to store a radio show hosted by Stillman and Dave.

September 1, 2006 – Stillman writes one of the most popular Carolina Water Cooler pieces of all time: 'Twas the Night Before Football. Of course, it helped that he had a template to work with.

October 2, 2006 – Dave writes a spoof of the aforementioned “T’was the Night Before Football” entitled 'Twas a Month into Football. This one wasn’t quite as popular, even though he had two templates to work with.

December 3, 2006 – After less than six months of existence, Carolina Water Cooler covers its first North Carolina National Championship, as the Tar Heel women’s soccer team brings home the trophy for the 18th time.

December 18, 2006 – Dick Vitale joins the staff of Carolina Water Cooler. In actuality, Brian Allen, the world’s best Dick Vitale parody writer joins the staff, but a lot of readers truly don’t know the difference.

February 19, 2007 – All good things must come to an end. Fortunately for our listeners, all not-so-good things must also come to an end. So as quickly as it appeared, Carolina Water Cooler radio vanished.

March 5, 2007 – In response to the “unfortunate” breaking of Tyler Hansbrough’s nose, Stillman writes a shocking exposé chronicling all the times Coach K’s starters had been on the floor at the end of a game that was essentially over.

March 25, 2007 – For the first time in Carolina Water Cooler history, the North Carolina men’s basketball team loses in the NCAA Tournament. We had a good run (three games), but we just couldn’t overcome youth, inexperience, and the worst game-ending shooting performance in the history of basketball.

April 23, 2007 – Brandan Wright announces his intention to declare for the NBA draft. Luckily, Carolina Water Cooler was able to convince Tyler Hansbrough and Ty Lawson to stick around for another season.

May 27, 2007 – Readers rejoice in a momentary reprieve from the long, long off season as Carolina Water Cooler provides extensive coverage of the ACC baseball championship game. The Heels emerge victorious.

June 9, 2007 – Dave and Stillman prove all the doubters wrong by keeping a website alive for an entire year. With a year of experience and reader feedback under their collective belts, the future is bright for Carolina Water Cooler. Thanks for visiting, everyone!

Only seven of the sixteen number one seeds in the NCAA Tournament survived the first weekend of play. North Carolina and South Carolina, however, are two of those seven, and will square off against one another in Chapel Hill in a best-of-three series that begins Friday night at 7 p.m. Game two will be Saturday at 7 p.m., and, if necessary, the third game will be played on Sunday at – you guessed it – 7 p.m.

The two teams have had what can only be referred to as one-sided results in recent postseason play. What follows is a brief synopsis of the recent tournament meetings between the two squads. Tar Heel fans, you may want to avert your eyes:

2004 Regional

South Carolina – 5, North Carolina – 2

South Carolina – 7, North Carolina – 6

2003 Super Regional

South Carolina – 5, North Carolina – 4

South Carolina – 14, North Carolina – 4

2002 Regional

South Carolina – 9, North Carolina – 6

North Carolina – 8, South Carolina – 4 (Hooray!)

South Carolina – 3, North Carolina – 1

For those of you who don’t care to do the math, that’s a lot of wins for the Gamecocks, and, hang on, let me double check my tally mark…oh, right, just the one tally mark for the Heels. Suffice it to say, this year’s squad has somewhat of an ax to grind against its neighbors to the south.

In fairness, unlike this season (where the Heels are the favorites based on national seeding), no one expected North Carolina to win any of those series. South Carolina, after all, is a lot like ECU – not good at much of anything except baseball. And, truthfully, they’re not even superb at that. Seriously, if you’re only going to compete in one sport, the least you could do is win one National Championship in it. Just one.

While the Gamecocks haven’t won any College World Series championships, its worth noting that Wikipedia lists the teams with the most titles, and tops on the list is USC – which of course stands for the University of Southern California. And lest Gamecock fans argue that South Carolina is also known as USC, scroll up and take a gander at the 1975, 1977, and 2002 runners-up. “ South Carolina.” Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. During football season, keep an eye out for Carolina Water Cooler’s North Carolina vs. South Carolina preview, in which the “which school is the ‘real’ Carolina?” debate will finally be put to rest.

The South Carolina mascot is named “Cocky,” which, coincidentally, is a nickname given to a lot of Gamecock fans. In fact, some University officials in Columbia are even quite cocky. For instance, the school accepted postseason order forms from its fans ages ago, allowing them to go ahead and purchase Super Regional tickets. Of course, those tickets were for Super Regional games taking place at Sarge Frye Field, the home of the Gamecocks. Not sure if it was made clear in the first paragraph of this preview, but North Carolina is the home team this weekend, so fans who purchased those tickets had to have their money refunded.

Actual tickets to this weekend’s Super Regional sold out without ever going on sale. In a somewhat unorthodox manner, the North Carolina athletic department dispensed the tickets through a “private presale to groups closely associated with the Tar Heel baseball program.” That being the case, if you’re not “closely associated” with the program, you may want to consider purchasing your College World Series tickets in advance (not to be cocky or anything).

The University of North Carolina is one of sixteen host sites for the first round of the NCAA Baseball Tournament this weekend. It’s only the third time in program history the Heels will be a Regional host, but the second year in a row they’ve accomplished the feat. Carolina was also awarded the number three seed nationally, meaning that if they emerge victorious from the Regional this weekend, they’ll host a Super Regional the following weekend. In order to get through the regional, they’ll have to play at least two, and possibly all three, of the following teams…

Jacksonville (Fourth Seed)

Raise your hand if you knew this University existed. Jacksonville University? I’ve honestly never heard of it. I realize that I make this claim frequently. For instance, the bracket has just been released for March Madness, and I talk to someone who doesn’t follow college basketball all that closely and say “I’ve never even heard of Coppin State,” even though I know good and well they beat South Carolina as a 15 seed in 1997. But this time I mean it. I’ve never heard of this school. I had to look on the University’s official website to find out if it was located in North Carolina or Florida. For the record, it’s Florida – which is what I would have assumed were the rest of the region not made up of East Carolina, Western Carolina, and North Carolina.

While I was perusing the school’s site, I learned a few other things as well.. This is their baseball team’s twelfth trip to the NCAA Tournament (I’m pretty sure if the basketball team had made the Big Dance that many times, I’d have heard of this place). They’re members of the Atlantic Sun, a conference that also boasts powerhouses Florida Gulf Coast University, Kennesaw State, USC Upstate, and Stetson. Earlier this season, they defeated the University of Florida in Gainesville as well as Florida State, whom Jacksonville would have you believe was 23-0 at the time. The truth is, however, that the Seminoles had lost to the Philadelphia Phillies ten games prior to the Dolphin’s upset win.

The team is led by Pete Clifford’s .359 average, 14 home runs, and 59 RBI, and a pitching staff in which the five pitchers with the most starts all have ERAs under 4.00.

East Carolina (Second Seed)

If the folks in Greenville, North Carolina are good at just one thing (and that may be the case), it’s baseball. They may not consistently compete in football, and they may not ever compete in basketball, but their baseball team is making its eighth NCAA appearance in the last nine years, and 22nd appearance overall. They advanced to the conference championship game before falling 16-8 to Rice, the second best team in the country according to NCAA seeding.

The Pirates dropped two regular season games to the Heels earlier this year, 10-0 in Chapel Hill and 5-1 in Greenville. They are currently one win shy of 40 on the season, with only 21 losses. They aren’t overly impressive on offense, averaging more than a run per game less than North Carolina. On the other hand, the Pirates pitching staff has a team ERA of just 3.83, a mark that would almost rival Carolina’s 3.17 if they could get rid of Joe O’Malley’s (9.00) and Jeff Ostrander’s (7.79) marks. Also of note, Shane Matthews, who pitches out of the Pirates bullpen, played baseball with Stillman in second grade.

The Pirates are led by second year coach Billy Godwin, who was actually an assistant for Mike Fox at North Carolina Wesleyan College in 1989 and 1990. It’s unknown which of the two men was most responsible for the 1989 squad’s Division III National Championship, but the smart money is on Coach Fox.

Western Carolina (Third Seed)

The Western Carolina Catamounts earned just their second at-large bid to the NCAA Tournament in school history this season after posting a 40-18 record. They finished tied for first in the Southern Conference with the College of Charleston. After the pairings were announced, the entire team was invited to be the in-studio guest on an interactive Catamount sports talk show that airs on WWCU-FM, Power 90dot5. The name of the program? “In the Litterbox.” No kidding. “In the Litterbox.” Apparently “Down the Toilet” was already taken by a local plumber.

Leading the Catamounts into postseason play is 2007 Brooks Wallace College Player of the Year Finalist Kenny Smith. Based solely on skin color and no further research, Carolina Water Cooler is going on the assumption that the baseball playing Kenny Smith is in no way related to the Kenny Smith (a.k.a. “The Jet”). Five Catamounts have hit double digit home runs on the season, but Smith leads them all with 18. He also leads the team in RBI (79) and batting average (.396) – unless you count Rob DeVeney, who’s one for two on the season.

It’s worth pointing out that the Catamounts swept Wofford, the team North Carolina was originally slated to play against on Friday, in Spartanburg earlier this season. And they did so in impressive fashion, outscoring the Terriers 61-15 over the course of the three games. Kind of makes you wish Wofford was still in the Chapel Hill Regional, doesn’t it?

Tickets have already been swallowed up for this weekend's regional, but if you’re feeling bold, you can go ahead and purchase your College World Series tickets, which have been available for several weeks now. Of course, if you purchase tickets for Omaha in anticipation of the Heels advancing that far and then the nation’s three seed gets upset, it’s going to be all your fault.

Dear Pete,

Long time, no see, buddy! It’s been over a decade since your pal Coach K threw you under the bus and then, after making sure the bus had run you over, threw you on the same bus and sent you out of town. It certainly doesn’t seem like twelve years to us.

Of course, we aren’t the ones who had to move to Tennessee to take a job as an assistant at Vanderbilt. Nor did we subsequently change positions to become an assistant for the Vanderbilt women’s squad. We also didn’t proceed to move to Ohio to coach the Buckeyes’ lady post players. And we surely didn’t leave that position to become the Ohio State women’s basketball video coordinator. So the last twelve years may have passed a little more quickly for us than they did for you.

But those seemingly less than desirable jobs were really the only place you had to go after reaching the pinnacle of collegiate coaching during the 1994-1995 season. After holding the illustrious title of (interim) head coach for Duke University, there’s really no where to go but down. But hey, at least Coach K, with his generous spirit, allowed you to keep your record during that time instead of taking the credit for something he had nothing to do with. If not for your leadership skills, the Blue Devils would have undoubtedly gone 0-16 in conference play that season as opposed to 2-14.

Actually, we’ve been wondering if you’ve got any plans for the next few months. While there is still plenty to write about between now and the beginning of football season, we’ve both been battling fairly severe cases of carpal tunnel syndrome, which is making typing difficult. And, truthfully, we’re just exhausted from all the Carolina athletic coverage we’ve been providing over the last year. If you want to take over the task of creating content for Carolina Water Cooler, we could let you do so until we feel we can return (which probably won’t be until approximately September 1).

In all likelihood, you won’t have time to help us with that, though. We know you’ll spend a lot of time over the summer preparing to be the second most famous Pete that instructs at Pete Newell’s Big Man Camp. But just let us know if it’s something you’d be willing to try. We’d obviously be sure to expunge all of your articles from the archives once you left so people wouldn’t mistakenly think we’d written them.

Also, we’ve been meaning to start posting videos on the site, so if you’ve got any particularly interesting OSU women’s basketball clips that you coordinated, we’d be happy to share them with our readers.

We hope to see you return to the bench in Durham soon!

Stillman & Dave

It's been too long since our last View from the Couch. It's been too long partly because you, the reader, have been deprived of the privilege of reading a View…but mostly it's been too long because we, as Carolina fans, haven't had a Tar Heel athletic event to watch on television in ages. So let's get right to the ACC Baseball Championship.

1:00 - Do you know how you can tell that a conference tournament format is too confusing? When you sign on to the conference's website the morning of the championship game to find out who's playing and you read one article that says it'll be North Carolina vs. Clemson and another article that says it'll be North Carolina vs. Wake Forest. As it turns out, it's the second seeded Heels and eighth seeded Deacons, and the Clemson article was later corrected.

1:03 - First of all, I had no clue that Dan Bonner knew anything about baseball. Second of all, Dan Bonner looks younger now than he did ten years ago.

1:07 - Well, I won't be listening to the game on the radio while I watch…I just listened to Jones Angell describe the first foul ball of the game, went to the kitchen, drank a 20 ounce Sprite, went upstairs and took a shower, and got back downstairs in time to watch the play Jones had described before I left the room.

1:10 - In the time it took me to type the last entry, the Heels sent three batters to the plate and all three were retired. If baseball always moved at that speed it would only take about 54 minutes to play an entire game.

1:14 - Do you know how you can tell that a conference tournament format is too confusing? When the home team in the championship game is determined using a formula. What is this, the BCS?

1:18 - Wake Forest's Willy Fox just got hit by a pitch. Apparently this is a pretty common occurrence for him. He's a wily fox, that Willy Fox.

1:19 - Sigh. Pass ball. One to nothing Wake. In baseball, that's pretty much an insurmountable lead.

1:24 - What's the over/under on how many times the announcers confuse Tim Federowicz and Tim Fedroff today?

1:29 - Tim Fedroff looks kind of like Dewey Burke.

1:32 - Another Wake batter gets plunked. I think they're getting in the way on purpose. Cheaters.

1:42 - Why are so many ACC Tournaments and Championships being played in Florida now? As a side note, this View from the Couch almost came to you “Live from Jacksonville,” but I couldn't convince Stillman to drive from Fayetteville to Jacksonville, NC just so we could make that claim.

1:49 - Terrible throw to first! Garrett Gore almost got his head taken off when he was still five steps from the base. And a Federowicz base hit puts runners on first and second with one out.

1:52 - You'd never know it from listening to the announcers, but I heard somewhere that Wake's pitcher is recovering from Tommy John surgery.

1:54 - Time for Chad Flack to do his thing…

1:55 - Base hit, Flack. And we're tied at one apiece. And you thought a one run lead was insurmountable.

2:10 - Another Demon Deacon gets hit by a pitch. That's the first interesting thing that's happened in fifteen minutes. Ah, the beauty of baseball.

2:22 - I just now realized that we've got the ACC football champions facing off against the ACC basketball champions today. So this game is, in essence, a rubber match. Sort of.

2:30 - Top of the third and the Heels are finally threatening to score again. Runners on the corners with one out. All we have to do is avoid the double play.

2:34 - Not the prettiest non-bunt infield sacrifice (that's a technical term) I've ever seen, but Carolina now holds the insurmountable one run lead.

2:46 – A wild pitch from Putkonen advances the runner to second. Eerily similar to how Wake scored their first run.

2:47 - Turns out the wild pitch didn't benefit Wake at all, as Ben Terry just got hit by a pitch for the second time today. Cheater.

2:49 - OH TERRIBLE CALL! TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE CALL! Called him safe at the plate when he was clearly out. Clearly. Wow, I don't remember the last time my blood pressure was this high during a baseball game.

2:51 - After watching the instant replay, it's possible that Ocheltree may have been safe.

2:54 - Pitching change for the Heels. Quite the jam here. Two outs, but the bases are juiced. Do people still say that? "Juiced?" Stuart Scott used to say it. Oh, look at that…fly ball to center field, inning over.

3:01 - Heck of a hit by Josh Horton. A triple into right field drives in Ackley, and the Heels take a three to two lead. Of course, everyone knows that a one run lead is nothing in baseball.

3:02 - Talk about squandering an opportunity. The suicide squeeze failed miserably and now the bases are empty with two outs.

3:15 - Heading to the bottom of the ninth. Three outs separate the Heels from the ACC Championship. Hold on to your hats, boys and girls.

3:21 - Single. Sacrifice bunt. One out with a runner on second. Commence nail biting.

3:23 - Wow. Ground ball to short and, for no apparent reason, Ocheltree tried to go to third base. Needless to say, he was tagged out. Not very smart. Two outs, runner on first.

3:25 - Bunted it back to the pitcher. Threw him out. Ball game. And North Carolina wins their first ACC Championship since 1990. As a side note, Carolina Water Cooler is now 1-0 in baseball Views from the Couch.

Just two weeks after meeting with the Atlanta Braves front office, representatives from Rev. Jesse Jackson's Rainbow/PUSH Coalition have called for a meeting with Duke men's basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski.

Earlier this month, Rainbow/PUSH representatives met with Braves General Manager John Schuerholz to express their concern about the paucity of African-American players on the Braves major league roster.

But now, Rainbow representatives, including Jackson himself, have turned their attention to what they call a "Klan-like regime" in Durham, N.C.

"As any good Duke fan will tell you, Mike Krzyzewski doesn't recruit players, he selects them," the Rev. Jackson said. "With that in mind, it's obvious to me that the Duke program has gone out of its way to put together a team made up almost entirely of white people."

While Jackson is known for voicing opinions that even most black people find to be excessively anti-Caucasian, a neutral observer would have a hard time disputing any of the good Reverend's points in this matter. After recently choosing not to award a scholarship to Huntington, W. Va., big man Patrick Patterson, Krzyzewski has made it a real possibility that his Blue Devils could trot out a whitewash during ACC play next season. A potential lineup consisting of Greg Paulus, Jon Scheyer, Kyle Singler, Taylor King, and Brian Zoubek leaves Jackson shaking his head in disbelief.

"It's just sad that something like this could take place in the year 2007," Jackson stated. "You don't put that many white people on the floor together in today's ACC unless you have an agenda that you're trying to push."

Krzyzewski could not be reached for comment, but messages left for him were returned by assistant coach Steve Wojciechowski, who stated that Krzyzewski would not be available for comment while resting in his day-coffin.

"I wish I could tell you that we've offered more scholarships to black high school players, but that's simply not true," Wojciechowski said. "Because as you know, if we had offered scholarships to those players, they would have accepted. Players don't turn down an opportunity to play at Duke."

However, the diminutive Duke assistant offered an explanation for the sudden lack of pigmentation on Duke's roster.

"People have to understand that it's not an issue of racial prejudice," Wojciechowski said. "We've had a lot of success over the years, but Coach wants to take it to the next level and show everyone that he's able to win games with slow, white players who lack footspeed or any trace of athleticism."

No meeting between the two parties has been scheduled yet, however a Duke spokesman said that they're trying to set up a time. Duke will be represented in the discussions by Pete Gaudet.

The people have spoken. The votes have been tallied. And Roy Williams has been re-elected as Head Coach of the University of North Carolina men’s basketball program. His term, originally scheduled to end at the close of the 2010-2011 season, will now run through the conclusion of the 2014-2015 campaign.

The announcement came via University press release on Thursday, May 17. Experts view the high praise and support from the athletic department, particularly Athletic Director Dick Baddour, as a major factor in the unanimous decision to stay the course under Coach Williams’ guidance. High importance was also placed on the Coach’s astronomical approval rating. An unofficial Carolina Water Cooler poll, released Thursday evening, puts Ol’ Roy’s approval rating at 99.98% (+/- 0.02%) – the highest since Dean Smith’s 99.99% mark on April 5, 1993.

Coach Williams desperately needed the extension of his tenure in order to prove to recruits that he’s not just a lame duck coach. In recent months, a number of high-profile prospects have passed on the Heels, and their uncertainty regarding the future of the coaching staff is the only logical explanation for choosing East Lansing or Westwood over Chapel Hill.

Since taking over for Matt Doherty in 2003, Coach Williams has used his unique, if not eloquent, speaking style to unite Tar Heel nation. His non-partisan, clear vision for the direction of the program has been paramount to Carolina’s success in taking on the “Axis of Evil” (Duke, N.C. State, and, while not truly seen as a threat anymore, Wake Forest).

Coach Williams’ biggest achievement to date came in early April of 2005, when he guided his team to victory over top-ranked Illinois. The Illini’s stockpile of NBA-caliber weapons posed a serious threat to North Carolina’s championship hopes, but Coach Williams’ decision to pre-emptively attack Bruce Weber’s squad in the paint proved to be sheer tactical genius, and the Heels brought home the title.

If there is one area of Coach Williams’ leadership that has received some criticism, it’s his tendency to be a flip-flopper. After Bill Guthridge retired in 2000, Dick Baddour offered the coaching position to Roy Williams, who was then at Kansas. Roy declined. Three years later, however, when the position came open again, the Tar Heel native returned to his roots in North Carolina. Flippity floppity. While Carolina fans have all but relegated this event to a mere footnote in the history books, the Jayhawk faithful still frequently voice their disdain at Williams’ departure from Lawrence.

With the leadership of Carolina basketball now stabilized for the next eight seasons, the attention of those who follow the ACC now moves just a few miles down the road to Durham. A small faction there, as well as a much larger group of individuals in New Jersey, has recently begun to verbally question some of the leadership tactics being employed by the Duke Blue Devils’ Commander in Chief, Mike Krzyzewski.

Stay tuned to Carolina Water Cooler for more details as that story unfolds.

Dear Herbie,

It’s hard to believe an entire basketball season has passed us by since your shocking resignation. It doesn’t seem that long ago when Roy Williams only had to make a short trip down I-40 in order to beat you like his bald-headed step child.

Speaking of the Heels making the trip to Raleigh, would you believe that your former team actually defeated Carolina in the RBC Center this year? And we’re not talking about the Miami ( Ohio) team you used to coach, either. We’re talking about the Wolfpack. N.C. State. Are you surprised that they were able to accomplish that feat with first year coach Sidney Lowe at the helm?

Well, you shouldn’t be. After all, it’s not like the win was a credit to Lowe’s coaching or anything. He did it with your players. With Engin Atsur running the point, Lee Fowler could have picked somebody off the street to come in and beat North Carolina. And that’s exactly what the Wolfpack fans are saying during the offseason. We’re sure you remember how rational a collection of individuals they are. Any time anyone says N.C. State might be good next year, a Wolfpack Club member is right there to chime in and say that he’s withholding judgment on Coach Lowe’s abilities until he sees what he can do with a team full of players that were only recruited by Sidney himself. No one is crowning him the savior of N.C. State basketball.

In fact, we’ve talked to a lot of Wolfpack fans who miss you, Herb. Most of them get a little misty eyed just thinking about how things were while you were in charge. Many times this season we overheard folks in Raleigh talking about how much they despised the more uptempo style of play implemented by Coach Lowe. Some of the more elderly fans have often voiced their concern about the possibility of having a heart attack during a game. “We never had to worry about this when Herb Sendek was our coach,” they say.

But anyway, we’re sure you’re happy in Tempe. We were able to catch your victories over both USC and California in conference play this year. We weren’t able to see any other contests here in North Carolina (blasted east coast bias), but we’re sure that out of 18 PAC-10 games you won more than just those two.

We’ll let you get back to running practice now. Or when you’ve got the whistle are we just supposed to say that you’re getting back to walking practice? Either way, we’ll let you go.

Your pals,

Stillman and Dave

Dear Chris,

This has been a long time coming, but it's high time that we finally send an official apology in your direction.

We've been in denial for a long time. For years, we've tried to tell ourselves that not recruiting you was actually a good idea, but now we're learning to face the facts. But you have to understand that it wasn't anything personal. Many other recruiting mistakes were made during the Bill Guthridge Era as well, so it's not as if the University of the People had anything against you as a human being. But in retrospect, it's almost unfathomable that a man of your immense talent and heart could go overlooked right in our own backyard.

Of course--as is usually the case--justice prevailed in the end. Time after time, before Clemson's annual visit to Chapel Hill, you'd claim that you were going to roll into the Dean Dome and make us pay for not recruiting you. And like clockwork, you'd proceed to do just that. Who can forget your Dean Dome debut, when you scored those two points before the refs fouled you out in only 13 minutes of time on the court? Or perhaps your sophomore campaign when you roughed up our 8-20 squad, this time scoring five points before again being sent to the bench with five fouls while attempting to guard Kris Lang?

And then, as if those two games weren't enough, you felt compelled to show your wrath once again as a junior, scoring 10 points while only collecting four fouls in the contest. Remember that thunderous dunk after which you turned and screamed, "This is MY house!" to the students in the risers? That was perhaps the most intimidating pre-game warm-up routine we've ever witnessed.

But then there was the crowning blow your senior year. With Roy Williams now in town, it was obvious that you wanted him to feel your presence too. Those three points that you scored in only 33 minutes of play will forever be part of Smith Center lore.

But Chris, we really think it's time to bury the hatchet. We admit, we should have recruited you. You were right. We were wrong. And when you consider the great respect that folks in Chapel Hill have for you, it's startling to think about how great your legacy could have been if you'd been wearing blue instead of orange and been on the winning side of all of those Carolina/Clemson games in the Dean Dome.

Oh well. Our bad.

Take care,

Stillman and Dave

Running a website that covers Carolina sports has many advantages. For instance, when someone who doesn’t particularly care for sports inquires why we have to watch every second of every Carolina game, we can honestly respond “it’s my job.” We can also honestly respond “it doesn’t pay very well,” but that’s beside the point. In addition, we get tons of interesting emails from a vast array of people who want to respond to our comments or just provide a random observation of their own. But few things provide more joy than perusing our site’s tracking software and seeing what random string of words people have typed into their Google search engine and ended up stumbling onto our site.

In order to share this joy, Carolina Water Cooler has decided to release the top three search strings for the month of April…

1. “Melissa Stark”: No matter what time of day (or night) we check our software, someone has always landed on our site by searching for Melissa Stark within the last hour. Always. 99.9% of the time it’s an image search. We’re guessing that the other 0.1% of the time the person performing the search doesn’t know about Google’s “search images” feature.

2. “Carolina Water Cooler,” “Carolina Watercooler,” “carolinawatercooler”, or “www.carolinawatercooler.com”: For a long time we were dumbfounded at the amount of people who could remember that the name of this website is “Carolina Water Cooler” but couldn’t remember that the web address was “www.carolinawatercooler.com.” Finally, we learned that many of our readers are visiting the site on their employer’s time (i.e., at work) and that while typing the web address directly into their browser leaves a trail, performing a Google search does not – at least, not one that’s so easy to follow. Way to stick it to the man, readers!

3. “Kenny George” and anything related to being incredibly tall (“shoe size,” for example): Playing UNC- Asheville this past basketball season probably increased our readership tenfold – if not more. You wouldn’t believe how many people are interested in this 7’6” giant.

As an added bonus, we’d also like to point out five searches that, while not the most popular, were some of the most unique to ever bring a reader to the site…

“Exhuberantly definition”: First of all, whoever was searching for this should have gone to dictionary.com and then typed in the word. Second, and more importantly, there is no “h” in exuberantly. The reason why Carolina Water Cooler is the first search result when this is Googled is because we intentionally misspelled exuberantly in our definition of “Stephanie” in the Glossary of Terms. You don’t think we would have done that accidentally and then left it for nearly a year, do you?

“Miller Lite debate commercial blenders traveshamockery”: Carolina Water Cooler and some random blog are the only two search results when you Google this phrase. Not to brag or anything, but our site is about 729 times better than the other hit.

“Have there ever Ben Any footballplayers to go to the NFL from west iredell high school”: That might be the longest phrase ever typed into a search engine. And, as a graduate of Statesville High School, Dave would like to point out that this was obviously typed into the search engine by someone who currently attends West Iredell. “Ben”? “Footballplayers”? Seriously.

“Gaffney South Carolina water tower panties”: We’re not sure what the story is behind this search, but if you have any information about what this means, feel free to pass it along. Consider our curiosity piqued.

“Casey Nogueira Tobin Heath Dorm Room”: Yikes. This one has stalker written all over it.

In our second installment of "Open Letters for the Offseason," it's time for us to check in with our old buddy, Carl Torbush.

Dear Carl,

Wow, it's been a long time. Hard to believe that it's been six and a half years since we could call you "Coach." Although, to be honest, some days we actually have trouble remembering anything about your reign in Chapel Hill. Butch Davis hasn't even coached a game yet, and he's already made the John Bunting Era seem like a distant memory, so you can imagine how foggy your tenure has become.

But that doesn't mean that we can't look back at our time together and smile. We'll always have those bowl wins to reflect on, after all. Who would have thought that a coaching career that started with a 39-point shellacking of Virginia Tech in the Gator Bowl could have ended so...so...without 39-point bowl game victories? And the Las Vegas Bowl...who can forget that magical night when Ronald Curry stepped in for a gimpy Oscar Davenport and led us to a gritty win over...um...who did we play in the Las Vegas Bowl again?

Say, do you ever talk to Steve Marshall these days? He was probably our favorite offensive coordinator of all time. Can you even put into words the intestinal fortitude that guy had? It just doesn't seem like many other guys would have had the guts to incessantly run the fullback dive on 3rd-and-17, but Steve wasn't scared. Tar Heel Nation still owes him a debt of gratitude for making Deon Dyer a household name.

But enough about the men that made you great. How are things going for you at Carson-Newman? Do the people there call you NasCarl like the folks in Chapel Hill did? Or is there a certain amount of respect that comes with being the only Carolina coach to essentially be fired twice? Ah, those were the days.

One more thing: Dave wants to know if you have a poster from one your seasons at Carolina. See, here's the thing...he's trying to be sure that he has an autographed poster from each Carolina head football coach of his lifetime. He has one signed by Mack, and one from Bunting, of course, and he recently got the Butch Davis edition at the spring game. So that means that your John Hancock is the only glaring absence in his collection. Inexplicably enough, he hasn't been able to find any Torbush Era posters on E-Bay. Evidently people are hoarding them while they wait for the value to skyrocket. But surely you have one lying around somewhere that you could sign and send our way. So if you could go ahead and do that, that'd be great, mmmmmk?

Anyway, take care of yourself. Oh, and by the way...you're fired.

No just kidding, you're not fired.

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Ok, now you're fired.

Man, that never gets old.

Take care,

Stillman and Dave

Roy Williams Opening Statement

Thank you all for coming. Not sure why you’re here. You already know what we’re about to tell you. Since the season's over, as you know, we've been having individual conferences with all our players and Brandan's been included in that. In fact, for the past couple of weeks, he’s been pretty much the only one included in that. One of the discussions we had is whether or not to stay in school or to make himself eligible for the NBA draft. And when I say “one of the discussions,” I mean “pretty much all of the discussions." Except for that time he came in my office drinking a Pepsi and I had to tell him the story about my mom ironing clothes so that I could have a Coke after school. I think it made an impression on that dadgum rascal. This is a youngster who was hoping the decision would go away. That didn’t pan out. He was struggling even thinking about it, but anyway Brandan has made a decision and we're here today to let him tell you what that decision is. Drum roll please…

Brandan Wright Opening Statement

After a lot of consideration and weighing my options out I have decided to enter the 2007 NBA Draft. Surprise! The reason why I came to Carolina was to get an excellent education along with the great athletic program and I do intend on coming back and earning my degree. Whether I’m as quick about it as Sydney Lowe is still up in the air. I'm giving up my academic eligibility at UNC but not my academic career. Think of it as the Dwight Howard route. I think UNC was a great place for me to shine, especially my abilities and talents. But to be honest, the pay here isn’t all that good. One scholarship? That’s it? I think I really fit the system well. I mean, I shot a heck of a percentage from the field. I'd like to credit my teammates and the coaching staff for the way I played this year and how they set me up to look pretty good at times. I’ll give them slightly less credit for the times they set me up to look great. I just think entering the draft and being able to play in a system like this is so great for me because I think it's more of a post-out type of game and it's really going to help benefit me playing at the next level. Also, I hear the money is good in the NBA. I'd just like to credit my teammates and my coaches for the way they helped me out this year. They’re very nice people.

Coach Williams Again

Just to let you know I've visited with several NBA teams and came up with a scenario of where we thought Brandan would be drafted and gave him the salary scale so he'd know what to get behind each one of those positions. I probably could have printed this scale off the interweb instead, but I hate that blasted contraption. We stepped back and told him we'd support him in anything he did. Except staying at Carolina. At least that's what they're saying on that blasted interweb. But in all fairness, would I have recruited both Alex and Deon if I thought Brandan Wright was gonna spend four years here? I think that the bottom line it came down to trying to be able to take care of his family and do some things for them financially that he's not able to do at this time. Range Rovers ain’t cheap. There's tremendous possibilities of what he can do by making himself available to the NBA draft. Did I mention how much money he’s being offered? He'll be making well above "American Express Commercial" money, but slightly below "Coke Commercial" money. But it's enough to put food on the table.

Brandan Again

I was definitely torn in my decision. Because if something strange were to happen, I might get stuck playing for the Grizzlies or something crazy like that. There are so many positives and negatives of me entering the draft and other guys entering the draft. The positives are the money. The negatives are losing every night. I feel like the positives outweigh the negatives, especially when it comes when you have the opportunity to take care of your family at a young age like this. Lots and lots of money vs. lots of losses. It's just hard to pass up. I hope my first check is one of those big things they take to people’s houses who win the lottery. Or Publishers Clearing House.

Coach Williams Discusses Where Brandan Will Be Drafted

I think that he's definitely a top ten pick, and in my opinion I think there's a great possibility he would be the third, fourth, or fifth pick in the draft. I’d check what the NBA draft websites are saying, but, like I said, I don’t use the internet. I don't even have a computer in my office. Coach Smith always told me that you don't have to have the internet in your office if you don't want to. I don't think there's anyway he'd slide past six or seven. Have you seen how long his arms are? Early estimates indicated that Jay Bilas will refer to him as "long" no less than 147 times on draft night. Conservatively speaking I think you can say top ten without any question. Basically, it’ll be Oden, Durant, and then…actually, I guess he’s pretty much a lock for the third spot.

Wright Answers Whether He’s Hired An Agent

Not currently. Surprise again! I can still change my mind! I don't plan on hiring an agent. I hear those guys are expensive. I might meet with a few agents to get some information, but an agent is really no good to me right now. Haven’t I made it pretty clear that they’re already backing dump trucks full of money up to my dorm room?

As part of Carolina Water Cooler's offseason coverage, we'll be starting a weekly feature where we'll write letters to some of our favorite people that we've lost touch with. If we're lucky, maybe a few of them will write back. As one of CWC's most beloved former whipping boys, Chuck Amato was the obvious choice for our inaugural letter.

Dear Chuck,

It's been too long, man. We never thought it would be like this without you. Sure, we were sad when we found out that your smoke and mirrors sideshow was packing up and leaving Raleigh, but we had no idea how much we were going to miss you. Tom O'Brien just doesn't do it for us. He doesn't wear ruby slippers and his voice doesn't sound like he's been sucking on helium all afternoon and early signs seem to indicate that he might even be a good football coach. It's just not the same.

Anyway, how are things in Tallahassee? We've heard some pretty strange stories about you since you've been down there. Somebody told us that Bobby just sits up in his tower and lets you run practice for him. How's that working out? Do all those Sunshine State guys that you unsuccessfully tried to recruit to State listen to anything you say, or do they just stand around and try to keep from laughing at your mammary glands? By the way, does Bobby know about the 487 penalty yards per game that's he going to have to overcome now that you're back on the staff?

We also heard that you made some comments to the media down there about your relationship with the media up here...something about how you didn't really have a contentious relationship with with the Triangle media, but one particular group just seemed to have it out for you? You know, if you really felt that strongly about the times that Carolina Water Cooler picked on you, then you should have said something about it to our face instead of running down to Florida to complain. And if you're going to whine about us, you could have at least mentioned us by name so that we could have gotten some free publicity out of it.

But that said, we'd like you to know how sorry we are about the whole thing. We didn't ever mean to hurt your feelings or make you feel like less of a human being just for wearing sunglasses at night. And indoors. And those times where we said that Bunting was your daddy, that was all in good fun. We all know that if anybody in the Bunting family is your daddy, it's Dawn.

The ironic thing about how much we miss you is that the folks over in Raleigh don't yet seem to share our emotions. But just wait until TOB keeps showing up for important events and not wearing red. And what will happen when it gets to be late August and he still hasn't made claims that the Wolfpack is a national championship contender? Then they'll miss you. They'll have to.

Anywho, we miss you. Come back for a visit sometime. We'll have a parade.

Love,

Stillman and Dave

Through the depresion that has set in surrounding our devastating Georgetown defeat, I had an epiphany: what is Carolina Water Cooler going to write about for the next six months?  I realize that baseball coverage will pick up, but what then?  Are we just going to have mailbags to read from June until August football camp coverage?  Surely you can't expect Inside Carolina message boards to exclusively hold my "fix" during that time!  I've got needs, man!  Needs!!! Unless someone can strap a webcam to Butch Davis's visor so I can watch our head coach's every recruiting move during the course of the summer, I'm going to need more than message boards to hold my Tar Heel athletic addiction.
J. Glenn, Columbia, SC

Don't think that we haven't worried about this ourselves. After stewing it over for a few weeks, we've decided that the offseason lineup will consist of some baseball coverage (at least for the next couple of months), an occasional "Catching Up" feature with some of your favorite Tar Heels of yesteryear, open letters to some memorable figures (both Tar Heel and non-Tar Heel alike), and other goodies here and there. Any ideas or recommendations for things you'd like to see are welcome.

Get a life. We happen to like Tar Heel Fan. (But thanks for referring to us as influential regional sports media figures). Seriously though, get a life.

Emails to Brian Allen, Sr. Duke Correspondent

I am not a NC or Duke fan, but let's face it, Coach K has won more championships than Dean Smith and with less talent. Duke has never had a Jordan, Worthy, Perkins, Carter, etc...I believe your "coaching pedigree" section summarizes that well. Duke doesn't get that kind of talent. Their best player over the past two seasons was J.J. Redbrick. Are you kidding me? In addition, NC's championships were not won by NC, they were lost by the other team.

No disrespect to Smith as he is a class act by all accounts and definitely one of the greatest ever. But seriously, Coach K will, if he hasn't already, surpass Dean Smith in coaching prowess. To completely discredit him and some 680 wins is silly but I do respect your spirit.
Art K., Haddonfield, N.J.

Brian says...

The match-ups for the 2007 ACC/Big Ten Challenge were released on Tuesday via a far less exciting route (press release) than the “Selection Sunday” method the NCAA employs. Of course, that’s to be expected. After all, when the pairings for the Big Dance are announced, no one knows who will be crowned as the champion of the event. But when the dust settles following the ACC/Big Ten Challenge, the ACC is always the conference hoisting the Commissioner’s Cup. As a side note, is there any competition left in America for which the winner does not receive the “(Fill-in-the-Blank) Cup”?

For the second year in a row, North Carolina will take on Ohio State in the event. In what was unarguably the Buckeyes’ best game of the season, the Tar Heels claimed a 98 to 89 victory against OSU in their 2006 meeting at the Dean Dome. This implies that if Carolina had just made 15% of their shots from the field in the final ten minutes against Georgetown they would have had a cakewalk into the National Championship game. But, if ifs and buts were candy and nuts we’d all have a merry Christmas.

Duke is at home for the 27th consecutive time in the Challenge and will take on “basketball power Wisconsin.” That description comes from ACC Media Relations – not Carolina Water Cooler. Luckily for the Badgers, all they’ll be missing from this season as they travel to Durham will be the only two players who averaged in double figures for them in 2006-2007…Alando Tucker and Kammron Taylor.

The 2007 Challenge will take place over a three day span from November 26 through November 28, with one game on Monday, five on Tuesday, and five on Wednesday. Monday’s lone game will be Wake Forest traveling to Iowa. Aside from pointing out that both schools wear gold and black, few interesting comments can be made about this game, and we’re not exactly sure why the conferences picked it to be the only game going on during the first night.

N.C. State, a team which North Carolina owns during the regular season, will hit the road to do battle with Michigan State, a team North Carolina owns during the post season. Actually, that’s not fair to the Wolfpack. After taking the results of the 2007 ACC Tournament into consideration, it should be noted that the Heels own the Pack in the postseason as well.

Tubby Smith will get a chance to defeat an ACC team for the first time since his Kentucky team defeated the Heels on January 3, 2004. The good news is that he’ll be playing Florida State instead of North Carolina. The bad news is that he’ll be coaching Minnesota instead of Kentucky.

There will be six other games in the event that you probably will care very little about but may wind up watching anyway for lack of anything better to do. Two of them involve Big Ten schools that you typically hear more about during football season than basketball season. They are Boston College at Michigan and Virginia Tech at Penn State. Two of them involve ACC teams that you would have assumed had a great season this past year if you’d only paid attention to half of their season…Clemson (the first half) and Maryland (the last half). They’ll play Purdue and Illinois respectively. Not much can be said about Georgia Tech vs. Indiana or Northwestern vs. Virginia except that all four schools were invited to play in the Challenge, unlike Miami, who will be watching from home.

Ticket listings for Carolina’s date with Ohio State aren’t yet available through Carolina Water Cooler’s exclusive ticket provider, but you can see the list of available tickets for what’s sure to be an intense gridiron battle between N.C. State and Wofford in Carter Finley on September 15th, so be sure to check that out.

Hi folks, Dickie V here. Whew, what a tournament! The suspense and excitement were superb. We had overtime thrillers, Maalox mashers, and classic comebacks. I’m flat out exhausted, baby!

And what a sensational season it was too, start to finish. Let’s review the entire season, coast to coast, big conferences and small, equal time for all, for the greatest moments.

Here’s my list of the top ten events from the 2006-2007 college hoops season:

10. Florida repeating as National Champs. Hey, what better place to start than with the Florida Gators becoming the first team since Duke University to repeat as national champions? That’s right, the first repeat champion since Duke pulled it off in 1991 and 92. I personally still can’t believe that it has been fifteen years since we were treated as a nation to the legendary performances of Christian Laettner, Grant Hill, and Bob Hurley, all working in perfect synchronicity under the guiding hand of one Michael Krzyzewski. Who could forget that classic game winner against Kentucky in the regional final? You know – the one we still see and hear at the start of every NCAA tournament game! Who could forget Thomas Hill collapsing to the floor in tears of joy as Mr. Laettner’s impossible shot hit nothing but nylon? Yes, my friends, there have been so many magical Duke teams through the years, but that one was truly something special.

9. Duke’s preseason No. 10 ranking. Speaking of the Dukies, all I heard for much of the season was “What’s wrong with Duke?” Well, I think Coach Krzyzewski answered that question loud and clear at the outset as he led his young team out of the starting gates with yet another top 10 national ranking. Sure, they finished the season unranked, losing 8 of their last 12 and losing in the first round of both the ACC and NCAA tourneys to double digit seeded teams, but that’s not important. The big accomplishment was going into such a competitive season ranked No. 10 and having so many people believe that you were that good of a team. It says so much about the incredible reputation of Duke basketball.

8. Bobby Knight capturing the all-time wins record. Well, we all knew it would happen. That day when Robert Montgomery Knight would surpass the all-time wins record of Michelangelo. What an awesome spectacle it was, recounting those great accomplishments of this coaching legend. I still think his crowning achievement has been the awesome pedigree he has left behind, led by the greatest coach to ever walk on Planet Earth, the ultimate Rolls Roycer, one Michael Krzyzewski. Who would have thought that the great Coach K would ascend to such legendary status after starting as a lowly assistant at the U.S. Military Academy! It just shows the champion’s heart for which Coach K deservedly receives such notoriety! Yes, my friends, Coach K is truly the best who ever has coached, or ever will coach, the game of basketball!

7. Duke’s record setting win streak. Just when you think Duke has completely re-written the entire record book, we see Coach K set a new one. This year, for the first time in his illustrious 28 year career at Duke, the great one led his team back from a four game losing streak with a stunning four game winning streak. How incredible is that, baby?! Yes sir, Coach K once again silenced his critics with that record-setting accomplishment.

6. Shelden Williams’ jersey retirement ceremony. The day was January 31, 2007, the scene, Cameron Indoor Stadium. We all watched in nostalgic awe as the jersey of the greatest low post player in history was retired. It was a real Kleenex moment as we looked back on the magical moments brought to us by this true PTP’er, Mr. Shelden Williams. Ah, what a space eater he was! And I’m so glad that the Landlord was given such a glorious return to Cameron. We all know that he stumbled a bit – some would say flat fell on his face – during Duke’s loss to UNC last year in its highly anticipated Cameron senior night finale. Yes, there’s no doubt about it, it was let-down city for the Landlord when he was taken to school on graduation night by a freshman center named Tyler Hansbrough. But all was right with the world as the Dukies permanently mounted his jersey above Coach K Court! Ah, why can’t I have a Dukie mount me too! It’s just not fair baby!

5. Kevin Durant named Player of Year. Well, we all remember last year as we were treated to a two man race for national player of the year honors. JJ Redick, the ultimate PTPer, led the way with those incredible area code jumpers, that unprecedented senior leadership, and his ever classy all around demeanor. He flat out carried the Duke Blue Devils to yet another prestigious Sweet 16 appearance and set the all time ACC career scoring record in the process. And that co-POY winner, Adam Morris, or something like that, he did a great job too. Now, Kevin Durant did not reach the same heights as JJ Redick, but it was a great year for him nonetheless!

4. Duke – Gonzaga. By far, the most dramatic of the nonconference contests had to be this battle of the Titans. Ah, this one had all the earmarks of an instant classic. We had the Dukies with their no. 6 ranking taking on the Zags, who were slipping but still steady at No. 23. And it all took place in the Mecca, also known as Madison Square Garden. One play in particular will forever stand out in my mind – when Greg Paulus dove for that loose ball and crashed through that tablecloth of the media table. I really thought this showed us so much about the heart, the intensity, and the passion that is the cornerstone of Duke basketball. We all remember as he laid there on the floor, writhing in pain, with that towel pressed to his chin and tears of pain flowing. But, sure as the day is long, he was right back on the floor only minutes later, playing as if that dime-sized band aid wasn’t there! There’s no doubt about it, my friends, that one play – with Greg Paulus falling on the floor on his face and crying into a towel minutes later – really captured the essence of this Duke season!

3. Darren Collison winning defensive player of the year honors. We all know how high the bar was set over the past two years, as a player by the name of Shelden Williams dominated the defensive player of the year voting. We’re talking about a defensive extraordinaire who won two consecutive national defensive player of the year awards and was voted All-American as well! It’s just so easy to forget that his team was upset in each of those two years, once by five seeded MSU and once by a freshman oriented four seed from LSU. No, my friends, it will be a long, long time before we see defense of that caliber again on the college hardwood, but congratulations go out to Mr. Colson, or Coleman or something like that, for his efforts.

2. Josh McRoberts’ incredible season accomplishment. Down in Durham, N.C., Mr. Josh McRoberts pulled off an incredible feat, as he was the only player in the nation to average at least 10.0 points, 7.5 rebounds, 2.5 blocks and 3.5 assists. It’s awesome, with a capital A! Big time kudos are in order for Mr. McRoberts, as well as for the person who came up with this combination of statistics to follow!

1. JJ Redick’s jersey retirement ceremony. And the greatest moment of the season? It’s a no brainer, baby! We’re talking about an epic story: the retirement of Mr. JJ Redick’s college jersey. Who wasn’t touched by JJ’s tearful speech, when he shared that private conversation with Coach K as a young diaper dandy? When Coach K asked young JJ what he wanted most to accomplish from his playing days, and JJ said, “I want to have my jersey retired in the rafters.” Ah, what an awesome story! And how can we not all celebrate in seeing this dream come true for JJ? And thank heaven above his answer to Coach K had not been to win a national title, or to lead a team to victory in an NCAA tournament game, or to live up to expectations at the next level! How great it was to see JJ receive this awesome recognition, from his own school, a year after LSU took him on a guided tour of brick city! And in a broader sense, how awesome it is to know that JJ Redick and Shelden Williams, two All-Americans from the most loaded team in college basketball history, now have their jerseys hanging from the steel girder of a 75 year old gymnasium where adult students dress like Batman and Robin as they parrot thirty year old cheers? I’m sure that more than compensates for the four years of accomplishing nothing in post-season play.

So there you have it; my take on the greatest moments from another awesome college hoops season!

So this is the second year in a row that I've been more excited about the start of the women's Final Four than the men's. Let's hope that's not a continuing trend.

9:19 - I guess the pregame Tennessee lovefest is nothing to be surprised about, but if you weren't paying close attention, you might not realize who the Vols are playing tonight.

9:28 - After the first two minutes of play, the only thing that we've done better than hit the offensive glass is miss all of our layups. Oh, women's basketball, how we adore thee.

9:31 - LaToya is a shot-blocking machine. Just an absolute machine. By the way, is she still dating Lord Byron? Just think of the children those two could make. Which brings me to my breeding theory that doesn't seem to get enough publicity. LaToya and Byron are already together, Camille Little is with Marvin, and I do believe that Greg Little is sweet on Alex Miller. If we could just get Ivory hooked up with Raymond and then get all of these couples married off, they could procreate and give us a full decade of uber-Tar Heels that could carry us through the 2020 decade.

9:36 - First TV timeout and we're yet to score. Oh women's basketball, how we adore thee.

9:41 - Rashanda McCants puts us on the board nearly six minutes into the game. Why doesn't she ever throw up Rashad's dynasty symbol? I feel like she'd be a lot more effective if she'd do that.

9:45 - I'm not usually crazy about Mike Patrick, but his "Yikes" was a good summary of the 3-for-26 field goal effort that these two teams have combined for so far. Astute analysis by Doris Burke as she chimes in with, "That's not very good."

9:49 - Dave just called to ask if I'd rather watch UCLA play Pittsburgh 18 times or watch the first 8 minutes of this game again. I haven't decided yet.

9:53 - Hard to be excited about Candace Parker's two fouls now that Ivory has three. Gonna need Erlana to step up. She's been quiet.

9:56 - Watching Camille Little play is a lot more fun than trying to interview her. She has an uncanny knack for giving answers in less than three words and generally providing no insight whatsoever.

10:04 - The combination of turnovers and missed shots by both teams is just staggering. I haven't seen a brick-and-airball-fest like this since...well...the final 12 minutes against Georgetown.

10:15 - Tennessee leads 22-21 at halftime. That's points, not turnovers.

10:32 - Second half underway. Can hardly contain my excitement.

10:37 - Dave called to say that the two teams have combined to shoot 54 percent. That's not an average. That's 28 percent plus 26 percent. Dave also says he's doing a puzzle that's shaped like a sea turtle while watching the game. This dude could not possibly be more married. He's doing a puzzle. Shaped like a sea turtle.

10:46 - Ivory with a big three followed by a Camille transition layup to complete a 12-0 Carolina run. Tennessee responds with a jump shot that wedges in between the rim and the backboard. Ah, good times.

10:50 - We're running these fools now. A nine-point lead is a lot in an offensively challenged game like this.

10:52 - Have we ever been given a good reason as to why Candace Parker is dating Sheldon? Why would a human do that?

10:59 - We scored 21 points in the first half. Only took half of the second half to score that much again. And now the latest Ivory antics give us a 10 point lead. Mike Patrick just called her "tougher than a two dollar steak."

11:06 - Does the city of Cleveland have some kind of rule that any televised sporting events in their city must talk incessantly about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Or is that just the only thing in Cleveland that's even remotely worth mentioning?

11:12 - Camille just fouled out. Let's hope that's not how her college career ends.

11:15 - Let the choking begin. A 10-0 run for the Vols has the lead down to two.

11:25 - Two minutes. Vols by one. Brutal.

11:29 - Dang it, dang it, dang it. This is Georgetown all over again. Just awful.

11:35 - And Ivory ends it with an airball. Seriously...Georgetown, the sequel. Horrible, awful, terrible. I hate basketball. I'm going to bed.

Every year as far back as I can remember I have filled out two brackets. The first says “Dave’s Picks” in the upper right hand corner. The second says “Actual” in the upper right hand corner. Every year I go into the first weekend of the tournament thinking “this could be the year that the two brackets look exactly the same.” And every year about four hours in to the games I realize that won’t be the case. Of course, my bracket is never (emphasis on the never) as bad as Stillman’s…but that’s neither here nor there.

But even after I miss the first (and second and third…) game, it’s still fun to fill in the “actual” bracket and compare it to my predictions as the tournament unfolds. Fun, that is, until Carolina loses. Once that happens, filling in the actual outcomes becomes a chore. The brackets sit on my desk or my coffee table or my couch, and they mock me…constantly reminding me that the Heels are no longer playing, even though my prediction bracket clearly says they ought to be.

This year it was Tuesday night before I could bring myself to write the word “Georgetown” on the line for the East Regional Champion – a full two days after Carolina had lost. That may actually be a record for me. There have been years that Carolina has lost in the second round and I haven’t filled in anything else until the champion was crowned, at which time I went back and filled in the entire thing all in one fell swoop. Something about advancing the Heels’ opponent in my bracket instead of “UNC” provides me with closure. It marks the official end to another season. So sometimes I put it off, because I don’t want the season to end.

But now that that’s done and there are still three games remaining, I’m forced to ask myself…who do I root for now? The Heels are out. So are the Aggies of Texas A&M. I’m not an Aggie fan; I merely point this out because that’s who I had picked to make the Final Four from that region. Had they accomplished that feat, I would be cheering for them with at least half of my might, since they have no basketball history to speak of and are therefore no real threat to the Heels. So let’s take a look at who’s left and see if we can decipher the best possible outcome.

The left side of the bracket features Florida vs. UCLA in the national semi-final game. Since I picked Florida to win that match-up in my predictions, I suppose I should pull for them against the Bruins. Not only would that prevent UCLA from claiming its 47th NCAA title, but it would put a couple more places between Stillman and myself in the Dick’s Sporting Goods Bracket Challenge (with me in the lead, obviously). If Florida wins, however, that virtually assures me of being forced to root for their opponent in the championship game, as no one wants to see a team not named North Carolina win back to back titles. Though I will say that if Florida won it all, then ten years from now instead of commentators saying “X is looking to repeat as National Champions for the first time since Duke in 1991 and 1992,” they’d point to the Gators in 2006 and 2007. Still, watching Joakim Noah get the National Championship trophy lost in his hair as he hoists it above his head doesn’t sound particularly appealing right now.

On the right side of the bracket, we have Georgetown taking on Ohio State. I honestly can’t think of any positives that would come from a Buckeye victory. Those people from Ohio are already cocky enough during football season. If you feel inclined to root for Thad Matta (for some unknown reason), consider cheering for Lorenzo Mata of UCLA instead. Spelled differently, pronounced the same.

That leaves us with a Monday night game that would feature the Gators against the Hoyas. Just looking at that on paper (or on the computer screen), I can’t imagine myself pulling for Billy Donovan. Even though Georgetown eliminated Carolina this year, I just don’t harbor that much ill will toward them. I think I might despise the Gators more for knocking the Heels out of the tourney in 2000 than I do the Hoyas for their victory just last Sunday.

So there you have it…my advice is to cheer for Georgetown. But do whatever you’d like; I’m not all that thrilled about any of the choices now that the Heels are gone. On the plus side – at least we know Duke won’t be winning it all.

Last. Dead last.

Special thanks to T. Stephenson, J. Bouldin, and J. Abernathy for never filling out their brackets so that it appears that there are three people below me in the standings. But of the people that actually made picks, I have a stranglehold on 81st place in an 81-person pool. And with zero possible points remaining, I'm assured of keeping my name in that hallowed spot.

Fortunately, Dad has saved the family name from complete and utter emasculation. He's in 16th place, so I can at least take comfort in seeing another "J. Stillman" on the leaderboard.

As for the Staley family, Dave's mom is carrying the torch...she stands proudly in 6th place. Dave checks in at 24.

At the top of the leaderboard, it's a dead heat between J. DeSena and P. Wolf. DeSena has Georgetown over Florida in the championship game, while Wolf took Florida over Ohio State. In the event of a Buckeye win over Florida in the title game, the effervescent Taylor Zarzour will likely vault into first place. Carolina Water Cooler is undecided as to whether or not he'll be eligible to win a Dick's Gift Card.

At any rate,my travesty of a bracket isn't the only reason that this tourney has lost some of its luster. If you hadn't noticed, Carolina is no longer playing, but fortunately, we were able to stay alive long enough that only three games remain to be played after our departure. Much better than losing to Penn State or BC in the second round. And hypothetically, it's better than losing to Weber State in the first round (I say hypothetically because that never actually happened. They taped that game in the same Nevada hangar where they faked the moon landing).

But all of the bad memories notwithstanding, it's time to gird up your loins and enjoy this year's Final Four. You'll thank yourself later. Just think about the month of July, when the only thing to enjoy is the Braves inevitable run back to the top of the National League East.

Oh, and you can take comfort in the fact that you're not in last place in your bracket pool. The one that you created. Where you promised to beat Dave. Not that I'm bitter.

You’ve probably heard me mention before that, for college basketball fans, the two best sports days of the year are the first Thursday and Friday of the NCAA Tournament. If you’ve not heard me say it before, just keep listening…because I’ll say it. What you probably haven’t heard me make reference to is the worst sports day of the year, which occurs upon the realization that there is no Carolina basketball left to watch until November. This day typically occurs in late March, but in special years doesn’t transpire until early April.

What follows is a list of the most depressing day of each year since 1992. In March of 1992 I was seven years old. I don’t remember any depressing days prior to that, partially because both of my parents were N.C. State fans and I didn’t discover the light blue until I’d had a couple of elementary school teachers convince me that the Tar Heels were cooler than the Wolfpack. A larger part of the reason I don’t remember earlier days is that in March of 1991 I was only six, and I don’t really remember anything about that time period except collecting football cards. But I digress…

1992 – Sweet 16 loss to Ohio State. I don’t recall being overly upset about this loss, but looking back, I’m not sure why not – we lost to Ohio State in the Sweet 16??? Sans Greg Oden? That doesn’t sound right. I actually remember being much more upset about losing to Duke in the ACC Championship game than losing to the Buckeyes, but that’s probably because I had a cousin who was a Duke fan and came over just after the game had ended to show me her new Duke shirt. She’s lucky I still speak to her.

1993 – A National Championship victory was marred only by the fact that they play the National Championship game late on a school night and I had a bed time. To my relief, however, my parents promised to wake me up with five minutes to play and let me watch the end…and also to watch the entire game on tape the following day. So actually, the worst day of the year in 1993 didn’t happen until the day after the day after the 77 to 71 National Championship victory over Michigan. For me, anyway.

1994 – This is the first time I remember going outside and slamming a basketball off the backboard repeatedly after a disheartening loss (though not the last time). Ninth seeded Boston College ended Dean Smith and the Tar Heels' streak of 529 straight Sweet Sixteen appearances with a second round upset. I’ve never forgiven the Eagles, but sweeping them on the hardwood this season has eased my hatred toward them somewhat.

1995 – An odd numbered year in the ‘90’s decade can only mean one thing…Final Four. The fact that the loss came to the defending National Champion Arkansas Razorbacks didn’t make it hurt any less. I was also infuriated by the fact that my best friend (at the time), who I happened to be spending the night with, didn’t care a thing about basketball and wanted to watch Airplane after the game went off. Or Space Balls. I can’t remember which.

1996 – I honestly can’t remember where I was when Texas Tech (pre-Bobby Knight) defeated Carolina in the Sweet Sixteen. I actually don’t remember much about that entire season. It’s like I’ve blacked it out. I’m sure that one day, when I’m 58, I’ll be sitting on my couch watching Carolina play, and the memory of this day will suddenly flood back to me all at once and I’ll sit and cry for hours when I finally discover what it was that my mind has been trying to keep secret from me all these years. Until then, ignorance is bliss.

1997 – Going into Saturday’s Final Four match-up, I remember sitting in my room and thinking “no way Carolina will lose to Arizona twice in one year.” I looked at my bracket and smiled at our good fortune of getting to play them again. Boy was I wrong. This loss stung for a good deal longer than the Texas Tech loss did. I guess it did, anyway; I don’t really know, I can’t remember losing to Texas Tech. But I remember this one stinging for a long time.

1998 – An even numbered year in the ‘90’s decade had always meant “pre-Final Four exit” until this season. Of course, the Heels didn’t really show up to play against Utah in the National Semis. My plan for this game was to watch it at a neighbors’ house. I was running a little behind and didn’t walk out my front door until about 2 minutes before tip-off. By the time I’d walked the 50 feet across the street and into their house, Carolina was down by 15. Needless to say, it wasn’t a pleasant evening.

1999 – The Tar Heels drew 14th seeded Weber State in the first round of the tourney this year, and I was spending the weekend with my grandparents. The Heels played on Friday night and we went out to eat before the game started. Elderly people eat slower than high school freshmen, and I was ready to return to the house long before the grandparents were, so I was forced to listen to much of the game on the radio. I never thought I’d be running from the car to the television to see if Carolina could pull out a victory over Weber State, but it happened that night. “They’ll win the next one,” my grandma said. “Yes, too bad the next one is eight months away,” I replied.

2000 – By far the most exciting (or maybe “shocking” is a better word) Tar Heel Final Four run in my young life. This was also the first time I’d ever picked North Carolina to lose in a tournament bracket. That’s right, I picked the Heels to win the championship every year up until this season, where I predicted a second round loss to Stanford – and I seriously contemplated picking a loss to Missouri in the first round. I jumped up and down in the street with a neighbor at the conclusion of the upset over Stanford, and jumped up and down alone in my room after the victory over Tulsa which propelled Carolina to the Final Four. The sheer excitement of the unexpected run, coupled with the fact that Florida had beaten Duke in the Elite Eight, helped somewhat ease the pain of the Final Four loss to the Gators. I was actually more sick to my stomach when Florida beat UCLA in the 2006 Championship game than I was when the Heels lost this game. Strange.

2001 – Sunday. Bloody Sunday. After watching the Heels lose four Sundays in a row, starting with a painful loss to Clemson, Selection Sunday revealed that the Heels had drawn the Friday-Sunday matchup. So it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that the Heels were going to lose in the second round, making it five straight painful Sundays. The only question was who would play the role of underdog, Penn State or Providence? For the record, it was Penn State.

2002 – This was the first (and, to date, only) time in my life that North Carolina’s season ended with a loss in the ACC Tournament. It was also one of the least painful season-ending losses in my life. Matt Doherty’s snail paced game plan nearly provided the Heels with an upset over the Blue Devils, but Duke finally pulled away for a 60 to 48 victory. When the game was over, I breathed a sigh of relief. The worst Carolina basketball season since the Declaration of Independence was signed had finally come to a close.

2003 – Looking back, it would have been cool to be able to tell people that I attended the University of North Carolina when the Heels won both an NIT and NCAA Championship. But alas, it wasn’t to be. A third round loss to Georgetown was disappointing, but, in all honesty, no one would have cared if I’d told them I attended Carolina when they won an NIT Championship anyway.

2004 – Most expected loss in history. No one really felt Carolina was going to beat the Longhorns of Texas. I was just happy they beat Air Force. But the anticipation of the upcoming season started to mount as soon as the final horn sounded in Denver.

2005 – Depression didn’t set in this year until nearly a week after the National Championship. There was too much to do in the meantime. There were t-shirts to buy, commemorative issues (of everything) to acquire, Daily Tar Heels to hunt down, and Welcome Home ceremonies to attend. It’s a lot easier to be depressed about not having any Tar Heel basketball to watch for the next several months when you can re-watch Carolina taking home the title for the entire off-season.

2006 – George Mason. George stinkin’ Mason. This was one of those seasons where if you’d been told before the year started that the Heels were going to lose in the second round of the tournament, you’d have been ecstatic they made it that far, but when it happened you were ticked off. At least I was. This was only the second Carolina game I’d watched in my new abode, and I spent fifteen minutes following the game laying on my back and staring at the ceiling in complete silence. Except for the background noise of the television, where Clark Kellogg and Greg Gumbel talked about what a surprisingly good team George Mason had turned out to be. George stinkin’ Mason.

2007 – I don’t know how this year will be remembered when I look back next season, but right now it stings.

Everybody seems to think that Georgetown is going to avenge the '82 Championship loss today. Clearly, they don't realize how ticked we are about the NIT loss that ended the Matt Doherty Era, the Will Johnson Era, and the Jon Holmes Era all in one night.

5:11 - One Georgetown possession, one backdoor layup . Get used to it; they'll be trying that all the day long.

5:14 - Wow. Really liking the pace of this game. If we keep this up, Roy Hibbert is going to be sucking wind like Rick Majerus chasing a doughnut down a hill.

5:19 - Billy Packer thinks that Tyler traveled before he got fouled on his last shot. But to Billy's credit, he doesn't think Jeff Green traveled when he hit the game-winning shot against Vanderbilt. Phenomenal.

5:25 - Two games in a row with the opposing coach getting a technical foul. Darn those Carolina refs.

5:32 - Billy says Hibbert looks like a father playing with his kids. I agree; Big Roy looks almost as old as Greg Oden.

5:50 - Text from Dave: "Think it'll be 63-62 at the half?" Now that would be something.

5:57 - Surely I'm not the only one that can't wait until Alex Stepheson plays major minutes. Dude is a rebounding machine. And with a free throw with two seconds left in the half, he puts us squarely on a 100-point pace.

5:58 - As the half expires, Marcus Ginyard breaks up a length-of-the-court Georgetown pass, leading Billy to exclaim, "What a great defensive halfback play by Ginyard!" What...in the world...is a defensive halfback?

6:23 - Second half just underway. Already three fouls on Hibbert. That's ok, he was probably tired anyway from playing over a minute here at the start of the half.

6:28 - I will go ahead and state for the record that we aren't exactly playing lock down defense.

6:34 - Deon having probably his best game since Arizona. Hopefully he decides to stick around for another season or two.

6:45 - You can tell that Tywon is tired, but our offense is much too efficient for him to come out. Not saying I wouldn't be tickled to see Q get in on some of this.

6:52 - They really did a good job of hiding the scars from Hibbert's frontal lobotomy. Seriously, no emotion out of this guy whatsoever.

6:56 - We're suddenly hoisting up bricks faster than Okulaja in the Weber State game. And I'll be dadgummed if Roy didn't just call a timeout. What's the occasion?

7:06 - I enjoy how Billy likes to call free throws when they're halfway to the rim. He just called, "Short" on Tyler's free throw right before it went through the net. And I'm not positive, but after it went in, I'm pretty sure he said, "Lucky." Sounded like Napoleon Dynamite.

7:08 - I look forward to torturing my grandchildren with the "Back in my day, Tyler Hansbrough played at Carolina and he was just a beast of a human being" stories.

7:12 - Oh dear. Tie game. Our ball. Shot clock off. Commence pacing. And heart failure.

7:15 - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WHY SHOOT A THREE THERE???? AND WHY SHOOT IT WITH THAT MUCH TIME LEFT????

7:18 - Is it me, or do we never win in overtime? Somebody hold me.

7:20 - Hoyas by 4. Sick to my stomach.

7:23 - Stunned. Just stunned.

7:28 - Reyshawn and Wes: Thanks for everything; we'll miss you both. Sorry we couldn't send you out on a better note, but hopefully that 2005 ring will ease the pain just a bit. Brandan and Tywon: Are you sure this is how you want it to end for you? Butch: Our lonely eyes turn to you.

“Threw it away to Worthy! Worthy…FIVE…the TAR HEELS are going to win the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!”

Makes you smile, doesn’t it? A win over the Hoyas on Sunday won’t win the Heels another title, but it’ll get them one step closer. And that’s all we can ask for this weekend. We’ll wait until next weekend to ask them to win the championship.

Meanwhile, Georgetown is trying to return to the Final Four for the first time since 1985 (by comparison, North Carolina has been to 76 Final Fours in that same time span). The Hoyas have played in four title games in their history…one in 1943, and then three in a four year span – 1982, 1984, and 1985. Their lone championship victory came in 1984 as they defeated the University of Houston by nine. To the best of my knowledge, no airballs resulted in game-winning dunks in this particular contest.

While the Hoyas will no doubt be out for revenge for their one point loss to the Tar Heels in the 1982 championship match-up, Carolina will be seeking payback for a 79 to 74 loss to Georgetown in the 2003 NIT. While it certainly hurts worse to lose in the NCAA title game than the third round of the NIT, recent memories are always more vivid than older ones. And since none of the current Hoyas were even alive for the loss in ’82, the current Heels have the advantage in the revenge as a motivator department.

This season, head coach John Thompson III (no relation to former Hoya coach John Thompson, Jr. – aside from them being father and son) and the Hoyas walk (literally) into the Elite Eight after wins over Belmont, Boston College, and Vanderbilt. If the Heels had had to play the Eagles or the Commodores in the tournament, Carolina fans would probably have spent a good deal of time talking about how tough they were, but don’t you think Michigan State and USC would have soundly defeated Georgetown’s last two opponents?

The Hoyas have had a lot of big names don their hideously ugly grey uniforms over the years. As a part of their celebration of 100 years of Georgetown basketball this season, fans were asked to vote on the top 25 players in Hoya history. The list included Tom O’Keefe, Patrick Ewing, Dikembe Mutombo, Alonzo Mourning, and Allen Iverson. Surprisingly, Michael Jackson made the list over Paul Tagliabue. Which reminds me…why did the second leading rebounder in Georgetown history become the commissioner of the NFL instead of the NBA?

You’re no doubt curious about the origination of the term Hoya. If these previews have taught me nothing else, it’s that typically when a team has a nickname that’s not a real word, some (intoxicated?) student of the school just said it one day and it stuck. I was tempted to just say that’s what happened at Georgetown without even looking it up, but that would have been a disservice to you the reader. After extensive research, I’ve learned that for years Georgetown went by the nickname “The Stonewalls,” until one day a student cheered his Stonewalls on by shouting “Hoya Saxa.” Hoya is Greek for “what” and Saxa is Latin for “rocks.” He must have yelled it obnoxiously loud and repeatedly, because it caught on enough to became the new nickname. Since this scholarly individual was making up cheers in a foreign language, he probably wasn’t inebriated…but, in fairness, he did mix two different languages in his two word phrase.

Tickets are still available to Sunday’s game through Carolina Water Cooler’s exclusive ticket provider. Be sure to scroll down to the bottom of that link and check out the three lower level tickets going for $232,404. Each. I guess $697,212 is a small price to pay to watch the Heels earn a spot in the Final Four.

It's been a long week waiting for tonight. Hopefully we can be the next in a long line of higher seeds that try their best to choke the game away, but in the end, just can't do it. Luckily I fell asleep last night before the second half of the Ohio State debacle. Glad I didn't stay awake to see the Vols choke like Bobby Cox in October.

9:12 - I can't take this switching back and forth between games that I know aren't going to end favorably. With my bracket looking like the back of Kevin Spacey's head at the end of American Beauty, I've completely stopped worrying about which teams I need to win and have jumped solidly on the lower seed bandwagons.

9:15 - Roy Hibbert just fouled out for Georgetown while hacking a three-point shooter. What I can't decide is whether Hibbert or Greg Oden will be the first overrated center to put an NBA team over the salary cap because the club forgot to factor in social security checks.

9:21 - Sorry to ruin the end of the murder myster novel, but the Butler didn't do it. Gators are all but guaranteed another trip to the Final Four now. See what I mean about the higher seeds just not being able to choke, no matter how hard they try?

9:24 - Plenty of reasons to root for Vandy to pull this thing out. As if Brad Frederick and King Rice on their bench isn't enough, it's amazing how much Kevin Stallings looks like Bill Dauterive from King of the Hill ("I'm so depressed I can't even blink"). In fact, Stallings looks more like Bill than King Rice looks like the King Rice that I remember.

9:33 - Unbelievable. Just unbelievable. Hoyas win at the last second after a McRobertsesque walk that went uncalled. Well, there are two ways to look at all the top seeds winning by a point: 1) We should be worried that there are so many other good teams left or 2) None of these other good teams are really all that good. I choose to believe the latter. Of course, I've probably jinxed everything and we'll lose to the Trojans now.

9:40 - Thanks to Greg Gumbel and his cronies for pointing out the egregious walk on the Georgetown game-winner. I really hope our game isn't close. A lower seed is waaaay overdue for some good luck.

9:53 - How about Tubby Smith, by the way! Speaking of which, I met a girl from Kentucky today. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that her eyes were further apart than Sam Cassell's. None of this has anything to do with anything. I really need our game to start.

9:56 - Just figured out why it's so hot in here. I forgot to turn the oven off when I took my chicken out. That was like 4 hours ago.

10:07 - Finally. Tipoff. And you know I'm tickled pink to see Ginyard as a starter. Hate that it had to happen this way, though. Hopefully Reyshawn can still play.

10:12 - A quick log of some of our early jump shots: So far we've had two airballs, one shot that grazed the rim just enough to avoid being called an airball, and a brick from Tyler that somehow died on the rim and went in.

10:17 - Wow, this is a brick fest. They're going to have to repaint our rim at halftime.

10:23 - Leave it to Wes to end the parade of horrible shooting.

10:28 - Reyshawn is about to go off like Jordan in the 1997 NBA Finals when he had the flu and dropped thirty-something. I nominate Wes to play the role of Scottie Pippen and help carry Rey off the court for time-outs.

10:32 - Annoying as she may be, I find myself strangely drawn to the girl in the convertible commercial that doesn't want her hair to get messed up.

10:39 - Following a block with a turnover and then immediately giving up a three-point play, Danny Green just set the world record for the least amount of time needed to make people forget about a good play.

10:45 - Nice job by CBS to flash "USC - Maroon, UNC - White" across the bottom of the screen. I've found myself getting confused all night.

10:51 - Well this is not any fun at all. Down nine at the half. Dave just texted to say, "Kevin just said Bobby couldn't beat one of these recliners off the dribble." I don't know who Kevin is or what he has against recliners.

11:06 - I'm going to go ahead and mentally prepare for the fact that this could easily be the last 20 minutes of Wes and Reyshawn's career. This is easily the worst time of the year. I hate March.

11:17 - Atrocious start to the second half. Simply atrocious. Have we never played against a zone before? Since when does Tyler just float around 15 feet from the basket? When was the last time we shot this poorly? I have dozens of questions.

11:25 - So Rameses was in a car wreck? Not good. And now Danny just broke his own world record--same category. I hate March.

11:37 - Brandan just got shoved in the back while pulling down a rebound and Billy Packer exclaims, "Brandan Wright almost dunked it in the wrong basket!!!" Billy, what are you talking about? We've cut it to three by the way, so I can take a moment to enjoy Billy's lunacy.

11:48 - I'm sorry, how are we up by five? I remember us playing very poorly for a very long time. Then I remember playing slightly better for a fair amount of time. And then I remember playing great for about 17 seconds, and in that 17 seconds we scored about 27 points.

12:00 - Not crazy about shot clock violations at this point, but Roy doesn't seem too bothered, so I'll follow his lead. Also not crazy about having to watch the end of Oregon/UNLV. There are seven people in America that care about that game. Seven.

12:03 - And Tim Floyd loses his mind and goes O.J. Mayo on the refs. What did he throw on the court? A check? A money order? An essay stating that Marcus Ginyard is not only a swell human being, but also a fiend on the offensive glass? Yeah, that was probably it.

12:05 - Text from Dave: "I switched seats when we were down sixteen. Sorry it took me so long." Heels win it. Bring on Hoya Paranoia.

It probably would have been more fun to preview the Texas Longhorns in this space. Think about it. We could have talked about how the Heels would have the chance to be the team that ends Kevin Durant’s playing career. We could have mentioned how Carolina wanted revenge from their 2004 loss to the Longhorns. We could have lavished praise on Hickory’s very own Rick Barnes. But then Southern Cal came along and beat Texas before Carolina got the chance, and suddenly this turned into a preview of the Trojans. Not that the Texas preview was already written on Saturday night or anything.

Honestly, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that the Trojans took out Texas. After all, Texas only posted a Big 12 record of 12-4. Meanwhile, Southern Cal beat almost every team in the Pac-10 while only losing to UCLA (twice), Washington State (twice), Oregon, Stanford, Washington, and Herb Sendek. The first three teams on that list are understandable, the next two forgivable…but Carolina fans aren’t going to cut anyone any slack for losing to Herb Sendek.

The Trojans also lost to the University of South Carolina, a school frequently confused with Southern Cal. Of course, this confusion really only happens in the state of South Carolina. You see, in the Palmetto State, when someone says “USC” people ask if they mean Southern Cal or South Carolina. Everywhere else in the world, when someone says “USC” no one knows South Carolina even exists. You can anticipate more discussion of how the Gamecocks try to shorten their name to a term that another school has already taken when South Carolina pays a visit to Kenan Stadium on October 13, 2007.

During the EATS, many Carolina fans took comfort in the fact that Matt Doherty’s top notch recruiting would soon bring “the twins” to Chapel Hill and all would be rectified in the basketball world (my humblest apologies for making that sentence so difficult to read by interrupting it with two links). Sadly, the twins never became Tar Heels, and Carolina fans were forced to endure three seasons of Raymond Felton, Rashad McCants, and Sean May instead. Our loss was Southern Cal’s (and Kansas’s) gain, as the Trojans landed Lodrick Stewart (the Jayhawks took Rodrick). Look for Lodrick to score 48 points Friday night as he attempts to prove to everyone in North Carolina that he could have played for the Heels.

The exact tip time for Friday’s game is contingent upon the length of the Georgetown – Vanderbilt game (or, if you’re looking at Stillman’s bracket, the BC – Oral Roberts game), but expect it to be somewhere around 9:57 p.m.  This provides a decided advantage to Southern Cal, since to their Pacific Time Zone adjusted bodies it will feel like only 7 o’clock.  Luckily, the Heels were able to convince CBS to give them a late tip time game simulation last Thursday in their exhibition match-up against Eastern Kentucky.

While the Trojans have the time zone advantage, the Heels have the location advantage. After all, the Continental Airlines Arena [located in the Meadowlands Sports Complex (located in East Rutherford, New Jersey)] is the home away from home for the Duke Blue Devils, a team with whom Carolina is quite familiar. Also, a team which is no longer in the tournament…just throwin’ it out there.

Though I’ve never been (it’s Duke’s home away from home, not Carolina’s), I hear that pretty much any ticket in the Continental Airlines Arena is a good one…so, pretty much the exact opposite of any ticket on a Continental Airlines flight.

Basketball roots

College Mentor 

Dean: Coached by legendary Kansas coach Phog Allen, who was himself coached by James Naismith, the inventor of the game.

K: Coached by Bobby Knight, a man renowned for verbally abusing players; advising if a woman must be raped, she should “at least relax and enjoy it;” assaulting a police officer; kicking his own son; and stating his ambition to ultimately be buried face down so that critics can “kiss my @#$%.”

College Playing Experience

Dean: Played on 1952 National Champion Kansas team.

K: Played an NIT game with Army.

Game innovations

Dean: Developed multiple defenses, including the point zone and trapping defenses; invented the Four Corners offense; started tradition of team huddles at the line, pointing to the passer in recognition of selflessness, many others.

K: Introduced game to player floor slapping.

Campus memorials

Dean: State of the art, 22,000 seat domed coliseum constructed and named in his honor, all from private funding.

K: “ Coach K Court” spray painted onto existing floor of 75 year old, antiquated gym; also signed his name to center jump circle.

Views on sportsmanship

Dean: Frowned on player showboating; told players after any celebratory act to “try to act as if you’ve done this before.”

K: Encourages players to shout, chest bump, man-hug, and basically act as if they are the world’s greatest living human being after any made basket.

Dean: Required entire team to run laps after any player was assessed a technical foul.

K: Recognized Matt Christenson as the player who most symbolized Duke basketball shortly after he physically accosted a game official following a Duke upset tournament loss.

Dean: Forbade fans from waving hands behind backboards during opponents’ free throws.

K: Allowed student body to hurl snack cakes, shoes, record albums, condoms, and women’s panties to floor during opposing player introductions; encouraged same students, already notorious for shouting obscenities, taunting/mocking opposing players, etc. – to step up their intensity, “get hungrier,” “understand what the hell is going on here at Duke University,” etc.

International experience

Dean: Coached USA team of collegiate underclassmen to Olympic gold medal in 1976, thus avenging country’s controversial silver medal four years prior.

K: Coached team of NBA All-Stars, including Lebron James and Carmelo Anthony, to a bronze medal after losing to immeasurably undermanned Greece team.

Public service/Social Activism

Dean: Often held team practices at state prisons.

K: Opened usually closed practices to attendees of his corporate leadership seminar, in exchange for additional $1,500.00 cash payment per attendee.

Dean: Spearheaded desegregation in North Carolina, by (1) joining local pastor and theology student in integrating a famous Chapel Hill restaurant; (2) recruiting and playing Charlie Scott, first black player in ACC; (3) assisting Howard Lee, a black graduate student, in buying a home in an all-white neighborhood.

K: Allows black housekeeper to sweep his office.

Famous fervent protests

Dean: In opposing capital punishment, once told North Carolina Governor Jim Hunt, “You’re a murderer, and I’m a murderer. The death penalty makes us all murderers.”

K: Once yelled to a referee, “You killed us,” after tournament upset loss to UConn.

Response to difficult seasons

Dean: After starting 1996-97 season with a disappointing 0-3 ACC record, responded to media criticism by leading team to dramatic turnaround, to go 11-5 in ACC and to Final Four appearance.

K: After starting 1994-95 season 9-3 and 0-1 in ACC play, announced need for season long medical leave due to five month old back pain and “mental exhaustion.”

Response to student criticism

Dean: Responded to student editorial (by S.I. Price) that criticized decision to fund Dean Dome by inviting student to his office to hear and consider his perspective.

K: Called for meeting with Duke student newspaper writers in which he berated students with profanity-laced tirade for assigning sub-A “grades” to team’s performance.

Spiritual Views

Dean: Lifelong, devout church member, closely guided in day to day life by his walk with God.

K: Frequently references the Almighty while berating officials in obscenity-laden tirades during games.

Coaching pedigree

Dean: Includes Larry Brown (winner of both NCAA [Kansas] and NBA [Detroit] titles); Billy Cunningham (coach of 1983 NBA World Champion 76ers); Roy Williams (Coach of 2005 NCAA Champions, five Final Fours, and 7 time National Coach of the Year); George Karl (one of 12 coaches in NBA history to win 800 games); Eddie Fogler (former National Coach of Year at Vanderbilt and South Carolina); Bill Guthridge (Coached two Final Four teams in three years); Jeff Lebo (up and coming coach of Auburn Tigers).

K: Includes Quinn Snyder (resigned after years of futility and scandalous controversy at Missouri), Tommy Amaker (dumped by Michigan after 3 NIT trips in 4 years, last of which ended in 21 point drubbing to FSU), David Henderson (fired after six seasons of futility at recognized basketball power Delaware), Kenny Blakeney (fired as assistant coach of same Delaware team). Also includes sizeable herd of Duke assistant coaches – Dawkins, Wojo, Collins, Snyder, Amaker, Bilas).

Response to NBA opportunities

Dean: Repeatedly declined offers to coach NBA teams, always in confidence.

K: Repeatedly publicized his discussions with various NBA teams; dragged out Lakers “deliberations” for weeks, releasing daily press statements and eliciting more publicity of his 5 year $40 million offer than the Allied invasion of Normandy.

Views on commercialization of game

Dean: Steadfastly refused to allow advertising in Carmichael Auditorium or Smith Center, fearing it would detract from game integrity.

K: Opened practice sessions to corporate bigwigs for fees; authorized placement of more corporate advertisements about perimeter of Coach K Court than a class A minor league baseball park outfield wall.

Dean: Before, during, and after coaching career refused to advertise or endorse products, with the exception of public service announcements, (e.g., encouraging seniors to obtain flu shots).

K: Starred in multiple television ads, including several filmed in part on Duke’s home court, for virtually any corporation that would pay him to do so.

Stillman is supposed to be writing this from my living room, but the Heels baseball team isn't cooperating with that plan...currently they trail Virginia 6 to 2 in the top of the 11th and he's at the game. So he'll be here at some point, and may even take over typing duties, but for now it's myself, the wife, and the wife's friend Natalie.

7:50 - The games today have been about 200 times better than the games Thursday and Friday. Not just because they've all been competitive, but also because I'm currently four for four. Don't worry, while I'll definitely come in first in the Dick's Bracket Challenge, I'm inelegible to win a gift card.

7:53 - Washington State just won't die. And I wish they would, since I picked Vandy.

7:56 - WHAT A BLOCK BY SOME GUY FROM VANDY! Sorry, I don't really follow the Commodores, but number four just saved the game. Double overtime.

7:58 - What the heck? Pitt was up like 40 on VCU (you know, the team that beat Duke) wifth five minutes left, and now it's a three point game with under three minutes to play. I don't have time for that game to get interesting, I'm already too emotionally invested in the Vanderbilt contest.

8:04 - Wow, CBS just up and switched us from Vandy to Pitt with no warning. Then they switched us right back. They aren't even bothering with having Greg Gumbel give us background info. Pitt is going to overtime, by the way. Vandy's up four. Excuse me while I pace.

8:08 - I hope our game doesn't start before the Pitt game ends, but I don't think there's much chance of that happening.

8:11 - Vandy wins! And I'm still perfect. Stillman just called. He might get a ticket on the way here, but he's going to try to make it before we tip off.

8:14 - I can't help but notice that Woody is announcing the game, but I can't see it on my television. Oh...here it is. Meanwhile, Causey's calling. I don't know why, he knows that I don't answer him when he calls before a game. Last time I did that we lost to Virginia Tech (the first time, not the second time).

8:16 - Two minutes in and we still haven't scored. Oh...now we have. Maybe if I just keep typing things that I wish would happen they'll keep happening before I'm done typing.

8:24 - Neitzel has 23 of Michigan State's nine points.

8:26 - Pitt just won. And Stillman just got here. I'd say he brought my bracket good luck, but I was getting all the games right before he got here, too.

8:30 - Tyler's taken his mask off before I've even had a chance to predict when he'd take his mask off.

8:32 - I think the plan is for Stillman to take over this View, but his laptop is still firing up and Kristin has offered him food. He took her up on the offer so quickly I'm wondering if he's eaten since he moved to Fayetteville.

8:40 - Ok, I'm up and running. (This is Stillman, by the way). My afternoon/evening has been something akin to a nightmare so far. My spirits are now slightly boosted by the fact that Brandan just dunked all over somebody's face.

8:44 - Big discussion here about the Drew Neitzel situation. In case you're not aware of the situation, it's this: his name doesn't follow any of the rules (e.g. "I before E except after C"). And Kristin just informed us that there's another rule that I evidently didn't know about: "The first one does the talking, the second one does the walking." This means that the "E" sound should be pronounced, not the "I." And at this point, the length of this conversation is waaaaaay out of proportion to my interest in it.

8:55 - Dick Enberg just said, "The blistering pace of this game really favors North Carolina." All the TV goons evidently learned their lesson in 2005 when they said that we couldn't run with Michigan State in the Final Four. Actually, it might have just been Clark Kellogg that said that. It's halftime, by the way.

9:13 - In an epic battle of offensive ineptitude, UCLA leads Indiana 10-9 with 7:30 to play in the first half. Only those two teams could pull that off. And speaking of pulling things off, I desperately need the Hoosiers to win this game. That would be the only good thing that's happened to my bracket since Winthrop beat Notre Dame.

9:23 - My goodness, these tourney halftimes are loooooooooong.

9:29 - And the Spartans take the lead.

9:31 - And we get the lead back.

9:32 - And the Spartans lead again. I can't take this.

9:40 - Not saying we're going to lose, but this has the back-and-forth feel of one of those tourney games that doesn't pan out well for us. As I type this, Tyler once again shows what a beast he is, and I feel a little better.

9:51 - I'm growing weary of vowel boy. That's Neitzel, by the way.

9:56 - Did Dick Enberg just tell us that Neitzel brushes his teeth with his off hand? Yes, after backing up the DVR (is that an actual term, backing up the DVR?) we can, in fact, confirm that Drew Neitzel brushes his teeth with his off hand.

10:01 - If your name begins with the letters "T-Y," we're very glad you're on our team right now. I can't remember anything happening recently that didn't involve Tyler or Tywon. In fact, Tyler is outscoring UCLA. Wish we were playing them.

10:05 - BOOM!! Steal by Marcus. Three by Tywon. Six point lead. Somewhat less uncomfortable shifting in my seat.

10:14 - I see Reyshawn would like his college career to continue after tonight. Good to know.

10:18 - Yes sir, that'll do it. Big block by Brandan (where has that dude been, by the way?), a free throw from Tyler (who now trails UCLA by two points), and now free throws from Tywon.

10:23 - What an eye-popping, mind-bending, gut-checking, bone-crushing, foot-stomping, nose-breaking, butt-kicking game for one Tyler Hansbrough. What a beast of a human being.

10:24 - If Dave doesn't shut up about his stinkin' 8-for-8 day with his bracket, I'm going to stick him in the eye. With my laptop.

Just two days after defeating Eastern Kentucky, North Carolina will face the Spartans of Michigan State in NCAA second round action. Michigan State knocked off Marquette in their first round game. If there were a consolation game between the Golden Eagles and the Colonels, it’s likely that Marquette would emerge victorious. But alas, it seems pointless to try to console teams that came up six wins shy of winning a tournament in which the champion will win six games.

The Spartans are members of the Big Ten conference, meaning the Heels have a decided advantage coming in to Saturday’s game. The ACC, after all, has owned the Big Ten for centuries in the ACC/Big Ten Challenge. This season, Boston College had the privilege of dispatching the Spartans in the event. MSU finished tied with Michigan for seventh place in the conference this year. Considering the fact that many analysts questioned whether Illinois and Purdue would make the NCAA Tournament, it seems odd that Michigan State got in since they finished behind the Illini and Boilermakers in the conference.

This is the second time in the last three years that the Heels and Spartans have met in the Big Dance. In 2005, Raymond Felton and company demolished Michigan State in the Final Four, pulling off an impressive 16 point victory. The two teams would have met for a rematch in the tournament last year if the Spartans hadn’t lost to George Mason in the first round. In fact, it’s Michigan State’s fault that North Carolina’s season ending loss was so painful last year. Honestly, would you have been as disappointed with a second round loss to Michigan State as you were with a second round loss to George Mason?

Believe it or not, Michigan State has the same number of NCAA Tournament Championships as our friends in Raleigh. The Spartans won their first title in 1979 and their second title at the turn of the century in the year 2000. It’s unlikely Tom Izzo will be able to guide this year’s team to it’s third championship, but luckily he doesn’t have to worry about the Wolfpack winning its third title this season either.

If you had to name the top five basketball players to ever wear the Spartans uniform, you’d probably struggle to come up with that many. Obviously you’d start with Mateen Cleaves, since he’s the most recent star. Then you’d list Magic Johnson, as he’s the best who ever suited up at MSU. But who would round out the list? If you collected basketball cards in the mid-‘90’s, you’d probably list Steve Smith and Scott Skiles…not so much because they were that great, but because you had 100 of their cards. The final player would have to be Ralph Simpson. Not only was he an All-American guard in 1970, but he’s only one letter away from being Ralph Sampson.

This is the last time the Tar Heels will play in the great state of North Carolina this season, so if you’ll be in or around the greater Winston-Salem area on Saturday, go ahead and get your tickets and head to Lawrence Joel for the game. Once you’re home from the game, be sure to report back and let us know whether there are more or less Carolina fans present for this game than there are for a typical Wake-Carolina game in Winston.

9:32 - Ok, we're kicking this one off a few minutes early. And by early, I mean several minutes before our game starts. The night is far from young. In fact, it's almost my bedtime. Fortunately, I'm bolstered by the fact that Duke is floundering yet again. Though I'll be shocked if the refs don't find a way to bail them out here down the stretch.

9:39 - OH MY!!! VCU's Eric Maynor with ice water in the veins!!!

9:40 - NO SIR, GREG PAULUS!!! This is fantastic. Even if we lose to the Colonels, Duke will still have been eliminated before us. Oh wow, I bet my phone is about to blow up.

9:41 - And there's Mom with the first celebratory phone call. Amazingly enough, if there's one person that loves March Madness more than I do, it's Mom.

9:48 - Mom still talking.

9:55 - Dad now.

10:03 - Well, the celebratory voicemails piled up while I was on the phone with them. Friend-of-the-site Dan and Friend-of-the-site Jason both weighed in with a few choice words for our man Coach K. It seems like everyone is forgetting that the real victim here is G.

10:06 - And we have tip-off. I kinda hope we don't lose this one. That would somewhat dampen my joy over the Duke situation.

10:12 - I feel compelled to tell you that we're not going to lose this game. In fact, me might win by 417. It's 15-3 as I type this.

10:19 - The bad news: Planet Earth is still painfully lacking in TV commentators that know how to pronounce Tyler's last name. The good news: We're up 19-3.

10:25 - Dave just called to say that his church league squad played a team that only had four players tonight, and they didn't beat them nearly as badly as we're beating EKU.

10:37 - Now that I don't have much to worry about in this game, it's time to start thinking about things that I did wrong today. I need someone to help me find the guy that held a crossbow to my head and made me pick Oral Roberts to go to the Sweet Sixteen. Seriously, I can't remember if I did that as a joke and then forgot to change it or what.

10:42 - Ok, raise your hand if you're already tired of the "EKU's Adam Leonard looks like the Notre Dame leprechaun!" silliness. If they're campaigning for Leonard to make it into April's Separated at Birth feature, then they clearly don't realize that we have much bigger plans for next month.

10:52 - I'm more than a little embarrassed that we're only up a dozen at halftime. Of course, I guess EKU must be a decent team. They've lasted longer in this tourney than Duke did, after all.

11:12 - The Colonels have cut it to five. While I'm not particularly worried, I'm not making jokes involving Dave's church league anymore.

11:18 - ***Flashbacks to the year that we were trailing Fairfield at halftime.***

11:21 - Another call from Dave. He started out with, "What in the WORLD??" This was followed by a minute and 20 seconds of awkward silence before he said, "I have nothing to say, I'm hanging up now." Colonels cut it to four.

11:25 - The Leprechaun is injured. And they just said he plays for "Eastern Carolina."

11:30 - Nifty little pass from Ty to Marcus for the layup. So nifty that Jay Bilas decided to make a comment on it. I'd almost forgotten that he was part of this game because he's only said about 7 words all night.

11:33 - Did my TV really just switch to the Xavier/BYU game? I'd almost prefer to have Mormons knock on my door right now than have to watch them play basketball.

11:37 - And the Mormons lose. If CBS switches me away again they're going to hear from my congressman. I'm in the state of North Carolina here, folks. Get your act together.

11:45 - It seems we missed a spectacular Reyshawn dunk while CBS was busy showing us the all-important Xavier victory. Of course, in CBS's defense, we're suddenly up 21. Don't know if they had anything to do with it or not.

11:51 - Bilas must have a cold or something. Or maybe he's just uncomfortable being on CBS. But he sounds like he just woke up.

11:58 - Dewey is easily the most popular kid on our team. "Biscuits" is now a national phenomenon. Now for the Spartans...the team we were supposed to play in the 2nd round last year before they choked and lost to George Mason instead of facing us. I wonder if Wichita State refers to us as "the team we were supposed to play in the Sweet Sixteen before they choked and lost to George Mason instead of facing us..."

North Carolina will begin its 2007 NCAA Tournament run against 16th-seeded Eastern Kentucky. Since no 16 seed has ever beaten a one seed, it’s probably a safe bet that the Colonels’ 2007 NCAA Tournament run will begin and end with the Tar Heels. The Heels first (and second) round games will be played at Lawrence Joel Veterans Memorial Coliseum, home of the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. Wake, incidentally, did not qualify for a postseason tournament of any sort this year.

As is the case with all 16 seeds, Eastern Kentucky received an automatic bid to this year’s Big Dance after winning its conference tournament. The Colonels pulled off an exciting victory over top seeded Austin Peay in the Ohio Valley Conference tournament championship, converting a layup with less than three seconds to play to give them a 63 to 62 win. The team was even more excited when they learned they didn’t have to take part in the Tuesday night play-in game, a prize instead reserved for Florida A&M and Niagara.

In addition to the powerhouses of Austin Peay and Eastern Kentucky, the Ohio Valley Conference features many other big names. For instance, Tennessee’s dangerous threesome (Tennessee Tech, Tennessee State, and Tennessee Martin), as well as Murray State and Samford. Samford, incidentally, held Eastern Kentucky to 46 points both times the two teams faced this year. The two split the season series, with Samford winning the first contest 55-46 and losing the second 46-38. Thrillers, both of them.

The Colonels enter Thursday’s game with less than twice as many losses on the season (eleven) as North Carolina (six). Of course, the Heels only lost to one team that didn’t make the NCAA Tourney, whereas Eastern Kentucky lost nine such games. The Colonels two losses to tournament-bound teams came against Ohio State and Kentucky, both of whom Carolina defeated in the regular season. Embarrassingly enough, Eastern Kentucky also lost to Western Kentucky. Few things are worse than being a directional school, but being a directional school and simultaneously losing to a directional school is one of them.

How well does EKU match up with Carolina? Not very. Eastern Kentucky has limited depth (six players averaging double figures in minutes, three players averaging double figures in points) and even more limited height (tallest player listed at 6’8”, out-rebounded by more than 100 on the season). The Colonels biggest advantage may be their experience, as their top six players feature two seniors, two juniors, a sophomore and a freshman. Of course, while Eastern Kentucky may be older, they are less talented. Not to mention the fact that Carolina has more players on their roster this season that have won a game in the NCAA Tournament than Eastern Kentucky has had in its history (the Colonels are 0-6 in the Big Dance).

Eastern Kentucky was known as the “Maroons” until 1963. At that time, the school’s president decided that the University needed a mascot instead of a color as a nickname. No one seems quite sure where “Colonel” came from, but Carolina Water Cooler figures it has some correlation with infamous KFC spokesman, Colonel Sanders (and no correlation with infamous Tar Heel basketball star, Byron Sanders). In 1963, the Colonel’s famous bucket of KFC chicken was gaining rapidly in popularity, and the school was obviously trying to piggy-back on his success.

While only the top 200 Ram’s Club members can order tickets through the University, tickets to see the Heels in action can still be obtained through other channels. The game being played in Winston-Salem provides a unique opportunity for fans to watch the Heels live in NCAA Tournament action, so get your tickets today. And if you see any Wake fans in the arena, ask them what they are doing there.

St. Louis

Butler/Old Dominion - No doubt that this game will be touted as "The team that Carolina beat in Roy's first-ever regular season game as the Heels head coach vs. The team that Carolina didn't get to play in this year's Preseason NIT because they choked and lost to Gonzaga." Clearly ODU carries the more prestigious title there. Monarchs by 7.

Maryland/Davidson - Which team will be able to overcome the fact that Lefty Driesell is no longer their coach? In fact, I bet Davidson is still ticked that Lefty departed for Maryland in 1969. Expect revenge to be a big factor in this one. Davidson by 27.

Wisconsin/Texas A&M-CC - I remember when Texas A&M-CC beat Florida State a couple of years back. I saw it run across the bottom line on ESPN, but I didn't know that the "CC" stood for "Corpus Christi" and assumed that the 'Noles had just lost to "Texas A&M Community College." Just because of that memorable few seconds, I'm picking the Islanders in this one. Texas A&M-CC by 4.

San Jose

Kentucky/Villanova - Nothing worse than a game like this...for two reasons. First of all, it's always painful when two teams that have the same mascot play each other. Every TV announcer on the planet apparently believes that he'll be the first one to make the "I have my money on the Wildcats" joke. And inevitably, his partner will laugh as if he's just recited the entire works of Bill Cosby.

Second problem: my lifetime record in picking the 8/9 games correctly is just astoundingly bad. Look, I understand that the games are too evenly matched for one to expect to be much over .500 when it comes to predicting the outcome. What I can't understand is how I've never in my life picked an 8/9 game correctly. Never. Not ever. My favorite example of this was 2000, when I picked us to lose to Missouri in the first round and Wisconsin to lose to whoever they were playing (Fresno State, maybe?) only for both the Heels and Badgers to make their way to the Final Four. Currently, I'm 0-for-88 lifetime when it comes to getting the 8/9 games correct. You're on your own on this one.

Southern Illinois/Holy Cross - Does anyone else have trouble remembering the difference between "Holy Cross" and "Sacred Heart?" Always been a big problem for me. Along those same lines, does anyone have trouble telling the difference between Southern Illinois and Illinois? Ok, me neither. Holy Cross by 68, due to the fact that Southern Illinois accidentally studies film on Sacred Heart.

Duke/VCU - Sure, Gerald Henderson will be back from what turned out to be nearly a two-week suspension, but don't think for a moment that Norwood Teague, former Tar Heel Sports Marketing guru and now the athletic director at VCU, won't do something to get his Rams fired up for this game. Truth be told, Norwood is one of the most mild-mannered people on the planet, but he used to date Melissa Stark. And that has to count for something. Rams by 4 in OT.

Indiana/Gonzaga - Both of these teams lost to Duke. This season. Weird to think about, isn't it? Hoosiers by 9.

UCLA/Weber State - Frankly, I'm shocked that the selection committee was able to pass up the opportunity of a Carolina/Weber State first-round rematch. What a horrible, horrible night that was. So horrible that I can't wait to see how UCLA fans deal with it themselves. Wildcats 62, Bruins 51.

East Rutherford

Vanderbilt/George Washington - Normally I'd go with GW on this one, but I just don't see how the Colonials can avoid looking past Vanderbilt to a possible second-round matchup with Oral Roberts. What a battle of fine American historical figures that would be...our first president taking on one of the greatest neo-Pentacostal televangelists we've ever known. Too bad that the ol' Looking-Ahead Syndrome will keep it from happening. Vandy by a dozen.

San Antonio

Memphis/North Texas - Jim Lemming, father of Carolina offensive lineman Ben Lemming, played football for the Mean Green. Combine that with the fact that I despise Memphis with all of my being, and this is not a hard pick. Mean Green by 1 at the buzzer.

Quoting Dave from the Boston College View from the Couch: “Geoff and I have decided to root for the Wolfpack in semi-final number two because we still refuse to accept BC, VT, and Miami as members of the ACC.”

“This comes about two days after I finally decided to accept Georgia Tech & Florida State.”
Wayne K., Wilmington

Wayne, Georgia Tech joined in the ACC in 1978. For the sake of you and your loved ones, we’re glad that you’ve come to terms with this.


”Ok....I'm sitting here watching the Maryland-Miami game. WHY, WHY, WHY....is Billy Packer STILL talking about the Tyler foul???!!! It brings to mind that Shakespeare line: "thou doth protest too much." I truly, have a strong dislike bordering on revulsion for BP.....I wish the guys calling these games had a PA doing an IM session where they relayed questions from viewers!!”
Tracy, Wrightsville Beach

Maybe something like this…

heels4ever: yo billy, whut iz up dawg?
billypacker: nuthin. just chillin'. callin' the game. u?
heels4ever: chillin. why do u hate carolina?
billypacker: it all started when i played at wake forest. we went to the final four, but wake hasn't been back since. carolina has been many times. so i hate them. also, i wanted to play at duke in the first place, not wake. though for some reason, i still love duke with all my heart, even though they didn't offer me a scholarship. all of that leads me to conclude that gerald henderson was NOT aiming for tyler hansbrough's nose, and coach k is an all-around swell human being.
heels4ever: oh, cool. later.

“I'll miss the radio show, sort of.”
Anonymous

Well, anonymous, we’ll take that as a compliment. Sort of.

In response to It's Unfortunate...

If you wanted, you could point out that in the 86-63 win over Miami, McBob wasn't in the game only because he fouled out. Just saying...
Charles J.

Nice observation about K's end of game sub policy. I wanted to add that at the end of that of that 22 point win against Wake, McRoberts had a dunk with :49 left and Paulus hit a wide open 3 pointer with 8 seconds left. Thanks for helping to expose that hypocrite.
Brian T.

"Coach K has no class as well as his team! He likes to think of himself as some kind of God to Basketball! He is just a man who thinks of himself as a great coach, the rest of the world sees him as a man who has had some good players who have made him. With or without his coaching the few good players from Duke would have made names for themselves. He is an over paid man with no class at all. He really does not do The ACC justice. For years he has gotten away with his dirty style of play and the refs all in his favor."
Cathy B.

This is us resting our case. Starting with this very sentence, Carolina Water Cooler, will never mention the Gerald Henderson Incident again. Ever.

A few more words about Coach K and the Gerald Henderson Incident...

"Where do you get this "Leader" business? Every time that I see K's commercial he says he is a "Weeder". Somehow that seems more appropriate."
Ron G.

Good call, Ron. Speaking of Coach K and commercials, we find ourselves in a bit of a sticky situation, so we might as well just get it out in the open. Carolina Water Cooler sponsor, State Farm Insurance agent Matt Phillips, was in no way responsible for the most recent Coach K/State Farm silliness.

Another couple of words about the Gerald Henderson Incident...

"I must say this is the stupidest thing I've ever taken the time to read in my life.  You successfully made it seem difficult to take someones words out of context to fit your own interpretation. Congratulations on blowing things out of proportion.  You are officially crowned drama queen."
Anonymous

Just so you'll know, if Duke finds a way to lose to VCU, you'll find yourself wanting to direct some stronger language than "drama queen" in our direction.


“Although I do see the resemblence between our friend and hero Brandan Wright and Joe Camel, I still feel he is more reminiscent of the tall Mon-star from Space Jam (which coincidentally starred the greatest UNC/NBA player ever). Good thing dook fans don’t care anymore, or else they might have gotten him on that one.”
Jonathan C., Chapel Hill

You wouldn't believe how many emails we get about the Separated at Birth feature. It's perhaps the most popular thing we do. We've gotten enough emails comparing Sidney Lowe to the Kool-Aid man to shut down our email server.

“Can you guys explain why Wake Forest fans can't win the caption of the month contest? Other than the obvious fact that their captions aren't any good.”
Ralph S., Statesville

There are Wake Forest fans?

We just found your website. Unbelievable. I want your autograph. You will be famous. I love it.
Tom and Nancy S.

 This is one of the greatest emails Carolina Water Cooler has ever received. Succinct, yet expressive. Concise, yet meaningful. One of its more intriguing aspects is how it changes from “we” to “I” in a split second, causing us to wonder whether the sender is a person with multiple personalities. And if you want our autographs, then clearly we’re already famous. We’ll present you (y’all?) with the first autographed copy of our book as soon as we write a book.

1:38 – Friend-of-the-site Geoffrey has arrived exactly six seconds before tip-off. And he’s sporting his Carolina blue Dublin Gaelic futbol jersey…complete with a map of Ireland on the back. Superstition won’t allow him to wear Carolina shirts during road games.

1:42 – Boy is Roy Williams upset about that out of bounds call. Either that or he’s frustrated with his choice of tie. Could be both.

1:43 – Jared Dudley just broke his nose on Tyler’s mask. Lethal weapon, that mask is. Tyler will certainly take it off by halftime. Geoff just called him “Scuba Steve” because he looks like a snorkeler. I wouldn’t call him that to his face.

1:44 - Bothersome mask or not, Tyler is playing like the proverbial man possessed. Once he hits the big time, I think he can work an endorsement deal out of all of this. Can't you see him doing a TV commercial for these folks?

1:51 – I don’t know if it’s the Raycom/LFN microphones or the acoustics of the St. Pete Times Forum, but you sure can hear a lot of what the players and coaches are saying.

1:55 - Is there a worse commercial than the two people in the library talking about how great the ACC is? I submit to you that there is not.

2:03 – Even if (heaven forbid) they come back from down 12 early and win this game, is Boston College really the fourth best team in this conference? Really?

2:10 - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Seriously, are you kidding? Reyshawn just went up for a layup on a fast break; he got kicked in the groin by Jared Dudley, poked in the eye by Sean Marshall, shot in the back with an assault rifle by John Oates, and then Al Skinner ran out on the court and bit him in the calf, leaving an imprint of those lovely teeth in Rey's leg. No foul was called.

2:12 – Geoff wants to know if it’s proper to button the top button of your polo when you’re wearing it under a jacket, a la Al Skinner’s attire today. Truthfully, I’m not even sure it’s proper to wear a polo under a jacket.

2:21 – It’s always fun to hear somebody (for instance, Jared Dudley) say “and one” on his way up to shoot, and not only not make the shot, but also not get fouled.

2:24 – Boston College has had at least two players argue every foul called against them today. Sometimes five. But at least two.

2:27 - My analysis of the first half: We are killing them, Roy is the greatest coach ever, and we may never lose again. Ever. And just in the knick of time, there's the ACC commercial with the two people in the library to kill my buzz.

2:43 – I don’t understand America’s infatuation with Chuck Norris. I also don’t understand the new Chuck Norris’ head on an ostrich commercial.

2:51 - Jared Dudley just thwacked Tyler in the nose guard. Between the constant running of his mouth, the dirty fouls, the continued whining to the refs, and the incessant flopping, he's easily one my least favorite ACC players of all time.

2:51 – Geoff and I have decided to root for the Wolfpack in semi-final number two because we still refuse to accept BC, VT, and Miami as members of the ACC.

3:07 – I would have voted for Al Thornton for player of the year 37 times before I voted for Jared Dudley. Of course, neither one of them played particularly well against the Heels this weekend.

3:08 - Dudley with another shameless shove of Reyshawn. At least he got called for it.

3:12 – Geoff and I were just noticing how Eric Montross has a rather large nose, yet it’s fairly well proportioned with the rest of his body. We’re assuming that if Stillman was about ten inches taller his nose might look normal, though that’s probably still a stretch.

3:14 - Tyler should just go ahead and wear full body armor for the rest of his college career. Poor guy.

3:20 - Text message from Benji: "I saw Henderson, Zoubek, Scheyer, and McClure at South Point last night. I think K told them not to let Henderson go anywhere by himself anymore. I heard Zoubek use the Lord's name in vain. I wanted to be like 'Don't you guys have a game tonight? Oh right."

3:29 – I think Brandan Wright is invisible. That’s the only way to explain why Boston College absolutely refuses to defend him. And now, up 15 with a minute to go, the subs are sitting in front of the scorer’s table. We actually took a shot clock violation to get them in the game. Roy absolutely will not waste a time out. Won’t do it.

3:31 - Always nice to see Dewey and Co. get in the game in the ACC semifinals. That's a good sign. Some might even call it peaking at the right time.

For Carolina’s first game in the ACC Tournament, I’ve traveled to the city where the tourney ought to always be played – Greensboro. I’ll be watching from the home of one of the site’s closest friends, but because he’s skipping work, he’s requested that his name be withheld from the column. I’ll oblige, but if the Heels win today I’ll be watching the game here again tomorrow…and since he won’t be skipping work tomorrow, I’ll be using his real name then. So here’s hoping the Heels can become the first favorite to pull out a victory in the 2007 tourney.

11:57 – I arrived about 10 minutes ago, but my laptop just now allowed me to open Microsoft Word. If you’d like to contribute to the “Dave’s Laptop Could Stand to be Replaced Fund,” please make checks payable to Carolina Water Cooler.

12:02 – After I ridiculed Boston College just a few weeks ago for playing in a Forum, we’re now forced to watch the ACC Tournament be played at the St. Pete Times Forum.

12:09 – Tyler starts the game wearing a mask manufactured by the Gerald Henderson Elbow Protection Program. I give him 10 game minutes before he takes it off.

12:12 – Our anonymous friend of the site just informed me that he feels like Ferris Bueller when he attended the Cubs game in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

12:13 – Tim Brandt just referred to Ty Lawson as “Ellison.” Can you imagine if Lawson and Ellington’s games were actually merged into a single individual? Unstoppable.

12:14 – Roy is sporting his Technicolor Dreamtie again today. If you’d like to contribute to the “Roy Williams Needs a New Collection of Carolina Ties Fund,” please make checks payable to Carolina Water Cooler.

12:17 – And Florida State commits their 28th turnover to bring us to the first official timeout.

12:23 – Bobby just committed four turnovers on the same possession. Is it still 11 to 6?

12:26 – Thornton just missed a dunk and Echefu missed the follow layup attempt. Not the prettiest game I’ve ever seen. The ugliest, maybe. But certainly not the prettiest.

12:31 – Remind me to get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning to catch today’s episode of The Young and the Restless.

12:37 – As we head into the under eight minute time-out, my anonymous host and I are trying to determine the maximum amount of pizza and garlic bread we can get using his “Savings Source” Coupon Pack. For some reason, we can get a large pizza and breadsticks for cheaper than just a large pizza.

12:41 – Roy Williams and Leonard Hamilton may want to gouge their eyes out in lieu of watching film from this game.

12:49 – My anonymous host is rehearsing his phone conversation with the pizza place before making the actual call. He doesn’t like talking to strangers on the phone. Luckily, he can pretty much just read the order off the coupon (though he did hesitate for quite some time before remembering that we wanted pepperoni pizza).

12:54 – Florida State has cut the lead from eleven to six. No way Tyler continues wearing that mask on after halftime. No way.

12:58 – Lawson converts on two free throws, improving the Heels to 6 for 14 from the line for the game.

1:00 – OH MY! WOW! UNBELIEVABLE! UNREAL! PHENOMENAL! Ty Lawson steals the inbounds after a Carolina 3-pointer, makes a layup, and causes Leonard Hamilton to pick up a technical foul. I’m not even sure who Leonard was yelling at, but that was quite the tirade.

1:17 – Made it back from picking up the pizza just in time to see Wayne Ellington head to the free throw line to shoot the technical foul free throws.

1:19 – Sweet mercy, the lead went from four to 18 in a hurry. Excuse me for a few minutes while I eat my pizza.

1:30 – Surprisingly, Tyler is still wearing the mask. I’m just going to stop making predictions about when he’s going to take it off.

1:32 – Billy Packer just applauded our good “freshman to freshman” ball movement on a pass from Reyshawn to Deon. He deserves some sort of award for journalistic excellence.

1:45 – Q.T. just made a touchdown saving tackle after turning it over at the free throw line. Second and ten, Seminoles.

1:53 – Al Thornton fouls out of what appears to be the final ACC game of his career, and here come the waterworks. He’s had a heck of a career, not gonna lie. He’ll probably make it to the NBA.

1:59 – Lennie Rosenbluth gives pretty much the same interview every time someone sticks a microphone in front of his face. You’d think by now he wouldn’t continue to be amazed that everyone remembers his team 50 years later, but he claims he is.

2:04 – Remind me to get up at 3 a.m. Sunday morning and watch today’s episode of As the World Turns.

2:11 – Dewey Burke and Mike Copeland check in with nearly a minute to go. If Roy had made this substitution against Duke, maybe Copeland’s nose would be broken instead of Tyler’s.

All right, all right, everyone’s been jumping on my case for not saying enough about the Gerald Henderson/Tyler Hansbrough incident last Sunday. People are saying I’ve been skirting the issue. And to that I say, “Hey, T.O., baby!” First people complain that I talk about Duke too much, then they criticize me for not saying enough about them. I mean, what’s a poor boy to do, baby?

But seriously, like I said Monday, I really think the injury was just an unfortunate product of the emotion and passion of this truly great rivalry. Think about it; we see it in all sports. It’s the same kind of passion that caused Mike Tyson to chomp off Evander Holyfield’s ear and spit it onto the tarp. It’s the same emotion that prompted Woody Hayes to punch a Clemson player in the throat after a Gator Bowl ending turnover. It’s the same passion that caused Latrell Sprewell to choke his head coach, and that made John Chaney threaten to kill John Calipari in a press conference. You see, my friends, it happens to even the classiest of individuals. It’s just passion, plain and simple, the same passion that makes this game so great!

And in fairness to Henderson, you’ve got to keep in mind that it was entirely reasonable for him to see this as a legal play. There’s loads of precedent here. Just think about it. Almost a year ago to the day Sean Dockery shoved the same Tyler Hansbrough in the face after Mr. Hansbrough and his freshmen teammates dominated one of the greatest Duke teams of all time in their senior night celebration in Cameron. People also forget that in the first of the Duke-Carolina games this season Hansbrough had to leave the game to have an open wound bandaged. There was no foul called in either of those instances, so how was Henderson supposed to expect one to be called here - let alone a flagrant foul!

But that’s just the tip of the iceberg, my friends. Remember a few years ago when Dahntay Jones whipped his elbow into Raymond Felton’s face? He opened up a good size cut there with no whistle blown. What about when the Dukies split open Eric Montross’ mug a few seasons before that? There again, how can any student of the game expect to be called for a flagrant foul for just taking what the referees have already established to be legal play to the next level?

Keep in mind too, the Dukies were still trying to win this important game at the time. I really think Henderson was just trying to stop the clock by fouling Hansbrough. And can anyone fault the guy for wanting to make sure that play was stopped? With all the trouble Duke has had with stopping clocks this season? It was really a cerebral play by the diaper dandy!

But one thing in all of this is clear: there is no way that this classy kid intended to hurt anybody. Like the great Coach K so eloquently stated, that’s just not the way Duke plays. No, my friends, no matter what you may see on the videotape, an intentional shot to the head just doesn’t fit the Duke playing style that we have all come to know and love. It flat out does not fit! Just like the bloody glove didn’t fit Mr. Simpson. And everyone knows what we learned there: “If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit,” baby!

The other point I want to make about this is that we cannot let this isolated incident sully the reputation of this classy Duke player. I really hate to see it blot out his accomplishments in just this one game. I really saw visions of Jordan in his beautiful jumpers, and can you believe what a skywalker this kid is? Just look at how high he elevated before he opened up Hansbrough’s face! It was awesome with a capital A! And the bottom line is that he flat out carried the Dukies in the first half. I thought Mr. Scheyer said it best when he commented on how much he enjoyed being able to ride Henderson in that game. And I have no doubt that these two players ride one another both on and off the court!

So those are my thoughts on this unfortunate event.

That special time of the year is upon us once again. Time for middle school teachers all across the state of North Carolina to stop teaching, turn on the TV, and allow their pupils to watch college basketball. Time for high school students to sneak a radio in to class and listen to their favorite team play as their biology teacher drones on in the background. Time for college students to skip class altogether so as not to miss a second of game action. It’s ACC Tournament time, and it doesn’t get any better than that…at least, not until the first round of the NCAA Tournament. In order to get everyone in the mood for this weekend’s festivities, Carolina Water Cooler is pleased to provide information about this year’s field that you won’t find anywhere else.

In the early ‘90’s it became popular to refer to the Thursday night play-in game between the eighth and ninth seeds as the “Les Robinson Invitational” due to the fact that N.C. State seemingly always took part in this game while Les Robinson was their coach. That nickname slowly faded once Herb Sendek took over as head coach of the Pack, leading them to a seven seed or better every year after 1998. This season, first year coach Sidney Lowe has managed to carry on the Wolfpack’s new tradition of avoiding the 8/9 game by guiding his team to the tenth seed in this year’s tournament. The biggest danger for N.C. State in their first round game against seventh seeded Duke will be their lack of depth. A couple of unintentional elbows to the face and the Wolfpack will have to rely on Farnold Degand as their primary go-to guy.

So who replaced the Wolfpack as the perennial participant in the 8/9 game? Look no further than Clemson, South Carolina. In the 2007 tournament, for the seventh consecutive year, the Tigers will take part in this prestigious match-up (earning the eight seed and the right to play Florida State). In the 2004, 2005, and 2006 tournaments, Clemson entered the tournament seeded ninth. If you think that Clemson against Florida State seems like a familiar match-up in the 8/9 game, that’s because these two teams played one another in the play-in game in 2001, 2002, and 2003. 2000 was the last time Clemson wasn’t involved in the 8/9 game, though not for lack of trying…the Tigers finished the season dead last in the then nine team conference. However, 2000 was the final year of that odd tournament format which featured 7/8 and 1/9 games on Thursday, with the one seed then receiving a bye on Friday. Very peculiar arrangement, that was.

2007 marks the second season of the twelve team ACC. This means that on Thursday four teams get to sit and watch as the other eight battle one another just to get the chance to play a team better than them on Friday. This season the four schools receiving a first round bye are North Carolina, Virginia, Virginia Tech, and Boston College. Of those four, two of them weren’t even in the ACC half a decade ago. Of course, if proponents of expansion point to the success of Virginia Tech and Boston College in their first few years in the ACC, they also have to reference Miami and just how big an embarrassment they are to the conference. We’re dangerously close to the point where people can argue that DePaul would have been a better choice than the Hurricanes.

Schools located in the state of North Carolina have won 45 of the 53 ACC tournaments in history. Wake Forest is the weakest link of these Big Four schools, having only managed four measly titles (the other three schools are in double digits). Maryland and Georgia Tech are each only one title behind the Demon Deacons, while the remaining two titles were won by Virginia and South Carolina. That’s right, South Carolina has more ACC titles than SEC titles. And also more ACC titles than Clemson.

This year’s tournament will be played in Tampa, Florida. The good news about the tournament being played in Tampa is that most of the people who live in Florida don’t really care about the ACC Tournament, so tickets aren’t as difficult to find as they have been in the past. The bad news about the tournament being played in Tampa is that most of the people who live in Florida don’t really care about the ACC Tournament, which proves that the event should be played in Greensboro every year from now until Clemson takes home the title. In other words, forever.

At this point in the season, Carolina Water Cooler is aware that there are few facts about the Duke Blue Devils we can bestow upon you, our loyal readers, which you don’t already know. We are also aware that 4:00 games on Sunday afternoons make for a brutally long day of waiting for Carolina basketball to commence. For this reason, we’ve come up with a schedule of events sure to make the time pass quickly leading up to the regular season finale against the Blue Devils.

Before going to bed Saturday night: Set alarm for 4 a.m.

4:00 a.m.: Curse Carolina Water Cooler for making you wake up at four in the morning. Then, look at the clock and smile that only twelve hours stand between you and another Duke-Carolina game. Reset alarm for 8 a.m. and go back to sleep.

8:00 a.m.: Snooze alarm.

8:09 a.m.: Spring out of bed and do a couple of jumping jacks to get your blood flowing. Skip this step if you’re out of shape.

8:10 a.m.: Shower, all the while humming Carolina Victory. This will increase your confidence level exponentially.

8:25 a.m.: Breakfast time. Eat a big bowl of Wheaties out of your special-edition North Carolina men’s basketball commemorative package. If you’re like the millions of other fans who haven’t been able to find one of these packages at your local grocery store, but have instead only been able to purchase an unassembled box (no cereal included) for $9.95 from Student Stores, then pour your favorite cereal – because no one likes Wheaties anyway – into the Wheaties box and then pour it back out into your bowl. Wash your cereal down with Gatorade to get your electrolyte levels up. You’ll need them when you’re sweating your way through the game later.

9:00 a.m.: Go to your church’s early service and say a prayer or two that Carolina won’t pee down their leg if they discover that a win against Duke will give them the top seed in the ACC Tournament next week.

11:00 a.m.: Go to your church’s late service and say a prayer or two that Virginia Tech pees down their leg (just like everyone else has done) as they play for a share of the ACC regular season title. Also, it might not hurt to toss up a prayer that Clemson figures out how to win their first road game since the Cliff Ellis Era.

12:15 p.m.: Head to Jim’s Famous BBQ for a big lunch to help you take your mind off the game. Tell them Carolina Water Cooler sent you and your water will be on the house!

1:15 p.m.: Drive over to campus. Be sure to fly your Carolina flags to show your support for the Heels. Wave at others flying their Carolina flags. Feign a back injury if you happen to see anyone flying a Duke flag.

1:25 p.m.: Park in one of the decks on Franklin Street. It may seem like a long walk to the Dean Dome, but you’ll want to go ahead and have your car as close to the post game celebration as possible (assuming people still go to Franklin Street after the commonplace occurrence of beating Duke).

1:30 p.m.: Run down Franklin Street singing the alma mater at the top of your lungs.

1:40 p.m. (or 1:50 for the less in-shape runners): Stop by Joe’s Joint and get a drink to replenish the fluids you just sweated out from your run. Again, mention Carolina Water Cooler and receive unlimited free waters!

2:00 p.m.: Sit in The Pit and think about how badly you despise Duke. Limit the length of time you perform this step if you or anyone in your family has high blood pressure.

Hey hoops fans, it’s me, Dickie V! You know, a lot of people ask me what college program has the best fans in the country. I get asked that question all the time because, hey, you know me, I’m a big believer in the importance of passion. I always try to get myself into the stands at the start of every game, and I really believe I’m as well qualified to answer this question as anyone.

And I can tell you right now, folks, the answer is crystal clear. We’re talking a no-brainer, an M&M’er all the way! I’m talking about the awesome fan base that has evolved through the years of Coach Krzyzewski’s brilliant career at the Camelot of college basketball, Duke University. Ah, there’s so much to love about the Duke fan base. You have to start with the Cameron Crazies, the absolute models of passion! Just look at the dedication they show every year as they convene in a little camp called Krzyzewskiville. Every year, that student body spends day and night sleeping on the cold, soggy ground for the privilege of watching their beloved Blue Devils take on their arch-rival from Chapel Hill. Just think about that dedication for a minute, especially when the Tar Heels have handed them their heads in that game each of the last two years!

And, hey, keep in mind how amazing it is that these students are able to spend day and night in tents for two months of the year and still keep up with their studies. We all know how incredibly smart the Duke students are, and it just says so much that they can sit in those tents, drinking beer, playing cards, basically trashing the place, and still keep those Phi Beta Kappa averages!

But the best thing about the Duke fan base is not just the students who sleep on the grass there. No sir, you’ve got to share the love with the incredible collection of fans who, even though they never went there, pull for the Dukies with the same intensity and passion of someone who did! Now we all know the Duke fans were few and far between during those early lean years for Coach K, and the few there were were not exactly the most demonstrative in the world. I mean, it was paper bag city! But just look at what’s happened in the last 15 years or so. Ever since Coach K finally won that elusive first national title, Duke fans have been crawling out of the woodwork. I mean they’ve been flocking to Coach K’s side like hungry people to a pancake house! It’s a wonder they can build enough bandwagons to hold them all!

And the really amazing thing is how few of them actually went to Duke. About the closest any of them got was that Durham high school off of Duke Street! But you wouldn’t know it from their enthusiasm folks. No sir, these are fair weather fans of the highest magnitude. We’re talking bandwagoners with a capital B! It’s awesome, baby!

Just go to any college hoops message board, and you’ll see them in full force. They post all the time, day and night. They never tire of talking about their team’s greatness. Even after their annual NCAA choke, they always shout in unison, “Just wait ‘till next year, baby!” They’re the Energizer Bunny of college hoop fans! Oh sure, they weren’t there when UNC’s freshman team thumped Duke on JJ’s senior night last year, or when Duke’s senior laden team fell to 4th seeded LSU in the tournament. But one thing is for sure: as long as Duke is winning, these folks will be out in full force, talking trash like a genuine Dukie! Lee Melchionni would be proud!

That’s what you call dedication my friends. Imagine all the time it must take! Just think about it: how many tractor pulls and WWE events must these guys sacrifice in order to show their love for the Dukies? How many NASCAR races and professional bull riding events have they missed in order to stay home with keyboard in lap?

And one other thing about these Duke fans. We all know that many times bandwagon fans are notorious for having no interest in sports where their favorite school has little success. But not with Duke fans, baby! No sir. They never miss a beat. As soon as baseball season arrives, they are right there cheering just as zealously for the New York Yankees. Come football season, they become rabid supporters of traditional powerhouses like the Fighting Irish, the Seminoles, and the Crimson Tide. The bottom line is that these guys know how to pick a winner and cheer for them. It’s so fitting that Coach K has the people by his side.

So hats off to Coach K for cultivating this impressive fan base. It’s really just another testament to his greatness.

North Carolina enters Thursday night's game against the Yellow Jackets just four days removed from a stinging loss to Maryland. The Heels blew a 12-point lead with just over seven minutes to play against the Terrapins in College Park. Georgia Tech did Carolina one better than that, giving up a seven point lead in under four minutes on Saturday against Virginia.

With both teams coming off of such disappointing losses, it will be interesting to see which team comes out with more focus and determination. Carolina will want to try and be that team so they can jump on the Jackets early in an effort to prevent a close game. They’ll want to avoid a tight game for two reasons. First, the Heels haven’t exactly excelled in nail-biters this year, posting just a 3-4 record in games decided by ten points or less. But second, and arguably more importantly, a blowout would render it much more difficult for the announcers to babble on about how the game is being played in the “Thrillerdome.” Seriously, the name of the building is Alexander Memorial Coliseum. Abbreviating those three words as “Thriller” is the equivalent of calling someone Bill when their real name is Sebastian.

The court at Alexander Memorial is dubbed “ Cremins McDonalds Court.” Actually, in fairness, I think it might be “ McDonalds Cremins Court.” And honestly, since Bobby Cremins came out of retirement and took the head coaching job at the College of Charleston, the school may have just decided to call it “ McDonalds Court” and be done with it. Whatever its name, the court bears two giant Mickey D’s logos that make the average human being long for a Big Mac by game’s end.

Taking the court for the Yellow Jackets Thursday night will be a host of young men with interesting names and family lineages. For instance, Ra’Sean Dickey. While you might want to pronounce his name the same way you pronounce Reyshawn Terry’s name, he actually emphasizes the second syllable instead of the first. Meanwhile, Ty Anderson’s full name is actually Tysor Driesell Anderson. The fact that he abbreviates Tysor to Ty makes his first name some sort of odd cross between Tywon, Tyler, and Frasor. Very odd.

But note Ty’s middle name…Driesell. Remember legendary coach Lefty Driesell that we talked about before the Maryland game? Ty is his grandson. That’s right, we’ve now discussed three generations of the Driesell family in the last two basketball previews. While Driesell is Ty’s middle name, it’s also his mother’s last name. Pam Driesell opted not to take Ty’s fathers last name. While she’d probably tell you it’s because when you’re father is Lefty Driesell you want to keep his last name, the real reason is because if she’d taken her husband’s name she’d now be Pam Anderson.

You might be thinking that there can’t possibly be any other Tech players with interesting lineages, but when you find out that Thaddeus Young has a dad named Felton (first name), you’ll quickly change your tune. Couple that with the fact that Matt Causey’s brother Mark was a walk-on at Duke, and it’s obvious that this years Yellow Jackets have the most famous/interesting/random/bizarre family trees in the NCAA.

Switching to non-basketball related facts for a minute (a huge change of pace from the rest of this preview), Georgia Tech is one of those elitist, snobbish, nose-in-the-air institutions that insists everyone refer to it as an “Institute” instead of a “University.” Of course, at least they aren’t like Virginia Tech; the folks in Atlanta are fine with being called the Georgia Institute of Technology, but if you refer to the campus in Blacksburg as Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University (their official name), they throw a hissy fit.

The game tips off at 9 p.m. on Thursday night in Atlanta. With a little luck, Carolina will play two more games in Atlanta this season. But not in Alexander Memorial Coliseum. And certainly not in the Thrillerdome.

Coming off of a (somewhat) impressive sweep of Stony Brook over the weekend, the Tar Heel baseball team will play host to a couple of in-state rivals (for lack of a better term) this week. The Heels begin the week at 7-0, Gardner-Webb is 5-5, and Coastal Carolina sits at 9-1 (and ranked 22nd in the Baseball America poll).

Gardner-Webb

Through ten games Gardner-Webb has played seven different opponents. Creighton, Maryland, and Winthrop all decided they only wanted to defeat the Bulldogs once. Appalachian State (which apparently isn’t as good at baseball as football) decided they only wanted to be defeated by the Bulldogs once. In fact, Gardner-Webb didn’t face the same opponent twice until games five and six, when Andrew Brackman and the N.C. State Wolfpack beat them up pretty badly. At that point, Gardner-Webb was sitting at 1-5 and things didn’t look pretty. A quick victory over Asheville and a three game sweep of Canisius later, the Bulldogs are sitting at .500 entering Tuesday’s contest.

The Bulldogs seem to be a popular opponent for many ACC schools. In addition to the games against Maryland and N.C. State already mentioned, the Bulldogs also face Wake Forest and Clemson later this season. Surprisingly, of the five ACC teams that Gardner-Webb will play this year, zero of the games will take place in Boiling Springs.

Plenty of players on the Gardner-Webb baseball roster share either a first or last name with a member of the Tar Heel basketball team. At 5’7”, Ty Boyles is only four inches shorter than Ty Lawson, though Carolina Water Cooler is willing to bet Lawson is quite a bit quicker. Tyler Johnson is nearly a foot shorter than Tyler Hansbrough…and Will Johnson, for that matter. Wes Cogdill and Brock Miller could probably add their three point percentages together and still not equal Wes Miller’s total. Tim Thomas probably couldn’t run the point with the same skill as Q.T.; though, in fairness, Q.T. probably can’t pitch as well as Timmy.

Tuesday’s game against the Bulldogs starts at 3:00 in the afternoon. It’ll likely be over not too long after that…but hey, this is baseball, so you never know.

Coastal Carolina

North Carolina. South Carolina. Coastal Carolina. What do these three schools all have in common? They’re all “something Carolina.” Were you expecting something more fascinating than that? How about the fact that they are all fairly good at baseball? The three schools have combined for just two losses so far this season.

The Heels are the fourth ACC team to face Coastal Carolina this season. N.C. State is the only one to emerge victorious thus far, while Virginia and Virginia Tech both went home with losses. CCU has also defeated Mountain West Conference member TCU and Big East members Pittsburgh and Notre Dame. Actually, is Notre Dame in the Big East for baseball, or are they like their gridiron counterparts and too good to be associated with a conference?

Unless you spend a lot of time memorizing other schools’ nicknames, it’s unlikely you’re aware that Coastal Carolina goes by the nickname “Chanticleers.” But they do. Apparently a Chanticleer can be a rooster which appears in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, a prominent male vocal ensemble, or a race of angelic humanoids in the game Project Nomad. None of these options seem like a stellar place from which to acquire a nickname, but to each his own.

The Heels and Chanticleers will face off Wednesday afternoon at 3:00. All Coke products at Boshamer Stadium on Wednesday will be a dollar. Times sure have changed since Roy Williams was a little boy. After all, if he’d had a dollar when he was growing up he could have bought ten Cokes.

We had some great chances, but you've got to give credit to Maryland. It's awkward to sit here and credit Maryland, when the only reason they won is because we peed down our dadgum leg. They shot 64 percent in the second half and out-rebounded us, 46-33. My team is only slightly tougher than Saran Wrap. We didn't guard them nearly as well as we wanted to. We didn't guard them. Early in the game they just kicked us as hard as you could be kicked. If Christian Laettner had been on their team, I would have said they stomped us as hard as you could be stomped.

On Maryland's progress throughout the year

At one time they were 2-5 in the conference and have shown great toughness. I know toughness when I see it, I'm just not quite sure how to instill it. They've got themselves right back in it. I apologize for the bad grammar there. I'm happy for Gary. Somebody give that dude a Gatorade, he lost about 3 liters of fluids tonight. It was a tough situation for him the last few years not making the NCAA Tournament, but needless to say his club is doing some great things right now. I'd also like to commend Gary for his swell job of harnessing the momentum from that national championshp and getting his team to the NIT.

On UNC's toughness

You've got to be able to make plays. You've got to be able to shoot free throws. We make free throws look harder than...I don't even know. I'm ticked and I can't come up with a good analogy. There were a lot of things we had to overcome, like Ty with four fouls and some other guys with fouls. I thought we were playing in Cameron there for a minute. So far we've bounced back pretty good after losses. What's that smell??? Oh, it's us getting ready to win the national championship. Sorry, I couldn't do that with a straight face.

Quick! Name a player for the Maryland Terrapins men’s basketball team…

Have you thought of one? Take your time. No pressure. Ok, you should have one by now. Who was it? Was it James Gist? Be honest. He’s probably the answer a lot of people would give when asked that question. Oh sure, he wasn’t the first player you thought of…first you thought of D.J. Strawberry. Then Ekene Ibekwe. And then possibly Mike Jones. But you quickly scratched those names off the list since you were pretty sure they all graduated last year. Amazingly enough, however, they are all seniors (again?) this season.

You’d probably know the Terps roster better if it didn’t seem like it’d been an eternity since the Heels and Terrapins squared off. The reason it seems like it’s been forever is ACC expansion. Sunday will be Carolina’s fourteenth conference game of the season…and the first against the Terrapins. Just how long has it been since the last meeting? Well, Sunday is February 25th, 2007, and the last time these two teams faced was February 26th, 2006. Carolina won that game by 24. They won the game before that by 15. The three match-ups prior to those were 2, 34, and 11 point Tar Heel victories – so it’s probably safe to say the Terrapins haven’t exactly been eager to renew the rivalry.

Maryland is led by head coach Gary Williams (no relation to Roy), who’s trying his best to become as beloved to Terrapin fans as the legendary Lefty Driesell. It seemed he’d accomplished this task in 2002 when he led Maryland to it’s first ever men’s basketball National Championship, but the last few seasons have provided a bit of a setback for this lofty goal. The administration, worried that Coach Williams (Gary, not Roy) might not be able to right the ship, went out and hired the son of the legendary Lefty Driesell, Chuck Driesell. That seems to have done the trick, as the Terps are 21-7 this season, and 7-6 (good for 6th place) in the conference.

While Maryland is a team that most Carolina fans probably haven’t thought much about since the last time they faced the Heels, Terrapins fans don’t particularly care for North Carolina. You know those “The Good, The Bad, The Ugly” t-shirts which feature Carolina as “good,” State as “bad,” and Duke as “ugly”? At Maryland, these shirts define Carolina as “bad” and Duke again takes the role of “ugly.” Does anyone else find this odd? Shouldn’t the Maryland version have their rivals on it? Teams like Maryland-Eastern Shore and the University of Maryland, Baltimore County?

What would an opponent preview be without a brief mascot discussion? Everyone knows that Maryland goes by the nickname Terrapins. (Most) everyone knows that a terrapin is a turtle. But does anyone know the name of Maryland’s terrapin mascot? If you guessed Testudo, you’d be correct. If you’re like most people and guessed Leonardo, Raphael, Michaelangelo, or Donatello, you’d be incorrect. But thanks for playing.

Carolina has produced some famous alumni – Michael Jordan, James K. Polk, and Andy Griffith to name a few. But none of them hold a candle to the alums that have emerged from College Park, Maryland. Great sports names like Len Elmore, Ralph Friedgen, and Gary Williams. Journalism legends Bonnie Bernstein, Tim Brant, Tim Kurkjian, and Connie Chung. Television geniuses Larry David (Executive Producer of Seinfeld), Jim and Jane Hensen (Creators of The Muppets), and Ben and Tony Scotti (Original Syndicators of Baywatch). Also, the guy who invented the artificial pancreas. What was his name? Oh yeah, Robert Fischell.

Tip-off at the Comcast Center is set for 5:30 p.m. and begins a two game road trip for the Heels. With a little luck, Maryland will be looking past Carolina and ahead to their trip to Cameron Indoor Stadium coming up on Wednesday night.

Hey hoops fans, it’s me, Dickie V, back with some more thoughts on this incredible season.

Well, the Badgers won’t occupy the one spot for long. All it took was a trip to upset city, also known as East Lansing, for their winning streak to end. That’s why we call it Judgment Week, my friends. It’s a time when we separate contender from pretender, when the cream rises to the top.

And, hey, speaking of rising cream and judgment week, I just have to come down on those of you who were so quick to rush to judgment against the all-time great college hoopster, Mr. JJ Redick. All season long I’ve heard it over and over: “Hey, Mr. V, how’s your boy JJ Redick faring in the NBA?”

Well, like I said back in December, it was all just a matter of JJ getting some PT, and then we would all see him return to form. Now I don’t like to brag, but how spot on was that? All it took was an incredibly rare injury to Grant Hill, and suddenly JJ has been seeing some real minutes. And just look at how he’s leading the Magic now. Just last week, JJ exploded off the bench with 2-5 shooting in 24 minutes of playing time. It was an awesome contribution to the team’s 78 points in a losing effort to New Jersey. Like I mentioned the other night, JJ has really been getting some serious playing time over the last few weeks. And oh how the Magic have benefited. We’re talking a 5 and 13 record over the past 18 games! Yes, my friends, that’s what a lottery pick will get you!

Not that any of this is a surprise. Not to those of us who followed Mr. Redick’s incredible collegiate career. Ah, it seems like only yesterday that he was dialing up those area code jumpers so perfect in form. And like my buddy Mike Patrick says, he was virtually automatic with the trifecta. Sure, statistically speaking he only made thirty-nine percent of them, but that’s pretty close to automatic. And you better believe he was automatic from the free throw line, my friends! We’re talking the all-time ACC leader in career free throw shooting! Ah, baby, he could flat fill it up from the line!

Now I know a lot of people think he didn’t pass enough, some even say he was a gun, but keep in mind, he averaged 2 assists per game over his collegiate career. That’s right two! And that’s awfully impressive when you bear in mind how much time JJ was put on the free throw line. I mean, hey, Mr. Redick got to the charity line more often that an unwed mother of twelve in an election year. And let’s face it, you can’t dish a dime when you’re toeing the line!

The bottom line here is this: JJ Redick was the quintessential college player. We’re talking one of the greatest to ever lace them up. You can rest assured, his name belongs right up there with the Alcinders, the Waltons, the Jordans, and the Duncans. He even merits comparison to the all-time greatest, one Christian Laettner.

And, yes my friends, the transition to the next level is right on schedule. And I really believe that Mr. Redick is in just the right place for what he has to offer. I mean, just think about it. He’s playing in Orlando, Florida, home of Disney World! JJ is a flat-out natural fit for that town! Just think of the celebrities who reside there. We’re talking Mickey Mouse, Pluto, Goofy! There’s no question that Mr. Redick will continue the tradition of excellence for which these celebrities are so renowned!

• Just because a broadcaster comes across as having a harsh, abrasive personality while he's on the air, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's like that in real life. However, in Billy Packer's case, it does mean this.
  
  
• Here at Carolina Water Cooler, surely we're not the only ones that wish Jeremy Hyatt was still playing for the Wolfpack. Incidently, a google search to determine the whereabouts of the best pink player ever to don an N.C. State uniform yields information about another chap with a similar name: Ronald Jeremy Hyatt. Perhaps you know him simply as Ron Jeremy. Too bad we didn't know about this when Mr. Hyatt was playing at State.
  
  
• One kid rolled into the Dean Dome proudly sporting his Herb Sendek t-shirt. Let it go, man. Just let it go.
  
  
• Sources have informed Carolina Water Cooler that one popular poster in State dorm rooms depicts a shirtless Engin Atsur, cradling a basketball, along with the words "Turkish Delight." Carolina Water Cooler has declined from commenting.
  
  
• It's understood that sound only travels so fast, but the complete lack of coordination among fans during the "C-A-R-O-L-I-N-A" cheer is downright disturbing.
  
  
• You know what they say about your wife: If she's still nagging at you, you're ok. It's when she gives up and stops trying altogether that you're in trouble. Well, it's the same way with Roy and the refs. If they screw up a little bit, he'll let them know. But when he just gives them a quick glare and then ignores them, you know they've done something very, very bad.
  
  
• It's been said here before. It will be said here again. Most importantly, it's being said here now: "QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ!!!!!!!!"
  
  
• It's pretty obvious that Bobby practices his halfcourt shot on a fairly regular basis. You can see him calculating his time and distance and trajectory and wind resistance. Good money says he shoots 50% from back there during practice.
  
  
• It's nice when Danny hits a three. It's fun when Wayne drills one. But when Marcus Ginyard knocks one down, it's a party.
  
  
• They should be sure to keep that footage of Dean Smith covering his ears while everyone cheered for him at halftime. They could use it for the next "Get Off Your Seat and Make Some Noise" video montage.
  
  
• "He who knows not and knows not that he knows not, he is a fool. Shun him. He who knows not but knows he knows not, he is simple. Teach him. He who knows and knows not he knows, he is asleep. Awaken him. He who knows and knows that he knows, he is wise. Follow him." - Bruce Lee (and no, this has absolutely nothing to do with basketball or Carolina in any way, shape or form).

Wednesday marks a huge day for the North Carolina athletic program. That is, if you define huge as “there are games in two sports that Carolina Water Cooler covers.” Or you could also define huge as “there are games against two different in-state opponents.” If you prefer not to use those definitions of huge then Wednesday may just be an average day for Tar Heel athletics.

Wednesday afternoon the Diamond Heels will take the field in Wilmington to battle the Seahawks of UNC-Wilmington. Later on that evening, the Hardwood Heels will lace up their sneakers and prepare to face the pesky Wolfpack from N.C. State. While the two Carolina opponents play two different sports and are located approximately 130 miles apart, they have a thing or two in common.

For starters, each team gets a game at home and a game on the road against North Carolina this year. While typically in baseball teams play an opponent three days in a row, teams located relatively close to one another are able to split their games against one another up (other teams that play the Heels but not in back-to-back games this season include Gardner-Webb, Coastal Carolina, Elon, UNC-Greensboro, East Carolina, and Davidson). This arrangement benefits North Carolina, as it can schedule a mid-week game without the team missing a ton of class, and it benefits Wilmington because their revenue increases when the Heels come to town. In basketball, Carolina and State play twice because the ACC mandates it.

Both schools also have a lot of followers who refer to Carolina as “UNC-Chapel Hill.” UNC-Wilmington fans mostly do this to avoid confusion, but deep down it probably has something to do with the fact that they feel like if they can’t shorten their school’s name to plain ol’ “UNC,” no one else should be able to either. N.C. State fans do this because they think it bothers Carolina fans (in reality, it just makes it take longer for Wolfpack fans to reference the Heels, but that’s neither here nor there).

Speaking of fan bases, both Pack basketball fans and Seahawk baseball fans get up for games against North Carolina. Actually, this similarity may or may not be true. It’s entirely accurate to say that State fans get excited when their team plays Carolina in basketball, but Carolina Water Cooler doesn’t have a lot of experience with UNC-Wilmington baseball fans. And by “doesn’t have a lot,” we mean “doesn’t have any.”

Amazingly enough, during the off-season both teams were hurt by the loss of one of their stars. After Herb Sendek took the head coaching position at Arizona State, Andrew Brackman announced he would leave the basketball team in favor of playing only baseball (a sport in which he could conceivably be the first pick overall in the draft after this season). Meanwhile, for the Seahawks, catcher Jonathan Batts was drafted in the 49th round by the San Francisco Giants. Of course, Batts actually elected to return to college after seeing where he was drafted, so it was pretty much just the State basketball squad that got the short end of the stick on this one. But since they lost a player and their coach, it averages out to one key personnel loss apiece for the two schools.

Finally, both teams have players Carolina will want to watch out for. For the Wolfpack, it’s Courtney Fells, who scored 21 points on 8 of 11 shooting (including 4 of 5 from beyond the arc) in State’s first game against the Heels. For the Seahawks, it’s Wednesday’s starting pitcher Jon Cantrell as well as freshman pitcher Brandon Padgett. While this is the first start of Cantrell’s career, he graduated from East Chapel Hill High, and people who do that tend to put on some of their better performances when they get a chance to play against North Carolina. Meanwhile, Brandon Padgett is from Dave’s hometown of Statesville. What other reason would you need to keep an eye on him?

The baseball game against the Seahawks will begin at 3:00 Wednesday afternoon. If you can’t make it to Wilmington, you can always catch the rematch when UNCW rolls in to Chapel Hill on April 3rd. Of course, that’s the day after the NCAA Men’s Basketball National Championship, so it’s possible you may be tired from doing a lot of celebrating the night before. The basketball game against the Wolfpack tips off at 9:00 in the Dean Dome. The Heels need a win to stay on pace with Virginia (that’s right, Virginia) in the race for first place in the conference. The Pack needs a win to clinch a berth in the NIT.

Well this is a special night. For the first time all season, Friend-of-the-Site Geoffrey, Dave, and myself are all watching the game together. I'm more excited about this than I was about watching from the second row in Cameron Indoor Stadium a week and a half ago. On a sadder note, it's also my last Saturday night as a resident of Chapel Hill. Hopefully that won't throw a monkey wrench in the season.

8:53 - Dave has provided a tray full of chicken nuggets from a restaurant who I'm not going to mention until they decide to be a sponsor on the site. But I'll give you a hint: bovines play a large role in their marketing campaign. Of course, Dave won the tray of nuggets in some sort of competition...no way he'd drop 20 bucks on chicken for Geoffrey and I.

9:04 - As Tyler knocks in a jump hook to start the game, Dave proclaims that we're going to blow them out. Glad to see we're keeping the expectations tempered.

9:09 - One of these days Tyler is going to break a backboard. Or at the very least, shatter one of his hands on the rim. If Dave dunked, just once, with the force that Tyler does, they'd have to amputate his arm just above the elbow because of the massive damage to his fragile physique. Fortunately, since he's just over four feet tall, this won't ever be a problem.

9:16 - Bad couple of shots for Bobby. An airball, followed by a desperation heave from 30 feet that went off the top corner of the backboard as the shot clock expired. Landing a shot somewhere in between those two would be about right.

9:20 - Dave just said we have to put the lid back on the BBQ sauce because it's bothering his nose. I'm dead serious. He said that. Fortunately, Tyler's most recent three-point play has made me forget that I have to eat my chicken nuggets without any sort of condiment.

9:26 - Just noticed that Roy apparently didn't get hammered before getting dressed for the game like he usually does. He's got a nice suit, with a regular ol' Carolina Blue tie. None of this plaid tie silliness with poinsettias and marijuana leaves on his jacket. Geoff says Roy could wear a clown suit and he wouldn't care.

9:38 - Al Skinner with the technical foul. Impressive. Geoff says: "And I was just getting ready to call him the Art Shell of college basketball." I have a new nickname for him, actually. Can we all agree that Al should simply be known as "The Orthodontist?" You don't have to decide right now if you're with me or not.

9:51 - And we go to the half. Reyshawn nearly just hit a buzzer beater while fading out of bounds behind the backboard. He should at least get a point for degree of difficulty.

9:58 - Do Georgetown and Villanova play every week? Dave swears that they play every Saturday at noon, and come to think of it, I think he's right.

10:08 - So here's how we spent the entire halftime period. We tried to name all of the teams in every major conference as quickly as possible. Every conference has one team that always takes a while to think of, and it's always a team that isn't a state name. In the PAC-10, it's Stanford. In the Big Ten, Northwestern and Purdue. In the SEC, Vanderbilt. In the Big 12, Baylor. Thankfully the second half is now underway.

10:13 - Reyshawn just messed up a fast break and then dropped the ball off his leg out of bounds two possesions later. I still love him.

10:18 - We tried to name all of the NFL teams by division during the commercial break. The NFC was easy, but we ran out of time before we got through the AFC. I bet this is what Dewey and Copeland do on the bench.

10:23 - Dick Vitale just exclaimed, "OHHH, HE GOT FOULED!!!" after Ty got clotheslined on a fast break. Yes, Dickie. Thanks for clarifying.

10:28 - Made it through the AFC teams that time. It was a struggle, but we made it happen. Are the Colts seriously in the AFC South? That's the only way we can make it work. And Reyshawn breaks a 61-61 tie with a big three. Dave still doesn't like him.

10:32 - Text message from friend-of-the-site Dan: "What do you think of Sean Marshall's ant farm haircut?"

10:38 - Tyler plays like a fish that somebody just tossed up on the dock. About every other play, he does something that makes it look like he's been shot.

10:43 - Big three from Reyshawn. Big, big three. Huge. Enormous. Gigantic. Gargantuan. Titanic. I did all of this without a thesaurus.

10:50 - Very tense moments right now. This game reminds me of the UConn game two years ago, when we won despite the fact that we didn't have Rashad and got blocked by the Huskies 47 times. Don't know why, it just reminds me of that game.

10:52 - Does Jared Dudley do that annoying little Reggie Miller scissor kick to draw contact every time he shoots a three? How else does he get fouled this often? Nothing gives me more joy than seeing that punk brick all three free throws.

10:55 - Ok, we're in arms-locked position here on the couch, likely for the rest of the game. I'll be unable to type for a while.

Assuming the Position Left to right: Stillman, Dave, Geoff

10:58 - Marcus. Ginyard. So. Very. Clutch. Ok, back to locked arms now.

11:02 - Ty. Lawson. Also. Clutch.

11:03 - Big win boys. Big, big win. I won't go through all of the synonyms again. But I will probably name all of the Major League Baseball teams by division on my way home.

On doing the radio show each week…

What fascinates me, what intrigues me, what entertains me about it…that would be nothing, nothing and nothing. The people who call in are some of the dumbest individuals on the face of the planet. But it’s one of those necessary evils I guess. Sort of like Coach K. Actually, I guess now that I think about it, K is just an evil…I wouldn’t classify him as “necessary.” I try to have fun with it, but it’s something I’d rather not be doing, and there’s no question about that. Would you want to have to listen to a series of idiots on the telephone for an hour a week? The crowd at Spice Street, they do a great job. They laugh at the people on the phone who don’t have any sense. They laugh at my jokes. I mostly like them because they laugh at my jokes. I’ve got a huge crowd that comes every Monday night and we have fun. Unless we’re coming off of a loss, then there’s very little fun involved. Kind of like practice, now that I think about it.

But if you think about it, how many people would want to have an open line to people that they don’t know, can’t see – if they’re a North Carolina, NC State or Duke fan – question what they’re doing for a living? Unless Dean Smith is calling the show to give me his two cents, I don’t think too many of the people calling in have anything smart to say. It is what it is. It’s a bunch of baloney. It’s something that we do as part of the radio/TV package. I’m actually kind of surprised people still listen to the radio with TV being around as long as it has been, but I guess that’s a testament to Woody Durham. If you asked me if there was anything that I do weekly that I would like to get rid of, there’s no question, it would probably be something like that. I hear that’s what Carolina Water Cooler is doing…just up and getting rid of their radio show so they can focus more on their writing and whatnot. Because I could relax, I could go to dinner with my wife, I could sleep, I could watch tape, I could practice an hour longer… Obviously when I say “I” could practice an hour longer, I mean I could coach practice a little longer. I don’t do a lot of running or anything in practice. Don’t get me wrong, I could…I’m not Rick Majerus. I just have more fun watching the kids do it.

How do you start preparing this far back for the tournament?

Gosh, I think there’s so many ways to do it. I’m not going to list them all here; evil…I mean, Coach K, might be listening. There’s no question, in my mind, that you have to be playing well once it starts. Sort of the opposite of how a team like Wake Forest typically enters the tournament. I guess Wake is a bad example this year, since they probably won’t be in it, but you get my point. I hate to admit this, but I’ve been very fortunate. If I’d been unfortunate I’d be able to toot my own horn. Darn my good fortune. I’ve been to the Final Four five different times, and we’ve never won our conference tournament. That’s something I plan on rectifying this season. But we were playing pretty well all of those times. I say “pretty well” because we didn’t win the National Championship. Except in 2005. Even that team I think I could have had playing a little better if I’d had another season with them. So, just being able to play well that first day, you gain some momentum and then play well that second day. Remember Oakland and Iowa State? That actually might have been a little better than “playing well,” but I’ll take it. Then you have four days of practice and guys start talking about wanting to play next week. Then you take the rims off the basket and they really get anxious to play in a game again.

On Ty Lawson’s play down the stretch versus Virginia Tech, and if Coach Williams still has confidence in him…

Of course I still have confidence in him. What is this, the radio show? What kind of dumb question was that? Go back and look at tape from 2004. Actually, you won’t know what you’re looking at, so let me save you the trouble… Raymond had it in his hands a few times, and he was a sophomore. And we lost. Many a time. Too many times for me to sit here and re-live them all. In 2005, he had it in his hands at Duke, but he played pretty darn well after that. Would have been nice if he’d started playing pretty darn well one game earlier, but ah well, that season turned out pretty well. So I don’t think that anything that happened (in the last game) is going to make me lose confidence in him – in any way, shape or form. He’s still going to get the majority of the minutes at the point guard spot, if that’s what you’re asking. I don’t worry about that part of it. We’ve got two other very capable point guards if I ever do start worrying. Ty made a mistake at the end of regulation. I told him about it. He didn’t penetrate and make the play that he should have made. He won’t do that again. The last play when he comes down the court after the missed free throws…he might have held the ball a split second too long, but if we’ve got a slow clock operator, we win the game. I’m not saying if we were Duke we’d have one less loss…that would make us cheaters. I’m saying if Duke were us, they’d have one more loss.

Regardless of what has gone on anywhere else in the civilized and uncivilized world – if the clock operator is four-tenths to five-tenths slow, Wayne Ellington makes one of the most unbelievable shots ever to win a game. When I say civilized I mean the Dean Dome. When I say uncivilized I mean Cameron Indoor. I wouldn’t have explained that to you, but you sound like somebody that’s called the radio show before.

This weekend, North Carolina will make its second appearance of the season in College GameDay’s Saturday night game. The first game was played in Chapel Hill between the Heels and the Yellow Jackets of Georgia Tech. This time, Carolina won’t have the luxury of playing before a crowd of fans wearing blue and doing anything they can possibly think of to be seen on ESPN for two seconds, even if it means not paying attention to the game going on right in front of them. No, Saturday that advantage will belong to Boston College (except their fans won’t be wearing blue).

What color will their fans be wearing, you might ask? The answer is yellow. Unless you ask a Boston College alum, who will try to persuade you that those t-shirts all the students wear are gold. But have you ever seen a gold t-shirt? Really? The school colors, though, are officially gold and maroon; they were unanimously approved by a student vote in the late 1800s because they are papal colors (BC is a Catholic school). After the colors were approved a banner was sewn by women attending the New England Conservatory of Music. The banner was waved at every Eagle event until one day it mysteriously disappeared. Lacking a true rival, Boston College has no one to blame this puzzling disappearance on.

The school colors have managed to survive through the vanishing banner mystery and are still worn by Baldwin the Eagle, the school’s mascot (Baldwin has no relation to Saginaw Spirit mascot Steagle Cobeagle the Eagle). Similar to the manner in which Seton Hall uses their Pirate mascot to dupe small children into pulling for them, Boston College has a children’s club called “Baldwin’s Bunch” which gives kids the opportunity to attend special events with Baldwin throughout the course of the year. At first, Carolina Water Cooler thought calling the eagle Baldwin was some sort of joke regarding Al Skinner’s (lack of) hair, but the mascot has actually been at the school longer than the men’s basketball coach.

But speaking of Al Skinner, the Heels have a little bit of history against him. Sure, he brought his team into Chapel Hill last season and left with a seven point victory. True, the Eagles were able to sneak by Carolina in the ACC Tournament last season, as well. But are there any match-ups that go a little further back? As it turns out, prior to taking the helm at Boston College, Skinner was the head coach at the University of Rhode Island. In fact, Skinner led them to the NCAA Tournament in 1993, where they faced the Tar Heels and fell by a final score of 112-67 in the second round. 112 to 67. No wonder he wanted to beat the Heels so badly last season.

The Eagles bring a lot of experience to the table Saturday, with seniors Jared Dudley and Sean Marshall leading the way. It’s a sophomore, however, in Tyrese Rice, who will attempt to contain Carolina’s freshman point guard Ty Lawson. The over/under on the number of times Rice heads to the free throw line is currently at 13 (the over/under for Lawson is 3).

Saturday’s game will tip off at 9:00 p.m. in Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts, at the Silvio O. Conte Forum. Carolina Water Cooler has heard of a lot of different words for a basketball arena…“arena,” “center,” “complex,” and even “indoor stadium.” But “forum” is a new one to us.

It’s finally arrived. Stillman has been counting down the days to college baseball season since last year’s Major League Baseball season ended (so, for about two weeks now). This Friday the season starts for North Carolina, but even following last year’s trip to the College World Series, where the Heels came within one win of bringing home the National Championship, most of Chapel Hill is unaware that it’s beginning.

That’s a shame, because if this season brings half as many memories as 2006 brought, then a lot of people are going to be missing out on…well, a lot of memories. Carolina Water Cooler will be here most, if not every, step of the way to keep you up to date on the successes of this year’s squad (failures will be ignored entirely).

The first series of the season is a three game home stand against the Pirates of Seton Hall. Seton Hall struggled mightily last season, finishing with a 17-34 record. They won exactly one third of their games. Man in the hat says that’s not very good. Rob Sheppard has coached the Pirates for three seasons, and in all three they’ve finished with 17 wins. This year he’s shooting for 18, just to keep everyone on their toes.

These two teams squared off early in the season last year, with North Carolina taking all three games. The Heels won the final contest of the series 21-2, the second most runs Seton Hall allowed in a single game all season ( West Virginia scored 28 against the Pirates later in the year).

Carolina’s baseball schedule looks strikingly similar to Duke’s basketball schedule in that 22 of their first 23 games are at home. The lone road game comes next Wednesday when the Heels travel to Wilmington to face UNC-W. On second thought, the Blue Devils would never go on the road to face a dangerous team like the Seahawks. The fact that the season opening series against the Pirates will take place at Boshamer Stadium bodes well for the Heels…Seton Hall finished last season with a road record of just 3-20 (one of those three wins actually came against Duke).

A quick glance at Seton Hall’s roster reveals that they, too, have something in common with Duke University – all but five players are from the state of New Jersey. Of the five not from New Jersey, three are from New York, one is from Oregon, and one is from Washington. None are from North Carolina.

Seton Hall’s marketing department allows the school’s Pirate Mascot to appear at events outside of University functions if his presence is requested. In order for the mascot to appear at your event the school requests that you provide him with “a place to change and, at minimum, a supply of water.” Carolina Water Cooler is considering purchasing a Rameses costume and providing his services at birthday parties and the like. We would charge a small fee, and, of course, ask for a supply of water. Also, since neither Dave nor Stillman have any free time, we’re accepting applications for the position. Apply within.

The Heels and Pirates play on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at 3:00, 1:00, and 1:30, respectively. It appears the weather will be a little chilly for all three games, so if you plan to attend you may want to bundle up.

02/08/07 Post-game Cheer Street

Great job last night, guys! Our school spirit was really evident in our awesome cheering.

Our hand waves to the opposing players during in-bounds passes were quite possibly better than they’ve ever been in the thirty years that we’ve done this! And it really seemed to have an impact at times, too! We noticed that Hansbrough actually shook his head one time before rolling his eyes at us. That’s the kind of distraction we want to create.

Kudos too for the awesome costumes! The Batman and Robin suits were just too cool! It’s so great to mix in new outfits like that. The blue face paint and basketball heads are classics, but we really show our creativity and cleverness when we dress in five year-old Halloween costumes like that!

And we really need to congratulate the team for their awesome defensive effort. Now we can add Hansbrough to the list of UNC players who have left the floor bleeding with no fouls called! (Eric Montross and Raymond Felton are the others if you’re curious).

Now for some final Tar Heel mocking:

Can you believe that the Carowhina students are complaining about us chanting “Dumbo” to Brandon Wright? Honestly, how petty can you get? Didn’t they watch the freakin’ game? Did they really expect us to just sit there and be polite when he wouldn’t stop dunking on us? It seemed like every five minutes he was throwing down one thundering two hand slam after another. And he came really close to bending the rim on one of them! Well enough is enough! We have nothing to apologize for there!

And laugh out loud at the Tar Heels too for having the nerve to complain about free throws – again! They think it’s some big deal that we had 19 attempts to their 9 -- if you take away the 9 free throws that they got off of our intentional fouls in the final ninety seconds. Can you believe that? First they complain that we get so many more free throws all the time. Then, when we try to balance things out by intentionally giving them nine attempts, they cry about that too.

One closing note: We have been asked to remind all students that Krzyzewskiville needs to be cleaned of the garbage that has mounted over the past ten weeks. Our groundskeepers ask us to advise all students that your mother does not work here (unless you are Chris Duhon or Carlos Boozer), and neither does her butler or maid. Let’s take pride on the grounds outside Cameron since there’s nothing going on inside to write home about.

• People make some truly bizarre wardrode decisions before heading to the Dean Dome. One particular lady was wearing an extra long sweater and boots. No sign of pants of any kind. Just an extra long sweater and boots.
  
  
• Virginia Tech's decision to play outstanding defense is apparently not dictated by whether or not they're playing at home.
  
  
• Think back to Tywon's first-half blistering drive to the basket, followed by a three-pointer, followed by another length-of-the-court dribbling that would have resulted in a Brandan Wright dunk if the ball hadn't grazed the fingers of a Virginia Tech defender. Ty did all of this immediately after giving the tired signal.
  
  
• It's not hard to picture Seth Greenburg as a football coach. This is rare for many basketball coaches. Just try to envision Roy wearing a headset while roaming the sidelines. Hard to picture isn't it? Dave Odom is too short. Paul Hewitt is too tall. Rick Majerus is too fat. Mark Few is too skinny. Pete Gillen's hair is too red. But Seth Greenburg...that's a football coach if ever we've seen one.
  
  
• Roy is the master of the final play before halftime. Wayne's three-pointer as time expired was the latest proof of this. Remember also the play Roy drew up for Brandan at the end of the first half against Virginia in the Dean Dome. And don't forget Bobby's 30-foot three-pointer against Arizona last season. Actually, that last one may have had more to do with Bobby than Roy.
  
  
• Jury is still out on Roy's end-of-the-second-half play mastery.
  
  
• Props to Charlie Scott for wearing his Mr. Rogers sweater to the game.
  
  
• Anytime Roy slaps the scorer's table so hard that you can hear it in downtown Carrboro, a technical foul is probably justified. That said, anytime Roy feels the need to slap the scorer's table so hard that you can hear it in downtown Carrboro, he's probably justified in doing so.
  
  
• One issue stands above the rest when it comes to divisiveness within the Carolina fan base. It's not the issue of where students should sit in the Dean Dome or if Ty is better as a freshman than Raymond or if Billy Packer hates Carolina more than Len Elmore. No, the most controversial issue is whether or not the Blues Brothers are cool or the worst second-TV-time-out-of-the-second-half entertainment ever conceived.
  
  
• Ah, the ol' Ronald-Curry-is-hurt-and-can't-shoot-his-free-throws trick. Had to know that was gonna come back to bite us eventually.
  
  
• Lots of long, hyphenated phrases in this edition of Random Thoughts. Based on the outcome of the game, we'll be banning the use of hyphens on the website at least until the ACC Tournament.
  
  
• Though we were never huge fans of conference expansion, Carolina Water Cooler now officially recognizes Virginia Tech as an ACC team.

North Carolina and Virginia Tech both enter Tuesday night’s game fresh off of blowout victories over in-state rivals. Of course, Virginia boasts an 8-3 record in the ACC, even after their loss to the Hokies, while Carolina’s beat down of Wake Forest dropped the Deacs to 2-9 in the conference. Also, the Demon Deacons aren’t really Carolina’s “rivals.”

While both teams head into the contest following easy victories, the Tar Heels enter the game with a little more incentive – revenge. Back in January, Virginia Tech defeated the Heels 94 to 88 in Blacksburg. While the final scoring margin makes it appear as though it was a good game, it was actually one of Carolina’s oddest outings of the season. The Heels jumped out to a 17 to 9 lead before the first television timeout. At that point, Marcus Vick made his way to the court brandishing a firearm and threatening Carolina’s players. By the time Vick left and Roy Williams felt it was safe for his team to re-take the floor, the Hokies led 66 to 44 (after halftime, Virginia Tech accidentally scored 27 points in the wrong basket before realizing their mistake). A valiant comeback attempt by the Heels cut the lead to three, but the Hokies were able to hang on for the victory.

At the time, Carolina was the top ranked team in the country, so it was only natural that Virginia Tech fans would storm the floor. If you’d like to re-live the post game celebration from that game, framed panoramic photos of the immediate aftermath are on sale (10% off if you order before February 19!) at hokiephotos.com. If the Heels pull off the win Tuesday night in the Smith Center, Carolina Water Cooler will be selling framed panoramic photos of whatever moment from the game makes the best picture...obviously we face the disadvantage of being ranked too high to storm the court after beating Virginia Tech.

You know who might storm the court if they could score a victory over the Hokies? Marshall. Actually, Marshall did beat Virginia Tech this year, but I don’t think they stormed the court…which is a little surprising, considering they improved to a mere 4-8 after the win. Other teams who have wins over the Hokies this year that you might not expect include Western Michigan, Southern Illinois, George Washington, and N.C. State. If that list of teams isn’t motivation for the Heels, I don’t know what is.

North Carolina leads the all-time series against the Hokies 55-11, which is dangerously close to being as embarrassing as Clemson’s 19-118 mark against the Heels. Virginia Tech has never played against the Heels in the Dean Dome, though, so it’ll be a while before they are able to match Clemson’s futility in that department.

Before the gridiron contest between these two schools, I asked what a Hokie was in my preview of Virginia Tech. My inbox was instantly flooded with messages from Hokie fans and grads (and even former players). Following are a few snippets from said emails. The first explains what a Hokie is. The second explains why Virginia Tech uses a turkey for their mascot. The third, I believe, was a joke:

“ The HOKIE name came about in the late 1800’s after Tech was founded. A spirited VT student was attempting to write the lyrics for a VT fight song. He needed a worded to fit the theme and lyrics of the song and of his imagination coined the term “HOKIE.”

“The turkey as the mascot came from our military past. We were an all military school until rather recently. In the cadets’ rush to mess it was observed how they gobbled down the evening meal... hence gobblers and hence the turkey as the mascot.”

“A Hokie is what you like to be called when you are embarrassed to be called a turkey or a gobbler.”

So there you have it…the last word on Virginia Tech’s nickname and mascot situation. Carolina Water Cooler would like to thank all of our loyal Virginia Tech fan readers for their contributions to the site.

Tuesday night’s game will air on Raycom/LF at 8:00 p.m. As an aside, would that network kindly pick one name and stick with it? First they were Raycom, then they were Jefferson Pilot, then Raycom/JP, then Lincoln Financial, now Raycom/LF. Maybe next week Carolina Water Cooler will change its name to Tar Heel Water Cooler just to confuse people.

Did you know that Coach K has a daily podcast through iTunes? I hate him.
Lindsay C., Durham, NC

This question was clearly directed at Dave, as Stillman has no idea what iTunes is. The music he listens to hasn’t been made since eight track tapes were popular. But no, we did not know that Coach K had a daily podcast. The question is, does he charge you $40,000 every time you download it or is it a one time fee?


On Duke's loss to Virginia...

This is a clever marketing ploy by the folks in Bristol, but we here at Carolina Water Cooler are hesitant to have a letter sent on our behalf. You see, instead of showing important collegiate sporting events on ESPNU while ESPN is showing a World’s Strongest Man Competition and ESPN2 is showing a split screen of Billiards and Poker, we’d prefer they just put the Carolina/Virginia game on one of the channels we already get. It’s not that we’re opposed to having another ESPN, we’d just like the ones we already have to stop showing crap. Also, we’re afraid the U would make our cable bill go up.


Emails sent to Senior Duke Correspondent, Brian Allen...

Brian says: "Thanks, glad you enjoy them.  I have to give the credit to Duke for giving me inexhaustible material."

Note from the Editors: We foresee the Caps Man becoming a big part of Carolina Water Cooler Mailbag lore in the future.

Just a quick note: All thoughts in blue are brought to you by friend-of-the-site Dan. That's his official title, friend-of-the-site Dan.

• Sure, this Wake Forest team isn't very good, but they're only one Tim Duncan, one Randolph Childress, and a couple of Billy Packers away from being pretty solid.
  
  
• How many distractions can a single game handle? As if two former national championship teams being in the house wasn't enough, the game included a bird flying across the court, coaches wearing tennis shoes, and yet another showing from the World's Least Enthusiastic Fan, John Edwards.
  
  
• You know you've attained the highest possible status in life when you no longer have to clap at a Carolina basketball game, no matter what happens on the court. This privilege is reserved for only the most elite. Joe Quigg, Jimmy Black, Warren Martin...these guys still clap during the game. But as for the highest social order: Perkins, Worthy, Rosenbluth, Jordan, Makkonen...you won't find them clapping for anything.
  
  
• There's a good chance that Alex Stepheson's arms are thicker than his own thighs.
  
  
• In one partcularly bizarre moment during the game, someone called Jordan's cell phone only to ask to talk to somebody else. Who in the world has access to MJ's cell phone number, has the cajones to call it during a game and then not even want to speak to him?
  
  
• This from friend-of-the-site Eleanor (yes, the site has many, many friends): Despite John Edwards' complete incompetence when it comes to being a good fan, his wife Elizabeth is actually quite passionate.
  
  
• This is nothing that hasn't been said verbatim in several previous editions of Random Thoughts, but Marcus Ginyard should play every minute of every basketball game ever played.
  
  
• James Worthy may have some sort of dyspeptic problem. He seems to burp quite often.
  
  
• Has there ever been a name that sounded less like a National Player of the Year than "Lennie Rosenbluth?"
  
  
• Is Michael Jordan the most famous person in the world. It's probably not debatable that he was in the '90s, but is that still the case?

1. Complete and utter lack of parity - Weber State. Santa Clara. George Mason. N.C. State. No one likes to see us lose to teams like that. And in women's basketball, it doesn't happen. How else do you explain Duke and Carolina facing each other with 24-0 records on the line? A team ranked in the Women's Top 25 has never lost to a team not ranked in the Top 25. Of course, that's a heinous lie that I just made up moments ago, but it's almost believable isn't it?

2. Doris Burke in the Booth - She's a sideline reporter for men's games, but they let her do the color commentary for women's games. While this means you hear her voice a lot more, she actually gets less face time. This is a good thing.

3. No dunks - Many people have wondered just how electrifying David Thompson would have been as a player if dunking had been allowed in the college game during his career. But Thompson once said that he preferred the no-dunking rule because it takes more skill to catch an alley oop and kiss it off the glass than it does to catch the ball and slam it through. And how can you disagree? Watching Tyler dunk on someone's face is much less thrilling than watching Duke's Alison Bales score while jumping so slightly that you couldn't even slide the Carrboro phone book under her feet.

4. No 10 Second Rule - Remember the time that Ed Cota decided to walk the ball up the court so slowly that he didn't make it across halfcourt in time, and he got called for 10 seconds, even though the opponent wasn't even pressing? It was the most embarrassing moment of my life, so I can't imagine how bad it was for Easy Ed. But that horrible moment would have never happened in women's basketball, because the 10 second rule doesn't exist.

5. Sylvia Hatchell's Wardrobe - If you're ever feeling depressed about Roy's most recent jacket or tie selection, just flip over to watch the ladies. Sylvia can make Roy look like Tommy Hilfiger himself. Granted, her attire for the Duke game was decidedly lacking in polyester and was shockingly easy on the retinas, but that's the exception and not the rule.

6. Celebrity Guests - Roy Williams and Sam Perkins were both in attendance for Thursday's game at Carmichael. When was the last time the men had star power like that in the crowd? Seriously, is John Edwards the best they can do? Look, nothing against smarmy politicians who hate middle class America, the free market economy, and the Bible, but I'll take Big Smooth any day of the week.

7. Body Armor - Those gaudy knee braces that Ivory Latta and Alex Miller wear, Joy Cheek's massive shoulder brace. I wouldn't be shocked to see Lindsey Harding show up at Duke's next game with a helmet. You don't get that stuff from the men. From Barry Bonds, maybe. But not from Marcus Ginyard.


8. Palatable losses - Losing to Duke is about 47 times less painful when it's the women.

With Stillman forced to watch the game from Cameron Indoor Stadium, I’ve been left in charge of the View from the Couch. I hope I don’t screw it up. The wife has made chocolate chip pie for this glorious evening, and friend of the site Geoffrey Causey has arrived to watch the game with us. Before the main event, however, we've got the final two overtimes of the 1995 Duke-Carolina to watch on DVR. Let's get started…

8:32 - Couple things to note here. First, in 1995 ESPN was still in that "let's write everything in lower case the way the kids are doing" phase. Second, Dick Vitale sounded a lot younger in 1995. Mike Patrick, not so much.

8:34 - With apologies to Roy Williams, is there anything better than watching Dean Smith roam the sidelines?

8:35 - I don't remember a lot about Jeff Capel except for "the shot." I remember always thinking he was better than Jason, but after watching this first overtime I'm not sure why.

8:38 - I'm a little confused as to how the Heels blew this lead in the first overtime. I know the game goes to double overtime, but it's a 9 point lead with 1:30 to play.

8:41 - HOW was Cherokee Parks STILL at Duke in 1995? Didn't he play on both the 1991 and 1992 National Championship teams at Duke? And the 1986 Final Four team? Seriously, he looks older than Greg Oden.

8:42 – Still not sure how we blew an 8 point lead with 22 seconds to play.

8:44 – How are we going to give up a 6 point lead with 5 seconds to play?

8:45 – Oh, that's how they blew it. Darn you, Jeff Capel.

8:51 - Carolina just scored 4 points in a tenth of a second. Seriously, a tenth of a second. It took the scorekeeper 30 seconds to realize what had happened and put the second basket on the board. Apparently the scorekeepers at Cameron have never been that competent.

Alright, with the narrow victory from 1995 now fresh in mind, let's try and blow them out here in 2007. By the way, keep in mind that if the Heels lose this game there will be no radio show this week…

8:53 - Stillman has reported in from Cameron with his first text message of the night: "Second row. Near Duke bench. Surrounded by dweebs."

9:00 - Well, we just had the first heart stoppage of the evening. When we flipped the channel to ESPN it said "Blackout." Luckily, the game is airing on WRAL. So much for Dick Vitale bingo.

9:04 - Moments from tip off, and Stillman has already sent another text message: "Three of their cheerleaders look like the pony my dad had when he was growing up." What he left out was that he once made out with a Duke cheerleader. Seriously.

9:07 - Well, Reyshawn Terry…Stillman's X-factor…just died on the court. More accurately, David McClure just killed him with a malicious undercut.

9:09 - It's 10 to 4 Duke and Causey is still complaining that Duke's first shot was a two even though they were credited with three points.

9:11 - Stillman text message: "I fear for my life."

9:16 - Good to see Wayne has found his shot.

9:17 - And right on cue, Wayne with the airball.

9:20 - Looks like they may refer to this one as "The Bloody Tyler" game.

9:22 - What is this, rugby? What a dog pile that was. Stillman's just sent another text: "If Coach K was a TV show my mom wouldn't let me watch it." Apparently he's close enough to hear Duke's leader let loose the occasional "dagummit."

9:26 - Brandan probably got picked on a lot as a kid, but he's lucky he's got long arms.

9:28 - Well, it took a Reyshawn three followed by a Reyshawn rebound and assist to Tyler, but we seem to have settled down.

9:29 - Causey just informed us that the Duke band is playing a song by Cascada. I'm not sure why he knows that, nor who Cascada is.

9:32 - Greg Paulus just tried to defend Deon Thompson. Moments later, Deon was called for a technical. The two aren't events weren’t related, but they happened so closely together I didn't have time to press enter.

9:41 - Have I mentioned how lucky Brandan is to have such long arms?

9:51 - Amazingly, Duke only leads by five at the break. It could easily be fifty five.

9:57 - A halftime call from Stillman. It was difficult to hear him over the noise in the background, but I managed to decipher, "I feel like I just stepped into the world's largest Star Trek convention."

10:09 - I hope Mike Paulus is twice as good at football as Greg Paulus is at basketball.

10:13 - Any chance Ty has a younger brother who wants to play here once Ty leaves?

10:23 - Duke just got their shot blocked and got the rebound plus a fresh 35 on the shot clock. Roy caught their little attempt at cheating, though. Ol' Roy ain't that dumb.

10:28 - We were just starting to wonder if Stillman was still alive when he sent this: "K is always holding a clipboard but never writing on it."

10:34 - Wes Miller for three!!!!

10:44 - Scheyer's streak of 40 straight made free throws just ended. The announcers didn't really make a big deal out of it because they were too busy talking about how big a mistake it was to foul him. He promptly missed another one.

10:47 - 5:15 to go and Carolina has just taken the lead for the first time. Let's not give it back.

10:53 - Stillman just texted: "Seem to have wet my shirt." I'm not sure what that means, exactly. Seconds later he texted: " Roy just had one of his blackouts." They just showed him on camera and he looks fine now, though.

10:58 - I cannot imagine how huge Tyler's eyes must be not only for his contact to just pop out every game, but also for the team manager to be able to spot it in the lane FROM THE BENCH. And Stillman chimes in with, "Tyler should get rec specs."

11:01 - Tonight's winning power ball numbers are: 22 04 28 37 52 10. Boy does WRAL take their responsibility to inform gamblers that they’ve lost seriously.

11:04 - Scheyer fouls out with 26 points…15 over his season average. What is it with people having career games against us?

11:05 - After watching him shoot free throws with 30 seconds left, maybe we could just call this "The Bandaged Tyler" game.

11:08 - And Stillman's final text message of the night: "Folded like a cheap K-Ville tent." I think he's spent more time typing on his phone than watching the game. And with 12 seconds left, I'd prefer he wait until the horn sounds to say that.

11:11 - Paulus finally fouls out after committing his 13th foul of the game. And with that, K drops to two games under .500 against the Heels, Duke loses their third conference game in a row, and Carolina wins their second in a row over the Blue Devils (in Cameron, no less). Rivalry over.

Cheer card for 02/07/06 Duke-UNC game

A. Introductory comments:

1. Welcome to our game of the year! This is where we really need to show our stuff. Remember, we don’t want to look like fools again on national television by having camped outside for two months in the cold, only to see our team lose again to our bitter rival. Let’s be sure to make the difference!

2. A word from Coach K: Just to enforce the above, let me say we all need to be hungrier here at Duke University. I’m afraid I have really spoiled you students, even more than when you first arrived here, which really says a lot about my accomplishments. You have all grown too complacent, and it was clearly your fault that we lost to Virginia Tech and FSU. Do not let this happen again, or I may very well consider an offer to coach in the NBA.

B. Now on to the cheers:

1. As always, we need to show how proud we are of Coach K! Let’s remind the nation of his huge international accomplishment over the summer by chanting, “Mike won the bronze! Mike won the bronze!”

One caution: The few UNC fans in attendance may respond with a chant of “Dean won gold,” (as if anyone cares about something that happened 30 years ago!) We doubt they will actually think to do this, since they aren’t nearly as smart as we are, but if they do, let’s quickly drown that out with, “Bronze is better! Bronze is better!” Don’t worry if it makes no sense -- remember, we’re the Cameron Crazies.

2. We’re sick and tired of hearing the jokes about our cheerleaders. Sure, UNC’s are better looking, and they do gymnastics and difficult acrobatic stunts and stuff like that. But cheering is about school spirit, not physical superiority. Besides that, our cheerleaders are smarter! So whenever our cheerleaders take the floor during timeouts, be sure to chant, “SAT” just to remind people of what’s really important.

Also it would help if at least a few of our male students would feign interest in the cheerleaders. Remember, guys are supposed to like girls. At most colleges they even take them on dates and stuff. Regardless of your orientation, at least pretend that you find them attractive. Think of it as taking one for the team!

3. Remember, our default cheer is to bob up and down and chant our most creative cheer of all, the famous, “Uhhhhhhhhhhh…” Don’t be alarmed if you find yourselves doing this for 99% percent of the game. Better that than silence! This one, more than any, really makes us look cool! As cool today as in 1975 when we first started doing this. Take pride in this tradition!

4. When an opposing dribbler loses the ball, remember to lift your arms in an alternating up and down motion, put on your best dorky facial expression, and babble as though you were a true idiot. The arms should be stiff and moved in a spastic fashion.

a. Tips: Study Greg Paulus game film for the appropriate arm technique. For good facial expressions, be sure to study still images of Scheyer. Listen to Sean Dockery interviews for appropriate verbal sounds.

b. Caution: Remember, do NOT do this when Greg turns the ball over. The temptation will be great, as he will give countless opportunities. But, please, remember he is our point guard and not to be mocked.

(1) Instead, try to shift attention away from the turnover. Chant BS when the refs signal the possession goes over to the other team.

(2) If Greg reaches 8 turnovers, start chanting “Dickie V, Dickie V!” That way, he’ll start gushing over us and kill a good ten minutes or so.

5. Please remember: whenever an opposing player fouls out – in this or any game – EVERYONE is to shake their right hand, chant “Uhhhhhhh….” in unison, and continue the chant until the player sits down. We then shout, “See ya!”

This is totally hysterical! We’ve only been doing it here at Duke for about thirty years, so it’s still relatively fresh material, too. So come on, get with it! We need to show the nation how creative we are!

6. Let’s use the overrated chant if we’re still within 20 at the two minute mark.

Remember, we are the Cameron Crazies, so let’s live up to our name!

When ACC schools released their basketball schedules in the fall, it’s doubtful that many people looked at the Duke – Carolina game scheduled for February 7th and said, “Carolina will come in to the game fresh off of a loss to N.C. State and Duke will have lost two straight.” But as the week of the game arrives that’s the exact scenario that’s played out.

You often hear Carolina fans say that they don’t look forward to playing a team that’s coming off of a disappointing loss…especially Duke. And while that is typically the case, this Wednesday night’s game may be the exception to the rule. Even though Duke has lost two in a row and will obviously be hungry for a win, the Tar Heels just lost to a weak N.C. State team and will also be eager to take out some aggression on the Blue Devils. Compound that with the fact that Carolina has light years more talent than Duke, and you find that most Carolina fans are looking forward to the showdown in Cameron.

In fact, the entire nation is looking forward to this matchup of Top 5 teams. The Tar Heels come into the game ranked fifth in the country, while the Devils have a stranglehold on the first place position. What’s that? You thought Florida was the top ranked team in college basketball? Not according to the official site of Duke athletics (look right in the center of the page, just before the schedule starts…if it doesn’t say “Duke’s AP Rank #1,” that means I finally figured out a way to hack in to their website and fix this outright lie). The only thing more shocking than Duke’s administration lying about their ranking is the fact that N.C. State’s administration isn’t hosting a parade after cracking the “Other’s Receiving Votes” category this week.

Wednesday night’s battle will be Duke’s 24th game of the season, 17 of which have taken place in the cozy confines of Cameron Indoor Stadium. So when you hear Blue Devil fans complaining that five of their final seven games of the season are on the road, be sure to remind them that 71% of their first 24 games were played in Durham.

Though Stillman will contend that the outcome of the game hinges upon which Reyshawn Terry shows up to play, the bigger X-factor will be which officiating crew shows up. As everyone in the ACC knows, Duke and North Carolina get all the calls. However, only one team can get all the calls when the two play against one another. So which officials will appear? Will it be the referees that claimed it only took 0.6 seconds for Clemson to steal an inbound pass and hit a three or the referees that have allowed Tyler Hansbrough to score 429 points this season even though he has walked no fewer than three times each time he’s touched the ball? The answer to that question will be the true deciding factor of the game.

Had Duke won on Sunday against Florida State, their leader (who also coaches basketball), Mike Krzyzewski, would be seeking his 700th win at Duke Wednesday night. As it stands now, he’s only looking for win 699, which is just as well, as the last thing Greg Paulus needs is something else to add more pressure to the game against the Heels – the guy already commits more turnovers than Rex Grossman and Joe Dailey combined.

Wednesday night’s game tips off at 9 p.m. and will air on ESPN and the Raycom/Lincoln Financial Network. If it sounds odd that two stations will be carrying the game, keep in mind that last season’s game on Senior Night in Cameron aired on ESPNs one through seventeen, ESPNU, ESPN Classic, CBS, ABC, NBC, TNT, TBS, USA, CMT, MTV, BET, Fox, FoxNews, FSN, WB, VH1, Animal Planet, TLC, and Lifetime. It should be noted that Lifetime only carried the game on tape delay upon learning that J.J. Redick had cried at the game’s conclusion.

Hey hoops fans, it’s me, Dickie V! Well, the wait is over. The game of the year is upon us! It’s Duke and Carolina, the greatest rivalry in sports!

Fortunately, we get treated to this ultimate showdown twice a year, the only difference being venue. People often ask me which gym I like better: Cameron Indoor Stadium or the Smith Center. Now this is going to surprise some people, I’m sure, but I really think the nod for the greatest college venue has to go to that small, cozy, somewhat old gymnasium located in Durham, North Carolina. It is the Mecca of college basketball, we’re talking the center of the universe, baby!

Ah, there are so many reasons to love Cameron. You can start with that awesome name. So many basketball arenas use boring words like “coliseum” or “auditorium.” But at Duke, with all that brain power, they come up with an ingenious phrase – “Indoor Stadium.” How great is that! It’s so classy, so quaint, and yet so descript. It really sets Cameron apart from all of the outdoor basketball stadiums across America.

And speaking of distinctions, you just gotta love the layout of this facility. A lot of people work under the misimpression that it is poorly designed for broadcasters. But I’m here to tell you, there is no better place for the ESPN broadcast crew to be. I just love being nestled up there, right under the steel girders, so close to Mike Patrick that we don’t have to even try to hug each other throughout the game. So many of the modern gyms insist on putting the broadcasters right there at center court. Seems like they all do it to the point where it really gets monotonous. We’re talking boring city, my friends! It’s such an awesome change of pace to be stuck up in the rafters where the heat and humidity really give you an in-the-game feeling. And, hey, let’s face it, putting me courtside would be big-time hazardous to my health, what with people like Mr. Paulus throwing the rock around!

The other great aspect of working in the rafters is that it gives me an opportunity to marvel at the overall beauty of this building. I get a bird’s eye view of that classy “Coach K Court” logo that was spray-painted onto the court. What a unique way of saluting Duke’s incredible coaching legend! Here too, it just sets Duke apart from the others. At so many other schools, they honor their coaching legends and other important figures by naming buildings after them. We’re talking about Rupp Arena, Smith Center, Pauley Pavilion. But not at Duke University. No sir, here they name the existing floor of a 70 year old gym after their beloved coach!

And just look at how classy the surrounding area is. Have you ever seen such professional O’Reilly Auto Parts ads? Or State Farm? Or Verizon Wireless? And I just love that one for the Washington Duke Golf Course. What a sight! And these advertisements really say so much for Coach K. Why, you ask? Because many coaches would be hesitant to turn their home floor into a collection of billboards. Some of the uppity crowd might frown on it as, say, tacky. But Coach K isn’t like that. No sir, he is a man of the people, and he doesn’t mind if Cameron has the appearance of a Class A baseball park. Again, it just speaks so much of the man’s security and confidence!

And the last thing I have to say about what makes Cameron the uno number one basketball venue in America is that it is entirely dedicated to college basketball. There are no distractions here, my friends. So many schools these days have those incredibly good looking cheerleaders and dance squads that take over the court at every dead ball. Just look at those High Kicking Heels at UNC, for example! I mean, seriously, how is a man supposed to concentrate on stats and the like with beautiful women like that dancing all around the court? But it’s something you’ll never see at Duke my friends. No sir, the Duke cheerleaders have faces made for radio cheers, and that’s really the way it should be. Come to think of it, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen an attractive woman in the building. That’s what you call keeping your focus on the game at all times, baby! It’s really just another testament to Coach K’s genius. There’s not a detail that ever escapes this man’s mind.

So those are just a few of the reasons why I can think of no better place to watch a game than classy Cameron Indoor Stadium. It’s awesome with a capital A!

Wake Forest (three times). Duke (five times). Georgetown. Kentucky. Maryland. Florida State. Clemson. Georgia Tech (three times). Virginia (twice). Texas. Santa Clara. Illinois (though not in the National Championship). Southern Cal. Miami. Boston College (twice). George Mason. Gonzaga. Virginia Tech.

What you’ve just read is a comprehensive list of all the teams that have beaten North Carolina since the last time the Wolfpack took out the Heels. Twenty-eight losses. To 18 different teams. In 128 total games. And that’s just basketball. You should see the football list.

The Heels enter Saturday’s contest at 20-2 overall and 6-1 in the conference…good for first place in the ACC. N.C. State enters the game at 12-8 overall and 2-5 in the conference…making them one of five teams with two conference wins. No ACC teams have fewer than two conference wins. But, to be honest, the Pack have two more than most people expected them to have this season.

In 2006, N.C. State advanced to the NCAA Tournament for the fifth straight year. And for the fifth straight year, they failed to win the National Championship. The second sentence of this paragraph is the reason a lot of State fans celebrated when Herb Sendek left Raleigh for Arizona State. The first sentence of this paragraph is why a lot of Wolfpack fans aren’t terribly smart.

Taking over for Herb Sendek was former Wolfpack point guard Sidney Lowe. Lowe inherited a cupboard that can only be described as bare. Engin Atsür. Courtney Fells. Gavin Grant. Ben McCauley. Possibly Brandon Costner. That pretty much sums up all the State players you would have heard of heading into the 2006-2007 season. In fact, those five guys have played 98.3% of the available minutes for N.C. State this season. Give or take 30%.

While State didn’t play an exceptionally strong non-conference schedule, they also didn’t lose any games they were expected to win. Loss to West Virginia? Respectable. Alabama? Strong team. Cincinnati? Ok, we’ll have to draw the line at Cincinnati. But seriously, with the squad Lowe took over, it’s amazing he was able to beat UNC Greensboro. Granted, it took overtime, but the Pack made it happen.

Sidney Lowe has assembled quite the coaching staff in Raleigh. Former N.C. State players Monte Towe, Levi Watkins, Quentin Jackson, and Justin Gainey are joined by former Pittsburgh standouts Pete Strickland and Larry Harris. For the record, Strickland and Harris are just placeholders until Lowe can convince C.C. Harrison and Jeremy Hyatt to retire from their incredibly successful European basketball careers.

It’s been a while since an opponent preview included a detailed history of the evolution of the school’s nickname. Let’s rectify that. N.C. State has been known as the Wolfpack since 1922, when an angry fan wrote the school newspaper to say that the football team “acted like a wolfpack” and would never be a winner. Carolina Water Cooler isn’t exactly sure how a wolfpack acts, so we’ll take this guy’s word for it. Prior to this nickname, the school’s athletic teams were referred to as the Farmer & Mechanics (which is far too long), the Aggies (which North Carolina A&T stole), the Techs (which they realized was a little dumb), and the Red Terrors (which George W. Bush went to war against). As you can see, the name “Wolfpack” is probably here to stay.

Saturday’s game tips off at 3:30 p.m. at the RBC Center. A lot of people are unaware that RBC stands for Royal Bank of Canada, which explains why the stadium is a hockey arena first and a basketball complex second. That and the fact that the Hurricanes have won a championship much more recently than the Wolfpack. If you can’t make it to Raleigh on Saturday, the game will air on ABC, which his only one letter different from RBC. Conspiracy? I think not.

Hey hoops fans, Dickie V here, back with more analysis of the game that is my life. As we start to head full-swing into the second half of the season, it’s a good time to pause and reflect on the key pre-season questions that I identified back in October. The answers, my friends, are coming into focus, so here goes:

1. Can the Florida Gators Repeat?

It’s the first question everyone was asking: can the Gators become the first team to repeat as national champions since Duke University in 1991 and 1992? Ah, it’s still so hard to believe that it has been that long. I can remember that Duke dynasty like it was just yesterday. We’re talking the team of the century, an indomitable force that was led by the lethal combination of Christian Laettner, Grant Hill, and Bobby Hurley. That’s right, my friends, three 3-S men, all on one team! Ah, those PTP’ers brought us so many magical moments! Mr. Laettner’s impossible turnaround J to defeat Kentucky! Mr. Hill blasting to the sky to slam that high lob! Coach K orchestrating the biggest upset in the history of the world as the Dukies knocked off the same UNLV team that spanked them like a back-talking stepchild the year before! And who could forget Thomas Hill crying like a baby after Mr. Laettner’s shot heard round the world? It was the ultimate in passion, in emotion, in intensity! The world has never seen such a story line! It was awesome with a capital A!

But to answer the question, no, I don’t think Florida will do it.

2. Will the General, Robert Montgomery Knight, pass Dean Smith as the winningest all time Division I coach?

Well, we all know the answer to this one. It’s a done deal as the General captured win number 880 to pass Michelangelo! Both of these coaches won the right way with integrity. You can see it in so many ways, including the players they put out. Did you know, for example, that Coach Knight once coached a scrappy point guard by the name of Michael Krzyzewski? And then, knowing a star when he sees one, the General made the greatest decision of his lifetime when he offered Mr. Krzyzewski an assistant coaching position at West Point. The rest, as they say, is history! Mike Krzyzewski became known as Coach K, the greatest coach in any sport, in any country, at any time. As the great Carly Simon once said, “Nobody does it better!” I mean, just look at this legend’s success. Three national championships – THREE – in only thirty years of coaching! And such a classy guy too! He is the IBM, the Rolls Royce, and the Taj Mahal of college coaches combined. And you know something else? He will be the one to break his mentor’s record in the not too distant future!

But congratulations to Coach Knight for now! We love ya big fellow!

3. Will we have another two man race for player of the year honors?

Last year was so special as we watched two awesome players vie for the national player of the year award. We watched in awe as JJ Redick, the greatest pure shooter to ever lace them up, went neck and neck with, uhm, Morris Adams, or something like that; you know who I mean, that skinny kid from Washington State with the scraggly hair.

And oh what a magical race it was. Who will ever forget those incredible area code jumpers that Mr. Redick dialed up at will! Or the way he lit it up against Texas in an earlier season heavyweight match-up that quickly turned into yet another blow-out? Who could forget his absolute dominance from the free throw line? And let’s not forget his biggest accomplishment of all: breaking Dickie Hemric’s all time ACC scoring record! He was the three-S man all season long! Oh, and Alan Morris, the kid from Washington, he was awesome too!

So far this season I just don’t see the same POY race developing. But that’s not surprising. A player like JJ Redick comes along maybe once in a generation, my friends! So cherish those memories, baby!

4. Shock City last year with George Mason. Who will be this year’s Cinderalla?

Well, it’s still too early to say, but my vote goes to the Crusaders of Holy Cross. They’ve been flying under the radar for many years, but I really see this as a break out year. The Crusaders are undefeated in the competitive Patriot League, and they’ve really hit their stride. But the thing that has impressed me most about this Holy Cross team was their incredible performance against Duke back in December. The Crusaders entered vaunted Cameron Indoor Stadium, the most feared venue in all of sports, and actually led by six at the half. Can you believe that? It was flat incredible! They also held Josh McRoberts to a 3 of 10 shooting performance, which is equally unheard of. And here’s the real shocker: Greg Paulus had the same number of turnovers as points in that game! I mean how rare is that?

It all just shows the obvious defensive strength of this team. Ultimately another classic Duke comeback helped the Blue Devils escape upset city, but it was still a solid performance by the visitors. The bottom line here is this: any team that comes into Cameron Indoor Stadium and holds the most powerful team in America to a single digit margin is clearly top-notch material. So don’t be at all surprised to hear my good buddy Mike Patrick shouting, “Holy Cow” about Holy Cross come March!

• "So far this season they've combined to average 34.2 points, 17.3 rebounds, and 5.8 blocks a game. They're not only the most potent frontline freshman tandem in the country, but one of the most potent frontline tandems period." - These are the words that would be written about Alex and Deon if Tyler and Brandan had never been born.
  
  
• In the words of friend-of-the-site Dan, the irony of beating Miami like a red-headed step child is that, thanks to Jimmy Graham, they have an honest-to-goodness red-headed step child on their team. Word on the street is that Frank Haith is recruiting a rented mule so that we can use a similar analogy next season.
  
  
• There was a guy at the Dean Dome for Wednesday night's game that looked strikingly similar to the "man behind the curtain" from the Wizard of Oz. He had pretty good seats, so he probably comes often. Look for him sometime.
  
  
• Bobby Frasor is nifty. That's the only way to describe him, really.
  
  
• Because Wayne Ellington is such a swell three-point shooter, it almost takes you by surprise when he does anything other than shoot from outside. But the dude can do some pretty freakishly athletic stuff.
  
  
• Look, we're glad that the Carolina band has the exclusive rights to play the songs Sweet Caroline, Paint it Black, and Take on Me. It's just a shame that the requirement for retaining those exclusive rights is that they have to play each song at least twice every game.
  
  
• "QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  
  
• If Tyler is going to continue to display a consistent jump shot, that's clearly an unfair advantage that shouldn't be allowed. In order to account for his perfection of almost every facet of the game, the NCAA should make a rule stating that Tyler only gets one point for all field goals taken outside of ten feet, and half a point for everything taken inside ten. This would create a dramatic decrease in the number of opposing coaches ejected during the course of a game.
  
  
• Reyshawn Terry gets it. He's now officially the next in a long line of solid Carolina seniors.
  
  
• Dewey Burke, Surry Wood, Wes Miller, and Bobby Frasor. When was the last time Roy put four white boys on the court at the same time?

The Tar Heels return to the friendly confines of the Dean E. Smith Center for the first time in what feels like an eternity this Wednesday night. It’s only been a week and a half, but since the last time Carolina took the court in Chapel Hill, they’ve won two road games by 28 points. Not a total of 28 points. 28 points each.

So far this season the Heels and Canes seasons have run somewhat parallel to one another. For instance, Carolina enters Wednesday night’s game on a four game winning streak, winning those four games by an average margin of 23.5 points. Meanwhile, Miami comes into the game riding a four game losing streak during which span they’ve lost by an average margin of 16.75 points. Maybe parallel wasn’t the right word to use there. Opposite may have been what I was going for.

The Miami basketball team does, however, share similarities with the school’s most recent football team. Through seven conference games, both squads were 2-5. The gridiron Canes won their final contest, grabbing an unlikely win over then 18th ranked Boston College. Of course, beating North Carolina in basketball is closer to “impossible” than “unlikely” on Carolina Water Cooler’s brand new Probability Meter, so its doubtful that after eight conference games the two sports will still share the same record.

A quick glance down the Hurricanes’ roster reveals a plethora of popular last names. For instance, when you hear the surname “Thomas,” you instantly think “Quentin.” “Glover” makes most people think of “Danny” (and also “Dion,” I suppose). “Mike” springs to mind the second anyone says “Copeland,” and “Clemente” is nearly always preceded by “Roberto.” Of course, Miami’s roster is made up of Adrian Thomas, Landon Glover, Keaton Copeland, and Denis Clemente, but that’s not the point.

The Canes are led by head coach Frank Haith. Haith has all sorts of connections to the Tar Heel state. For starters, he graduated from high school at Western Alamance in Burlington. He then attended Elon University, though we’re pretty sure it was still Elon College while he was there. He served as an assistant coach at Wake Forest University, and prior to accepting the job at Miami he worked at the University of Texas as an assistant to Rick Barnes. For those of you for whom that last connection is a little murky, Rick Barnes is from Hickory…a fact that Dave likes to throw in Stillman’s face when attempting to get under his skin. Of course, for the fact to get under his skin, it first has to get by that big nose, which is highly unlikely.

Miami is currently one of four teams with two wins in the ACC. Their two conference victories have come against Maryland, who’s not very good this season, and Georgia Tech, who is probably worse. The Canes’ most impressive loss is a tossup between their three point loss to Buffalo and their 11 point loss to Cleveland State. “Most impressive” in this context is synonymous with “most embarrassing.”

Wednesday night’s game tips off at 7 o’clock in the evening and marks the beginning of the “easy part” of Carolina’s conference schedule. After battling the Canes, the Heels will face N.C. State, Duke, and Wake Forest. While contests between Big Four schools are typically a pretty big deal, a lot of Carolina fans are already looking past these games and counting down the days until the Heels get another crack at Virginia Tech (February 13th if you want to go ahead and mark your calendar).

North Carolina heads to the wild, wild west this Saturday for a date against the Wildcats of Arizona. Carolina Water Cooler still harbors ill will toward Arizona for handing the Heels losses in the first and last games of the 1996-1997 season.

The Cats will enter the game ranked 17th or 19th, depending on which poll you ascribe to. Either way, they are ranked below Carolina, who currently sits at fourth in both polls. Not that polls are all that accurate, anyway. Take Duke, for instance. Creative clock keeping aside, they are not one of the ten best teams in the nation, yet there they sit…tenth in the nation. Even Mike Patrick was shocked when he learned the Blue Devils’ slot in this week’s poll.

However, in this instance, it’s probably fair to say that the polls are correct – Carolina is better than Arizona. The Wildcats are 14-5 on the season, but have lost four of their last six. Granted, two of those losses were against top ten teams UCLA and Oregon, but the Heels are also a top ten team. The other two losses were against somewhat less impressive competition: Southern Cal and Washington State.

When the game starts Saturday, Arizona won’t have the luxury of playing 6’9”, 241 pound Mohamed Tangara. Tangara fractured his frontal sinus against Arizona State on Wednesday night and is out indefinitely. Though Lute Olson is too classy of a guy to bring it up, it’s a well known fact that ASU coach Herb Sendek instructs his guys to play dirty. Clearly Herb saw that Tangara was having his best game of the season against the Sun Devils (two points, two rebounds) and told one of his players to go hit him in the frontal sinus.

While Lute Olson is the head coach of the Wildcats, there are two bigger names on the bench with him. The first is long-time assistant coach Jim Rosborough. This poor guy has gone through his entire life having his last name pronounced “Rose-BRO” instead of “ROZZ-burr-oh.” What’s so hard about taking the time to properly pronounce his name? The second big name on Arizona’s bench is Miles Simon, the MOP of the 1997 NCAA Tournament. After finishing his collegiate career, Simon was so popular that he played in five different countries (the U.S., Israel, Italy, Venezuela, and Turkey) before returning to Arizona as an assistant coach.

Carolina hasn’t had a lot of experience with Arizona, as last season’s victory tied the all time series at just three wins apiece. Earlier this season, however, the Heels battled High Point, whose leading scorer was Arizona Reid. After the game, Arizona was quoted as saying that North Carolina, “had more height,” but he “had more heart.” You can expect the Heels to let the Wildcats have it after that comment.

Last season’s matchup took place in the Dean Dome, and Carolina gave the Wildcats a thumping. Bobby Frasor hit a three pointer that would have been described as miraculous if he’d made it as time expired at the end of the second half instead of as time expired at the end of the first half. I guess technically for it to have been miraculous Carolina would have needed to have been losing before the shot as well.

The game tips off Saturday at 1 p.m. EST on CBS. Hopefully this won’t throw the Heels’ game off too badly, as 1 o’clock on the east coast means it’ll be something like 7:30 a.m. in Tucson.

A word from the President: The D-Bag annual meeting was fantastic. Special thanks go out to JJ Redick for his surprise guest appearance. D-Bag also extends special thanks to the sponsors of JJ’s appearance, Kleenex tissues, Visine eye drops, and Orlando Magic head coach Brian Hill, who graciously offered to grant JJ a leave of absence from the team for as long as necessary to prepare for and attend the conference.

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Mr. Kirschner, Athletic Director Baddour, members of the Carolina athletic department, and fellow fans:

Just ten days ago, I stood here before you as a man deeply saddened and greatly troubled by a total lack of concentration on both ends of the floor that led to our flukish demise at the hands of a gaggle of maroon-colored turkeys.

But the state of our union is strong. In the face of foot injuries, Mike Patrick, and a closet full of ugly neckties, our will has not been shaken. We remain an unstoppable force in the college basketball world, and I'll be dadgummed if we don't roll twelve deep.

At the point guard position, we are a blessed generation. Even without Bobby Frasor and his dad-blasted corny jokes, we can take great comfort in knowing that we rest in the capable hands of Tywon Lawson--that no good, cartoon-watching rascal--and Quentin Thomas, a youngster who's made me about as proud as a dadgum momma Wolfpacker whose 21-year-old son just learned how to use a public restroom instead of urinating in his seat at Carter-Finley Stadium.

Our other backcourt players are nothing to shake a stick at either. Wayne Ellington may not shoot the lights out every night, but you'll have to shoot Ol' Roy with a low grade beaver tranquilizer if you think you're going to come in here and start trying to fix his shot. Wes Miller has been colder than a Diet Coke for most of the season, but that youngster has more want-to in his long, pretty eyelashes that the ladies seem to like so much, than the rest of you do in your whole body. And that Dewey Burke is on pace to have Bojangle's filing Chapter 11 before the end of February.

You might have noticed that we have a bit of a logjam at the small forward position. I'm amazed that Reyshawn has a butt left, because I've been chewing on it for four years, but he's finally starting to step up to be the senior leader that I've been pestering him to be. Every now and then Danny Green will do something so stupid that I want to jerk a knot in his torso, but overall he's a great spark off the bench and a solid defender. Marcus Ginyard might be the best defender I've seen in my entire life, except maybe when I was at Kansas. Everything just seemed a little better at Kansas.

I don't know if you've seen our front line, but I'd put those youngsters up against anybody out there across this fruited plain. Brandan Wright has a wingspan longer than Greg Oden's lifespan, and of course, Tyler Hansbrough is a pretty intense sucker. I hope to one day get him on the golf course just for the sheer comedy of it all. Deon Thompson is improving every game, and Alex Stepheson is what I like to call a hybrid of Raef Lafrentz, Greg Ostertag, and The Thing from the Fantastic Four. And let's not forget Mike Copeland and Surry Wood. Without those two youngsters scoring at the end of 35-point blowouts, I probably would have blown a dadgum gasket by now out of sheer frustration when we can't step on a team's throat.

In the weeks ahead, we will press on toward a National Championship with every ounce of gumption that our human frailty will allow us to muster. Dick Vitale will say he picked us all along, but we all know that he has a picture of Josh McRoberts in a speedo taped to his bedroom ceiling.

The state of our union is strong, and in the words of my friend and mentor, Davis Love III, "I like golf."

Thank you, and may God bless Tar Heel Nation.

North Carolina enters Wednesday night’s game fresh off their 1,900th win in school history. Meanwhile, Wake Forest enters the game coming off the 1,032nd loss of their illustrious history. While 1,032 doesn’t have quite the same ring as 1,900, and though it’s losses instead of wins, it’s still an impressive feat.

The Demon Deacons are led by 6’11,” 255-pound senior Kyle Visser. Visser leads the team with 25 dunks on the season, which is only 3 behind the number of dunks Tyler Hansbrough had just 2 games into his college career. Wednesday will be the first real opportunity for Visser to challenge Hansbrough, as Kyle only notched 10 minutes and five points in the teams’ lone meeting last season. He spent the remaining 30 minutes of Wake’s 11 point loss on the bench, watching Eric Williams dominate in the low post. If not for Williams’ 19 point performance against the Heels that day, it’s possible he wouldn’t have gotten the chance to continue his career at the highest level – playing professional basketball in Italy.

Eric Williams isn’t the only former Deacon that gets paid to play basketball now; Tim Duncan has also made quite a name for himself among those who follow the non-European (but equally popular) NBA. He’s also stolen a page from Oliver Purnell’s playbook and occasionally writes to his fans via the world wide web. Of course, while Purnell has a “blog,” Duncan has a “diary,” which clearly makes Oliver the more manly of the two. So now in addition to Carolina Water Cooler’s offer to host “Roy Williams’ blog,” we’ve also carved out some bandwidth for “The Diary of Antawn Jamison.”

Getting back to current Demon Deacons, the development of freshman guard Ishmael Smith will be key in whether or not Wake Forest can make the NIT this season. Smith has 103 assists to 65 turnovers and averages 9.2 points per game. North Carolina’s freshman point guard Ty Lawson has 96 assists and 46 turnovers while averaging 8.7 points per game. Of course, Lawson has led the Heels to a 17-2 record, while the Deacs sit at 9-9. Advantage: Lawson.

If there’s one area of Wake’s game that has to improve (and, actually, there’s plenty more than one area) it’s free throw shooting. As a team the Deacons are shooting 62.4% from the charity stripe. Visser, who leads the team with 126 attempts is at 61.1% for the season, while Ishmael Smith is sitting at 45.1%. Without bothering to look up Ty’s percentage, we’ll go ahead and give him the advantage in that category as well.

Though they’re currently in the midst of a four game losing streak, Wake’s season held promise when the year began. They started out with an impressive nine point victory over Wes Miller’s former squad, James Madison. They followed that up with a huge three point, overtime win against Bucknell (just ask Kansas how tough the Bison are). Just after Thanksgiving the Deacs took down the powerhouse that is Appalachian State, a feat even Virginia couldn’t accomplish, to improve to 5-0. It was at this point in the season that the wheels fell off the proverbial wagon. Since then, Wake has lost 9 of their last 13 games, including losses to South Florida, Depaul, N.C. State, and Air Force (by 36!). In case you were wondering, none of the four victories in that span were notable.

A few fun facts about this year’s Wake Forest team: they are 0-2 on Wednesdays, 2-4 in the month of January, 1-5 when wearing black, 1-1 when wearing gold, and 1-3 when playing a game airing on the ESPN family of networks. We’ve plugged this information into an Excel spreadsheet and have learned that statistically the Deacs have a 0.36% chance of beating the Heels if they wear black Wednesday night, but a 2.49% chance of victory if they sport their gold uniforms. Either way, it doesn’t look promising.

Tip off for the game is set for 7:00 p.m. and will air on ESPN. If you feel like stabbing yourself in the eye, don’t miss ESPN Classic’s replay of the 1995 ACC Tournament Championship game at 2:00 on Wednesday afternoon.

A conversation overheard outside the Dean Dome, circa 7:15 PM Saturday evening:

"So...where are you from?"

"Bryson City."

"Oh really...I know where that is!"

"Do you?"

"Yeah, it's in Missouri, right?"

"No...mountains of North Carolina."

"Right. Bryson City. Yeah, I've been there."


About 90 minutes before tipoff, Dickie V made his first appearance in the media room, and immediately began looking for people who had seen the Duke/State game, because he'd apparently been unable to find his way to a TV for it...

"So Duke won easily? I heard it was ugly!"

After being informed that Duke had, in fact, taken the game handily, Dickie launched into a tirade about how ignorant the average American is...

"Do you know how many letters I get every day about Duke?? People asking me what's wrong with Duke, telling me that the Dukies are pitiful! All I know is that they're what...16-3? GEEZ, if only we could all be so pitiful!!!"

The preceding quote is 100% true and can be verified by several members of the media.


Now that Thaddeus Young is in the mix, how many of the 12 apostles have now played for either Georgia Tech or Carolina? Let's figure this out...there were two apostles named James, and fortunately each team brings a James to the table; Worthy for Carolina, Forrest for GT. There's a Peter (Brennan), an Andrew (Barry), a Thomas (LaGarde), a John (Salley), a Matthew (Harpring or Wenstrom, take your pick) and a Philip (Ford). This means that Thaddeus Young is the ninth apostle in this little activity and that means we're only a Simon, a Bartholomew, and a Judas Iscariot away from wrapping this thing up.

You can do it while Tyler is replacing his contact lenses. You can do it while Marcus is making his next victim cough up the ball. You can do it while Brandan is shooting free throws. You can do it while Tywon is slicing through the lane. You can do it while Roy is chewing Reyshawn out for forgetting to tie his shoelaces in a double knot. In fact, there's really not a bad time to take a glance in the direction of Erin Andrews.

On nights when Reyshawn Terry plays like a lottery pick, there is no team on the planet that can beat Carolina. Maybe the Dallas Mavericks. Maybe.

Tommy Thigpen was in attendance, of course with several recruits, but more importantly, he was accompanied by Cedric the Entertainer. Or at least some guy who looked like Cedric the Entertainer.

The highlight of the night was when Erin Andrews ascended into the stands for the obligatory interview with John Edwards. Of course he flashed his smarmy grin and sat up in his chair as he saw his next on-camera opportunity coming his way. BUT NO...Erin, moving like a Grecian goddess, politely smiled and walked right past him on her way to interview Terry Francona. YOU'VE BEEN SHOT DOWN, JOHN EDWARDS! DEAL WITH IT!!!

The arrival of wintry weather to the greater Chapel Hill area can only mean one thing…students get general admission seating in the lower level of the Dean Dome on Saturday! Ok, not really. But it would be cool if that happened again sometime in my natural life.

This weekend the Tar Heels will play host to two sets of visitors: the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets and the ESPN GameDay crew. Let’s take a look at both of these dangerous foes.

The GameDay crew enters Saturday’s event providing the home team with a 2-0 record. For their first game of the season they headed to Louisiana, where LSU took Connecticut behind the woodshed and emerged victorious. Last weekend, the crew set up camp in Pittsburgh as the Panthers squeaked out a win over Georgetown. Since the Heels are at home on Saturday, this bodes well for the game against the Yellow Jackets. However, keep in mind that the GameDay folks will be at Boston College when Carolina heads north to face the Eagles.

Rece Davis has been a superb leader for the GameDay squad so far this season, hosting the show virtually flawlessly in both outings. Davis has been on staff with ESPN since March of 1995, but somehow keeps coming up with various ways to get another year of eligibility (much like Adam Boone). Rece has had a lot of help turning GameDay into a special show to watch this season, notably from Jay Bilas and the University of North Carolina’s own Hubert Davis.

Bilas can only be described as the least obnoxious Duke graduate in the history of the University. Not only is he unbiased in his analysis, but he often times points out things you may not have previously noticed. In other words, he plays his position much better than other so-called “anchors.” Meanwhile, Hubert Davis (who has no known relation to Rece Davis) is a fairly new addition to the staff, but has been a solid performer thus far. While some people remember his playing days for the Tar Heels, younger college basketball fans know him best for calling Jay Bilas “Duke Boy” on a recent ESPN commercial.

If there’s one weakness for opponents to attack on this year’s GameDay team, it would have to be Digger Phelps. Prior to joining the squad, Phelps was the head coach at Notre Dame. In 20 seasons he led the Irish to one Final Four…only ten behind Dean Smith! After leaving Notre Dame, Phelps had a short stint with CBS before joining the ESPN staff as a walk-on. The accomplishment he’ll most be remembered for as a GameDay analyst is his invention of the “tie-lighter,” a phenomenon which allows him to match his tie perfectly with his highlighter. Neon green was probably his best performance.

After that thorough break down of the GameDay squad, there’s not a lot of room remaining in this column to dissect the Yellow Jackets. So in the interest of saving space – and to give us something to write about next time through the schedule – Carolina Water Cooler has decided to hold off on previewing Georgia Tech until prior to their March 1st game against the Heels in Atlanta.

Saturday’s game tips off at 9 p.m., but if you’re willing to make a day of Carolina basketball (and if you’re reading this, you probably are), I strongly encourage you to head to the Dean Dome at 9 a.m. with a homemade sign that says something positive about the Tar Heels, negative about the Yellow Jackets, or that mentions how much you like www.carolinawatercooler.com. If you can get close enough to the GameDay anchor desk, be sure to tell Rece Davis that Dave sent you. It’ll really throw him for a loop, because he’ll have no clue what you’re talking about.

Hey hoops fans, Dickie V here with more of the expert analysis that only comes from 28 years of objective college basketball analysis.

Well, I hate to say I told you so, but man did the Dukies ever come back from their two game slump! They took out some major frustrations by way of a 22 point drubbing of Miami! It was blow-out city, baby! And how incredible it is that they accomplished this big-time turnaround against such a powerful opponent. Don’t let Miami’s 9-9 record fool you, my friends. Just look at how many Orange Bowls alone the Hurricanes have gone to if you want to know what a formidable college program this is!

Now, personally, I’m not a bit surprised by this Duke resurgence. Not when you’re talking about the most awesome college basketball program on planet Earth. And certainly not when we’re talking about the most incredible basketball coach to ever live. Like the saying goes, you can’t keep a good man down. So how can anyone hope to keep the greatest man down, baby?

While I wasn’t surprised by the all-around superb performance, there were still so many facets of this game that impressed me. For example, did you see diaper dandy Lance Thomas attack the rack in the first half on that would be dunk? Sure, the defender stripped him of the ball before he left the floor, but you’ve gotta look beyond that. The amazing thing was how high this incredible athlete elevated. And even though he didn’t have the rock in his hands, he still grabbed the iron with such emphasis. I’m here to tell you, if that ball had gone up with him, it would have been the biggest slam bam jam we’ve seen in years! It really says so much about the Duke tradition that their players can take something like a stripped ball and still make it look like such an awesome play.

I was also really impressed with the play of Greg Paulus. We all know how this kid has been under the microscope due to some shaky play of late. It’s unfortunate, but I really look for him to become the most abused player in the game since JJ Redick. Ah, but did he ever come back from the Virginia Tech/Georgia Tech slump. He was sinking those trifectas with the greatest of ease! You’d have never suspected he had a goose egg performance only the weekend before! And did you notice his composure and steady floor leadership? He was calm, he was cool, he was collected! He was the 3-C man, baby! And I love how he had only two turnovers to go with his three assists. No doubt that will go far in his quest to finish the season with a better than 1:1 assist to turnover ratio.

I really can’t say enough about the heart of this kid. To think he could play such a solid game after the terrible injuries he has recently sustained this season. I’m talking about that scary scratch in the Gonzaga game that brought tears to the eyes of this white hot competitor majoring in toughness, and that ultimately required emergency band-aid intervention. And I don’t even want to think about the near concussion that he must have suffered when his teammate fired that end-of-game outlet pass off his noggin. Not many people could recover so soon from catching in the coconut a bullet pass thrown by the powerful arms of Josh McRoberts. What an inspiration it is to see a player put these frightening injuries behind him and still elevate his game to the next level!

Of course the common denominator here is heart and passion, my friends. And nowhere, my friends, do you see these essential elements in greater force than Duke University. You might see some talent fluctuation from year to year, but you will NEVER see a Duke team short on passion. It’s all a reflection of their leader, one Michael Krzyzewski. He is, in the words of Tina Turner, “Simply the Best.” He is a PTPer’s PTPer! The Rolls Royce of college coaches! And you better believe he knows how to get the passion up in his players! Ah, man, just talking about Coach K getting it up is more than enough to ignite my passion!!

So those are my thoughts on Sunday’s dramatic turn of events.

Roy Williams’ coaching of the Clemson game started Saturday afternoon in Blacksburg. You see, Coach Williams is a strategic genius. And don’t let him deceive you, even though he says he doesn’t ever know who Carolina’s next opponent is, as he walked onto the court to face the Hokies of Virginia Tech, he was well aware that the Heels had a date with (then) undefeated Clemson looming Wednesday night. He was also cognizant of the fact that the last time North Carolina took a number one ranking down to Clemson, the Tigers pulled off an upset. That game – you remember it best for Larry “Don’t Call Me Classy” Shyatt’s timeout with 4.4 seconds left and his team up 10 – started a string of Sunday losses that didn’t end until the Tar Heels had been eliminated from the NCAA Tournament. With four Wednesday games remaining this season, Ol’ Roy figured he could ill afford to start a similar streak, so in a tactical move he instructed his team to let Virginia Tech win, thereby surrendering their number one ranking.

Now let’s take a closer look at the boys in Orange. The Tigers are currently third in the ACC (3-1), but their opponents thus far have a combined conference record of just 4-11. Still, Clemson was the last undefeated team in college basketball before falling to Maryland on Saturday. At 17-1, they are now only 3 wins away from eclipsing their win total from last season. Like the Heels, the Tigers are fresh off a loss and looking to bounce back. Unfortunately for Clemson, they have to bounce back against a top 5 ranked opponent loaded with talent.

To combat that talent, the Tigers will probably use the same starting lineup they’ve used for all 18 games this season. They have nine players who average double figures in minutes and five who average double digit scoring, so the Heels may have a little trouble wearing them down. Their biggest threat off the bench is K.C. Rivers, who averages 15.2 points per game on 44.8% three point shooting. Note to Messieurs Ginyard and Miller: please keep a hand in his face at all times.

I’d like to congratulate Clemson University on still using a student ticket distribution policy that’s worth a hill of beans…camping out. Tuesday morning, tickets to the North Carolina game were distributed to over 2,000 students, some of whom had camped out overnight in order to receive tickets. Of course, you have to wonder why there were 145 tents set up by 8:30 Monday night when, according to Clemson Ticket Manager Travis Furbee (pictured right), everyone who waited in line got a ticket.

Is it possible that a policy that requires students to put forth a little effort serves to reduce demand for tickets, thereby allowing supply to virtually equal demand? Maybe other schools should try this method. Looking at you, Carolina administration.

Carolina Water Cooler would like to make another suggestion for Carolina’s basketball program, as well. Take a page out of Oliver Purnell’s playbook (sounds odd, doesn’t it?) and have Roy Williams (or maybe one of the more interweb-savvy assistant coaches) blog every couple of weeks during the season. It would be an excellent place for the coaching staff to voice their displeasure with late-arriving and/or early-leaving fans. To help make it a success, Carolina Water Cooler will even host the blog for free. Gratuities will be accepted.

Wednesday night’s game tips off in Littlejohn Coliseum at 7:00 p.m. and will air on ESPN. If you’re traveling to Clemson for the game, be sure to glance up at the Coliseum’s 700 ton roof which was completed in 2003. If it looks like it’s about to fall on you, have Tyler Hansbrough catch it.

Do you have any idea how long it's been since we've had the view from the couch? All of these home games, with the lone road game (St. Louis) being on ESPNU, which, like most Americans, I don't get, has rendered this an archaic feature. In fact, the last time we did this, Carolina lost. Should a loss occur today, we'll have to seriously re-evaluate the effectiveness of this whole deal.


3:37 - This is certainly not a new complaint, but WHAT EXACTLY IS SO HARD ABOUT PRONOUNCING THE NAME HANSBROUGH? There is no "O" before the "R." There never has been. There still is not. I'm assuming there never will be. It's one thing when that annoying guy from Milwaukee at your office says it wrong, but when TV guys can't get it right, don't you just want to claw their eyes out? (Looking at you, Digger. And Brent Musburger).

3:46 - And it's Reyshawn with the dunk just seconds into the game. Second time this year that we've scored in under 10 seconds (Brandan did it a few games ago...Rutgers, I think it was), and it's the third time in three years (Jackie did against Loyola-Chicago two years ago). Always tough to maintain that 800-plus point pace though.

3:51 - I do enjoy it when Reyshawn comes out of the gate looking like a lottery pick. In fact, we need to get him and Wes both playing well enough that they'll be top five draft picks, and maybe they'll push Brandan down far enough in the draft that he'll stay another year.

3:53 - Ah yes, the first text message from Benji. I was hoping to get some of those today. It seems Benji is amused by Steve Lavin's comment that Roy is able to "connect with mothers." Lavin is usually one of Benji's favorite topics of discussion. I'm glad he's calling our game today.

4:08 - Seth Greenburg has an awful lot of colors in his tie. In fact, I think that particular tie is illegal in several states and most U.S. territories. Good thing he wasn't wearing it when he went down to Puerto Rico to recruit A.D. Vassallo.

4:12 - And there's the first occurrence of Brent Musburger not being able to tell the difference between Wes and Bobby. Further confirmation that all white people look the same.

4:17 - Deon Thompson has a sweet little hook shot. He's much more polished offensively than I anticipated. This is good because it makes up for the fact that Alex is much less polished than I'd hoped.

4:20 - If I see another KFC Buffalo Snacker commercial, I may never eat at KFC again, just as a way of protesting how often that commercial gets played. Either that, or I'll go to KFC immediately after the game to get one for myself...because they look pretty good.

4:27 - "Zabian" is a pretty good name. "Dowdell" is also a pretty good name. Put them together and it's one of my favorite names ever. But he's also one of the primary reasons that we're down 10 at halftime, so I probably won't be naming my firstborn after him.

4:31 - I guess Deron Washington's hurdling of Greg Paulus is going to go down in the archives as "the play" for him. You know, the clip that they show anytime they talk about him for the rest of his career. Like that time that Greg Jones drilled Dexter Reid in Kenan and knocked his helmet off. Ever since, any time that somebody has uttered the words "Greg Jones," that clip is shown. It doesn't have to be someone talking on TV...it could be two guys talking in a deserted parking lot. As soon as one of them says "Greg Jones," a screen pops up and replays the worst moment of Dexter's life.

4:49 - Yowza...Deron can add that one to his highlight reel too. At least he didn't jump over any of our guys.

4:54 - Wait a minute, so Dowdell is from Pahokee, Florida, and he now plays for the Hokies? Couldn't have scripted that any better.

4:57 - Down 13 with under 16 minutes to play. I guess you'd say I'm officially "on edge" at this point.

5:04 - Now, when a guy in the Hokie crowd is holding a sign that "Always Beat Carolina," what sport is he talking about, exactly?

5:06 - We're down 18 points. Eighteen. My eyes hurt.

5:10 - Down 22. We're putting on a shooting performance reminiscent of the Utah loss in the '98 Final Four. And of the Arizona loss in the '97 Final Four. And of Dante Calabria during his entire senior season. There...I said it.

5:14 - Thank you, Brent Musburger, for reminding us that Virginia Tech has lost to Marshall, Southern Illinois, and Western Michigan.

5:17 - Impressive that when Tyler's contacts fall out, he can now catch them before they hit the floor.

5:24 - Games like this give you a chance to see which guys are real competitors and which ones are more inclined to thrive only in ideal situations. Suffice it to say that Wes Miller falls into the first category.

5:32 - I think Brandan has missed more free throws today than Shammond Williams missed in his entire career.

5:49 - I've extracted myself from the fetal position long enough to get my hopes up about the fact that we've cut it to 8 with 1:35 to play. Now 7 with 1:05.

5:55 - The annoyance that is Brent Musburger laughing at his own bad jokes is only magnified during gut-wrenching moments like this. Down 4, under 40 seconds to play.

5:58 - TY LAWSON!!! That little three-point play looked decidedly Feltonesque.

5:59 - Well we're not going to win this game...but oddly enough, I've had fun. Three important things that our guys can take away from this game:

1) Free throws are mighty important.
2) No matter how badly we may be playing, we're never out of a game, but at the same time...
3) We can't afford to fiddlefart around for 75% of the game and expect to flip a switch and walk away with a victory.

Hey college hoops fans, Dickie V here, back with more expert analysis. I want to pick back up with a topic I touched on last week when I posted midseason grades for the nation’s top 10 programs. Today, I want to look at the midseason favorites for national coach of the year honors.

We all know that Roy Williams won it last year for his good work in a big-time rebuilding year. And no doubt about it, recovering from the loss of a team’s top seven scorers is no small feat. Ultimately it came down to a two man race for the award with Coach Williams edging out Coach Michael Krzyzewski of Duke. It was a tough call, what with Coach K’s equally impressive magic in leading a pre-season no. 1 ranked team, with two All-Americans, the national player of the year, the national defensive player of the year, and a herd of McDonald’s All-Americans all the way to the Sweet 16. I really thought a strong argument could be made for Coach K last year seeing as how he took that group one round further than Coach Williams’ took his freshman team, but I can see the other side as well.

But this year, it’s a different ball game, my friends. And while we still have half a season to go, it’s shaping up to be a no-brainer, a true M&Mer. Yes, my friends, this year it will be a landslide victory for the great Coach K, and here’s why:

First, you’ve just gotta love what he has done in this mother of all rebuilding years. No, he didn’t lose his top seven scorers, he lost far worse. He lost the greatest one-two punch in the history of college athletics! We’re talking JJ Redick with that picture perfect area code jumper and Shelden “the Landlord” Williams, master of the low post! They were the dynamic duo, the Batman and Robin of college basketball! Ah, the memories they left us with. Did you ever tire of watching them work their magic? But it got worse for Coach K, as he also lost the invaluable emotional leadership of Lee Melchionni. Then, to top it all off, he lost Sean Dockery and his awesome contributions as, uh, . . . . Well, anyway, it was another senior lost to graduation.

So I ask you, how is a coach supposed to recover from losses of that magnitude? Oh, sure, Duke was still ranked in the preseason top 10. And, yes, they still had National High School Athlete of the Year and McDonald’s AA Josh McRoberts; they still had another McDonald’s AA and no. 1 projected point guard Greg Paulus; they still had another McDonald’s AA and California’s career all time scorer DeMarcus Nelson. Granted, they brought in some diaper dandies like Parade All-Americans Gerald Henderson and 7’ 2” Brian Zoubek, and another McDonald’s AA Jon Scheyer. But I ask you, how is a coach supposed to win with that lineup?

Well, Coach K showed us how. And it all starts with player development. Just look at what he’s done with Mr. Josh McRoberts, for example. Have you seen him make those incredible behind the back passes? How about his performance in the Virginia Tech game when he made that incredible sideways no look pass by bouncing the rock off the side of his foot! It was awesome with a capital A! And with Coach K developing this player’s offensive tools, the sky is the limit. Yes, my friends, when it comes to developing college tools, there is no one better!

And just look at the results Coach K has accomplished thus far. We’re talking impressive W’s against Ivy League power Columbia and Southern Conference foes Georgia Southern, UNC-G, and Davidson. And let’s not forget the impressive comeback wins against two powerful programs in Holy Cross and Kent State! They even came back against a very underrated San Jose State squad that came into Cameron under the radar with a deceptive 1-11 mark.

And I’ll tell you another thing my friends. Those comeback wins show us something else. I’m talking about composure, baby! Something that comes to freshmen and sophomore players only one way – by playing under the calming influence of the greatest leader in the world! Yes ladies and gentlemen, Coach Krzyzewski is the be all and end all, the alpha and the omega, a beacon of light in a world of darkness. He is the Rolls Royce of college basketball! In fact, the more I think of it, he should have won the award last year. I mean, seriously, they should just flat-out name the award after the man! Just like the Dukies named the existing floor in their 75 year old gym after him!

So those are my thoughts on this year’s COY. Stay tuned for more analysis.

In their two regular season matchups last season, North Carolina outscored Virginia by 41 points. Ready for the twist? The teams split those two games. The Heels fell by four in Charlottesville but got their revenge with a 45 point drubbing of the Hoos on Senior Night. If you recall, David Noel lit up the scoreboard with a career high 26 points that night. Just for kicks, Carolina knocked Virginia out of the ACC Tournament a little over a week later.

Chapel Hill hasn’t been kind to Virginia as of late. Since escaping the Dean Dome with a four point victory during the 8-20 season, the Cavaliers have lost four games in a row in the building by an average of 25.5 points per game. Speaking of the 8-20 season, you will never read that phrase on Carolina Water Cooler again. Ever. It’s painful to type, agonizing to read, and excruciating to say out loud, so from now on, we’ll be referring to that dreadful year as “EATS,” short for Eight And Twenty Season.

This year’s edition of the Virginia basketball team has been a case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The season started well with victories over Arizona plus a few cupcakes. Apparently the Cavs ate these cupcakes a little too quickly and experienced a bit of a hiccup in the ACC/Big 10 Challenge as they fell to Purdue. After a couple more victories, the team headed to Puerto Rico for the San Juan Shootout, where they had an absolutely abysmal showing, falling to Appalachian State and Utah and narrowly defeating Puerto Rico-Mayaguez (emphasis added).

Many people wrote off the team after the somewhat embarrassing loss to Appalachian, but once returning to their home court, they beat Gonzaga – the same Gonzaga that handed the Heels their only loss – like the proverbial drum. So who knows which Cavalier team will show up in Chapel Hill Wednesday. If it’s the Virginia team that lost by 11 to Appalachian State, you can expect North Carolina to win by around 35. If it’s the Virginia team that outscored Gonzaga 60-26 in the first half, a 20 to 25 point Tar Heel victory is probably more likely.

Wednesday night’s game marks the final game in a 42 game home stand for the Heels. Not really, but the December 22nd game against Saint Louis seems like eons ago, doesn’t it? After the game against the Cavaliers, North Carolina will hit the road to take on Virginia Tech and Clemson (not at the same time, as that would be unfair…though Carolina would probably still win).

As I mentioned earlier, David Noel scored a career high in last year’s Carolina-Virginia game in the Dean Dome. It’s possible that could happen again on Wednesday night. True, this guy probably only made the team because Dave Leitao thought it would be comical when the Wahoos played the Heels, but he probably doesn’t care how he got there. If you see him checking into the game Wednesday night, just close your eyes, listen to his name being announced over the PA system, and let the memories come flooding back.

Before I wrap up this preview, I feel obliged to (at least in passing) mention a few names you might want to keep an eye on for Virginia. Sean Singletary. J.R. Reynolds. Laurynas Mikalauskas. After Mr. Mikalauskas’ performance against Tyler Hansbrough last season, expect Psycho T to go off on the Lithuanian. So there…I’ve mentioned a few names.

Wednesday night’s game is one of six remaining 9 o’clock tip-offs for the Heels. If you don’t think you’ll be able to stay awake until the end of the game, please consider giving your ticket to a nocturnal person.

It's time for yet another installment of the Mailbag. Remember to email us whatever various and sundry thoughts you may have.

In response to Random Thoughts from the Penn Game...

Despite the fact Doris Burke doesn't look as bad in person as on TV, she looks absolutely dreadful on TV. My opinion is that "sideline reporters" are the worst pox on the TV viewer ever concocted and especially if they aren't drop dead gorgeous. And there is no upside to men sideline reporters. None at all.
Wayne K., Wilmington N.C.

While we'd agree with Wayne that the concept of sideline reporters wasn't the broadcast industry's greatest innovation, in the interest of being fair and balanced, we've composed an essay entitled A Treatise on the Arguments in Defence of Sideline Reporters. (Note the high-fallutin' Olde English spelling of "defense"):

Chapter 1: Erin Andrews

That's all we've got so far. Actually, that's probably all we need.

And Wayne's on a roll in this edition of the Mailbag...


In response to Dave’s Asheville Preview...

Being a UNC grad, class of '67, and a die hard Tar Heel fan since at least 1957, I generally pull for the other UNCs (ones that are not located in Chapel Hill) and I was delighted many years ago when UNC-Charlotte, lead by Cornbread Maxwell, made it to the Final Four. However, even though the real name of "Charlotte" is still the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, when they started calling themselves "Charlotte," I started pulling against them. If they want to be called "Charlotte," instead of UNC-Charlotte, they should change the name of the school to something like "University of Charlotte" or "N.C. State University at Charlotte." My guess (and it's just a guess) is that there is something about having UNC in the name of the school that the school sees as being in its best interest or "UNC" most likely wouldn't be in the official name of UNC-A, UNC-C, UNC-G, UNC-P (renamed UNC-P from Pembroke State Univ. in 1996) & UNC-W. It seems that maybe the 49er fans are really ABCers, so maybe they should just change their official name to something that doesn't have UNC in it at all.
Wayne K., Wilmington, N.C. 

Dave couldn’t have said it better himself. In fact, we may actually want to get Wayne to write all of the opponent previews from now on.

On winning the December Caption of the Month contest...

This is truly a fine honor to recieve and I do not take it lightly. I would first like to thank my father who's dry wit has been with me from a young age. My mother also has a keen sense of humor and she is to be thanked as well. Street ball was also critical in my recieving this honor. I probably first learned of the term "And One" watching streetball on ESPN or perhaps committing a foul on someone who and-oned me. Let's not forget Hansbrough himself. With the steady regularity with which he converts three-point plays, it was obvious that this picture screamed "And one."

On New Year's Resolutions from the Carolina locker room...

I'm glad the players' performance on your New Year's piece doesnt translate to the court.
Jason H., Hickory, N.C.

Fair point. They weren't exactly a creative group when it came to figuring out their New Year's Resolutions. Without the contributions of Dewey Burke, that entire thing would have been utterly worthless. As opposed to just being largely worthless as it turned out to be.

In response to Random Thoughts from Florida Atlantic...

So what you’re saying is that John Edwards comes in late, leaves early, kicks deserving people out, and basically acts like he did when he was a senator?
Mike S., Chapel Hill

Amazingly enough, we hadn't thought of it in those terms. But you couldn't be more correct. Although we can't recall ever seeing John Edwards do the effeminate golf clap during Congressional hearings. Not saying it didn't happen though.


In response to a December episode of Carolina Water Cooler Radio...

After listening to the latest show, I would like to comment on the fan sitting near Dave who kept saying, "When it Waynes, it pours," after Ellington scored. This fan is simply referring to Wayne 's nickname: Wayne "The Rain" Ellington. 

Why Wayne "The Rain" you might ask? 

Because he's so wet. There is a group on Facebook intended to spread the nickname throughout the UNC student fanbase. I tried to invite you because I saw you have a Facebook account, but apparently I do not have enough power in the group yet. Nonetheless, I hope you will join the group, or at least spread the nickname.......Go Heels!
Mark A., Chapel Hill

Since the time this email was received, Dave has joined the Facebook group "Wayne ‘The Rain’ Ellington,” Dave has created a Facebook Group called “Carolina Water Cooler is some funny stuff,” the Wayne Ellington Facebook group has listed it’s website as www.carolinawatercooler.com, and Stillman has joined Facebook (and, if you know Stillman, you know that's the equivalent of Michael Moore joining the NRA).  In light of all this, Carolina Water Cooler acknowledges that it should probably do Mailbags a tad bit more frequently.

It's tough to play Florida State in the Dean Dome and not think about the comeback. Twenty-one points, 11 minutes. George Lynch's dunk to take the lead resulted in one of the loudest moments in Dean Dome history. Remember the deer-in-headlights look that Pat Kennedy had after the game? Or as Mick Mixon once called it, the "speckled trout look."

Remember the comeback for the other side down in Tallahassee? On the fifth floor of Hinton James, with Carolina leading 34-13, Stillman turned to Dave and, with his tongue nestled comfortably in his cheek, said, "It's going to hurt if we lose this game." Dave scoffed and said, "It's 34-13...we're not going to lose this game." And just two hours later? The biggest meltdown in internet message board history. Just a brutal night.

Ohhhh, Uche Echefu. Remember how disappointed we were when Nigeria's favorite son picked Florida State over us? Now, when was the last time you thought about Uche before this game? Yep. Thought so. And do you think that Mike Copeland sends a postcard to Uche every now and then to express his gratitude for the open scholarship? It probably would be a nice touch for Cope to get Uche a membership in the Fruit of the Month Club if he hasn't already.

Look to the left of this sentence. Remember when a freshman Byron Sanders drilled four consecutive jump shots down in Tallahassee? Those were the days.

Remember the absolutely suffocating defense played by Jackie Manuel? And Derrick Phelps? And Dudley Bradley? Marcus Ginyard does it better than all of them.

Remember how quickly Antawn Jamison could catch the ball, turn and shoot? Those three tasks took him approximately .07 seconds. Well, now Brandan Wright is approaching that level. He catches the ball, immediately takes two quick dribbles, then dunks on your face...all in less time than it took for Pete Gillen to burn a timeout. If, by some miracle, he stays for three years like Antawn, then we'll need to make a little more room on the front row of the rafters.

Remember all of those people that were worried about the Heels overlooking the Seminoles and the freshmen not being prepared for the sudden jump in intensity that conference play was sure to bring? Yeah, neither do we.

Well hoops fans, we’ve made it through final exams, and you know what that means: it’s report card time, baby! So here’s Professor Vitale’s marks for each of the Top 10 schools as we begin the new semester:

1. UCLA: B+

The Bruins are undefeated, but they’ve struggled against their few quality opponents.

2. North Carolina: B-

Roy Williams’ Heels are looking better, but the start was shaky, baby! A nail biter against Winthrop and upset city with Gonzaga.

3. Florida: B-

Here again, lots of Ws against cupcakes, but two losses against quality opponents.

4. Wisconsin: B

I still like the Badgers, but the L to Mizzou State costs them an A.

5. Duke: A+

Call me a harsh evaluator, but there’s really only one program that I see worthy of an A at this point in the season. In fact -- and this will surprise some people I’m sure -- I give an A+ to Duke University. Ah, man, I just can’t say enough about the way this group has overachieved. I mean, let’s just look at what the Dukies have pulled off here. First, they recover from the most devastating loss of athletes in the history of all college sports. Who gave them any chance of surviving the loss of JJ Redick and Sheldon Williams, not to mention the emotional leadership of one Lee Melchionni? Then, just when everyone was writing them off, they storm through the non-conference schedule. Not only that, they do it by knocking off REAL competition. One by one Coach K knocks off one impressive mid-major program after another. We’re talking Columbia, Georgia Southern, UNC-Greensboro, Davidson. No cupcakes, here, my friends! Sure, San Jose State is only 1-11, but I’m here to tell you they are the strongest 1-11 team in the country, baby! They are just 4 or 5 players away from having one of the best starting five in America, and Duke still came back to destroy them! It was awesome with a capital A!

And Coach K, always up to a challenge, even scheduled an early season match-up against mighty George Mason – a Final Four team from just last season! And don’t forget too that of their thirteen games thus far, three were played away from Durham! That’s right, they played three games on a neutral court! Unbelievable, baby! Sure, they lost one of the two, but that experience will really help this young team come March.

I really like the composure of this young club too. We saw it so clearly as they fought back against a very powerful Holy Cross team. Credit the steady floor leadership of Greg Paulus and Josh McRoberts for that. And don’t overlook their mental toughness either. The way Mr. Paulus came back from that horrible injury when he cut his chin diving for a loose ball. I thought it was an impossibility, but there he was, playing as if that band-aid wasn’t even there! It just shows the heart of this team. The bottom line is this: they are getting senior leadership from sophomore players. These guys are just flat-out winners. There’s no denying it!

Of course, none of this should come as a surprise. Not when you’re talking about the uno number one program coached by the uno number one Coach in all of America. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: this man could coach the US bobsled team to a gold medal! He is the King of the college hardwood! Yes sir, “Coach K” and “hardwood” are too terms that go together like hand in glove, baby!

6. Ohio State: C+

The Buckeyes are good, but what happened against Florida? Blow-out city costs a full letter grade.